<p>I have posted my stats several times before, but here it is again:</p>
<p>in high school, I performed quite poorly academically since i spent my time doing research instead of focusing on school work (and I published in a prestigious scientific journal , however that didnt carry over to the admissions officers). As a result of this I did not get into the colleges I wanted to.</p>
<p>In college, my first semester was HORRID...a 2.3 gpa. It was all my fault. I felt like a failure for not getting into the schools I wanted, I was surrounded by people whose work ethic/goals were pulling me down, and as a result had no motivation to work. Later during that semester, my grandfather had a lethal heart attack and my family was in a state of shock. This trauma also got to me and had me worried about what was going to happen.</p>
<p>My second semester improved slightly (a 3.0) but still nowhere near what I wanted to get. This semester I was hoping for a 4.0, but fell WAY short of my goal, I am expecting a 3.0ish gpa, making my cGPA around a 2.8.</p>
<p>My dream school is (or rather was) Cornell. At this point it seems ridiculous to think about applying let alone thinking about getting in. This also holds true for my other dream school Emory. </p>
<p>The point of this rather long post is that I am going into depression. I have no motivation to do anything anymore and am stuck feeling like a failure for screwing up so much. I watch all my friends get in and surpass me, and feel like im losing out. This thought has become cyclical and I cant afford another semester of poor performance. I need to get this fixed before next semester starts. If I screw up again, then my chances of med school is over, even though its looking remote already.</p>
<p>tompi,
It sounds like you need to put college in the back seat right now and concentrate on your mental health. Have you talked to your parents or the health center at your school? Please go get some help, college will always be there, take care of yourself first.</p>
<p>^ That advice is spot-on. Your academic performance can’t improve without first tackling the underlying issue of your mental health. See a professional (counselor, therapist, psychologist etc.) about this as quickly as possible so that you can begin getting back on track. I speak from personal experience here; I went through a quite lengthy major-depressive episode, recovered, and am now more motivated than ever to pursue my goals. If you have any specific questions or anything you may send me a private message.</p>
<p>but my underlying mental issue is because of this situation, its not that i was always depressed, its only started recently after i put myself in this situation. in other words, my academic performance IS the reason for my underlying mental condition. if anyone has been in a similar spot and managed to pull themselves together, i would appreciate it if you told me how you did it.</p>
<p>^ i appreciate the advice that you both have given me, however understand that stopping college, or going to community college aren’t feasible options for me financially at this point.</p>
<p>Since this has been going on over 3 semesters now, I’m concerned that there’s no quick fix (ie. over the break) that is going to break the cycle. If nothing else, you need to talk to a counselor at home over break, continue with a counselor when you go back to school and utilize all of the academic help offered at your school (tutoring services, study groups, etc.).</p>
<p>Even though the academic performance may have caused it, it sounds like something more serious may be going on. You note that:
That’s like a textbook representation of depression; your motivation is gone, your thought-process has become self-defeating and you view yourself as a failure. That’s really not an easy cycle to break on your own. You can still probably really benefit from talking this through with a professional. </p>
<p>
I had a great counselor to talk to who really helped me get back on my feet. I don’t think I can pinpoint exactly how, as it was a gradual process until one day it just kind of “clicked.” I think the biggest thing I was able to do was put my past failures behind me (and mine were pretty big) and realize that I was still completely capable of accomplishing my goals. You mentioned that you published in a prestigious journal while still in highschool - that’s an amazing accomplishment which proves that you clearly have a great head on your shoulders. Even though you feel depressed and hopeless now, underneath that you’re still the same bright person. You need to focus on the present and do everything you can to make the best of your situation. You’ve identified the cause of your depression as your academic performance, now try to examine the causes of your academic performance and remedy them. </p>
<p>I still must advocate seeing a counselor though, for your safety.</p>
<p>you must abandon those friends and seek friends who have great work ethic. They will then motivate you to do your work/study and then you’ll get great grades. good luck.</p>
<p>hmm that certainly is a good outlook transfer student2 …however im not too sure what the point is in trying anymore, since its pretty clear that the only way ill get into either of those two schools is by a god given miracle. </p>
<p>i will try my best to look into the positive side of things when next semester starts. </p>
<p>i guess it just really hurts knowing that i failed in achieving my dreams. perhaps time is the only medicine for me at this point.</p>
<p>I have felt somewhat like this too lately, though not quite depressed. I have alot of family that have done better than me in school and as of now feel like an underachiever, even though I know that I’m trying and that I’m not stupid. I agree with the POSSIBILITY of taking some time off to refocus yourself,I might do that in the Fall.</p>
<p>I truly believe that anything is possible, if you are willing to work for it. If your ultimate goal is attend Cornell or Emory as an undergraduate student and you really deep down want this to happen, then you will find a way. The thing is, that it takes a lot of work and a lot of time, but if it truly what you want, then you can find a way to make it come true. Don’t wallow in self pity because of your current school, know that it is only temporary and work hard, so that you can one day leave.</p>
<p>thanks for the reply cloutclout and it is indeed a valid axiom that i firmly believed in. </p>
<p>however now i have to be realistic since application time is very close, applying to Cornell and Emory with a 2.73 gpa is just a waste of time and money. Even if i somehow pull a 4.0 next sem, and even if those grades are considered, we’re still looking at a 3.1 gpa. so as painful as this truth maybe, i have to accept that i won’t get in.</p>
<p>this is what i think the root cause of my problems are. i really wanted to get in and couldn’t, now i think of myself as an underachiever and can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything anymore.</p>
<p>if there is anything that anyone can suggest to me overcome this train of thought it would be much appreciated. u guys have already offered some great advice, and i thank all of you for it. i just don’t want to go into next semester where im going to have work my @$$ off with the will to do nothing.</p>
<p>I feel for you tompi.
I think this is one of the biggest pitfalls of the educational system. You work hard in HS then don’t get into the school you want and end up somewhere you really don’t want to be but if you don’t perform there with the same effort you put into your HS studies, you push back any chance you had of transferring into those schools by years.</p>
<p>I think the only thing you can do is stay strong, do well next semester, stay at your school an extra year and put all this in your essays. Maybe try to apply to Cornell/Emory again and explain your situation.
I’m with you on this, hope you can reach your potential.</p>
<p>What about being more realistic about your transfer possibilities? Ok, so maybe Cornell and Emory are not in the cards right now, but there are other good schools that could be if you are unhappy at your present one. What about making next semester really count and bringing up your gpa to a 3.0 or a little above. Then you will open up the possibility of numerous schools you could apply to. It does not stop you from pursuing your goal of medical school.</p>
<p>I agree with you that your depression is situational and while it may prove beneficial to talk to a school counselor about your path and goals and to get you sorted out on a road you can be happy with, I highly doubt you need more than that.</p>
<p>Sounds like you just need to reasess your college path and figure out what will work and what you can live with comfortably. It doesn’t mean it’s bad, just maybe different than what you started off with.</p>
<p>i was going to apply to ubc, mcgill, and utoronto. three great canadian schools which i doubt ill get into. </p>
<p>its pretty obvious that im not good enough for cornell or emory, is it really worth applying anywhere else? im not trying to say that cornell and emory are the only possible uni’s to transfer too. im saying that im jst not really too sure which uni (if any) that has a somewhat decent biology program will accept me. mcgill is definitely a uni that is (or rather was) on top of my list, but thats over now.</p>
<p>i doubt ubc or utoronto will accept me, but if anyone knows otherwise much appreciate it. </p>
<p>is it still worth trying anymore? do i still have a chance at any respected university?</p>
<p>Unless there is a chance that you’re a brilliant writer and could write a fantastically witty transfer essay about death, depression, peer-pressure, and misguided goals, I think that taking some time off from school would be extremely beneficial. I took about two years off and it was BRUTAL to my self-esteem and ego, but I had all that time to work on my fantastic essay. Just make sure you focus some of your energy on giving back. I’m rooting for you. I can relate your experiences to my own complicated life, and I think people like us often get overlooked. It stinks.</p>
<p>I think the odds are against you applying this year, but there is always next year! When I said it takes a lot of work/time, I was implying that it may take a couple of tries to get in.</p>
<p>so i don’t have a shot at utoronto, ubc, or mcgill either? they said they would wait for my grades next sem before deciding, if i do well, i would apply with a 3.1. but apparently it doesnt really matter anymore. </p>
<p>i appreciate the advice that you guys are giving me about taking some time off, but please understand that it is not a feasible option for me at this point.</p>
<p>that being said, is there any decent uni out there, with a decent bio program, that may even CONSIDER looking at my application?</p>