<p>That argument was made long ago. It didn’t seem to move you. Perhaps a person who feels completely comfortable dressing and undressing in front of friends and acquaintances of either gender, as I believe you said you do, simply cannot imagine the discomfort felt by those who are not really comfortable doing so even in a single-gender locker room. But there are plenty of people out there who do NOT share your insouciance. In a situation where three bathrooms are available per floor, to simply ignore the feelings of a significant number of students who could be SO easily accommodated while taking nothing away from the rest is simply cruel.</p>
<p>And don’t presume to tell me about sexism and oppression of women. As the oppressor, you have no further right to voice you opinion on this one.</p>
I believe JHS and I both went to Yale, and the housing draw is more complicated than that (at least in the residential colleges I know about). Groups draw for particular suites, and the floor or entryway might be single sex or co-ed–you don’t know until the draw is complete. The only way I know of to ensure that you’ll have a single sex bathroom is to try to get a suite that has the bathroom inside the suite (or perhaps where there is only one suite on the entryway floor). I don’t think there are such things as single-sex entryways–at least, I’ve never heard of it. Back in my day, I don’t think freshmen had co-ed bathrooms, because the floors were single-sex. But that wasn’t the case for upperclassmen.</p>
<p>Hunt - it might surprise you to know that there are many conservatives who are activists, many who are minorities, many who are gay.</p>
<p>Just because you run into some jerks - careful not to lump all in together. ;)</p>
<p>And just because men (collectively) have been king of the mountain - and have been collectively viewed by some as oppressors, does not mean that these young deserve to be cut low by their voices being silenced. (“what goes around comes around”).</p>
<p>I don’t see why this should be so hard for the dorm staff to deal with. If there are three bathrooms per floor, one of each gender and one co-ed should fulfill everyone’s needs.</p>
<p>And if there is only one bathroom per floor, just do it like some colleges have done for ages. Before room assignments, ask incoming residents whether they want a co-ed floor with co-ed bathroom, or a single-gender floor, or don’t care. Put those who want a single-gender floor into single-gender floors, and make the rest co-ed (in practice, this did mean that the “don’t care” people got put in single-gender floors, as did a few who preferred co-ed, since it was only a small, but non-zero, minority that preferred single-gender floors).</p>
<p>In this case where there are, indeed, 3 bathrooms on the floor. Sharing between gender is not an unavoidable compromise. It can easily be avoided by having one women only, one men only and one gender neutral. It seems pretty simple.</p>
<p>Also, the inappropriate behavior or sexual harassment is not necessarily exclusive to the bathroom, as it can occur in the hallway of the dorm or floor. Has that been addressed?</p>
It does seem simple, but maybe it isn’t. For example, what if the one female bathroom is much smaller than the others? What if there were 10 girls who wanted a single-sex bathroom, two boys who wanted one, and everybody else preferred co-ed bathrooms?</p>
<p>Given bathroom use patterns (i.e. more females, and females tending to use the bathroom for longer periods of time), if the three bathrooms are of different sizes, then the most effective load balancing would likely make the male bathroom the smallest one, and the co-ed bathroom the largest one.</p>
<p>I am sure it has been brought up before, but some schools have signs that can temporarily make a unisex bathroom a coed bathroom simply by putting a male only, female only or everyone welcome signal on the door. That would allow the most comfortable access for the minority and allow the greatest percentage of access to all. </p>
<p>Also, I agree that the sexual harassment issue needs to be raised. These young women and men have been raised in a highly sexualized environment, and some may carry perceptions that college/adult behavior allows for things that are in fact, offensive. Both genders can be guilty of this and discussing it/learning about it, would benefit all.</p>
<p>However, in this case the default position was to have one each single sex. The designations were changed after the fact. Also, in most cases the boys who are fine with or stated a preference for gender neutral could also use and all mens BR without inconvenience. Yes, there will be boys who are MOST comfortable in a gender neutral BR and in the ‘one of each’ setting they would still give them that option. </p>
<p>On a side note . . . the only thing that makes mens restroom lines smaller at public venues it the presence of large banks of open urinals. In a co-ed stall setting the boys aren’t going to be quicker or use less bathroom time per capita than the girls. I know a few guys who can “camp out” in there and my teenage boy certainly doesn’t take shorter showers than the girl. ;)</p>
<p>“And don’t presume to tell me about sexism and oppression of women. As the oppressor, you have no further right to voice you opinion on this one.”</p>
<p>I second that one. For those members of the oppressive majority who feel guilty about being part of that group…I sure hope you don’t have sons that you inflict this self-loathing upon.</p>
<p>There is always a more aggressive tactic the oppressive majority can take. Declare war (because of course, that is what the oppressors do best). Choose a bathroom to commandeer (it would be best if it was the least desired/smallest one). Put a sign on it that says men only. The guys use only that bathroom, all the time. Be pigs in it, pee all over the seats, make the girls uncomfortable, be obnoxious. Take long, long showers when girls are waiting. Make it undesirable to use.</p>
<p>“This might not be too effective if those who want a males-only bathroom are a small minority of males, which it appears may be the case here.”</p>
<p>There is no basis to make that assumption. The OP states, “My son says some of the boys, including him, are walking a few blocks to a men’s bathroom in one of the academic buildings.” And that there are no mens bathrooms in the entire dorm, with a 60/40 female/male split. I suspect there would be easily enough to fill a bathroom.</p>
<p>After freshman year, students select their living arrangements based upon a draw. At least for my D, she and her suitemates were given the option to select a female-only entryway (which they did); the next year, they selected a female-only suite with its own bathroom. The do have choices that allow them to know in advance whether they may or may not be sharing a gender-neutral bathroom.</p>
<p>Thanks, Bay. I don’t think that was the case in my day. But…
This is sort of true. The freshman bathrooms are mostly within the suites now, so they are single-sex, and it may well be true that each floor on a particular entryway is single sex. BUT a suite of girls may be connected by an unlocked fire door to a suite of boys.</p>
<p>Thank you both for stating this clearly. As to the poster who considers those not in favor of unisex bathrooms to be ‘zealots’ who need to be put in their place…well…I have met you …many times. You are the person on the playground who shouted down my mom for speaking German to her kids in the late 1960’s. After all, she was a representative of an oppressive and evil group and it was your responsibility to make sure she felt the appropriate ‘group guilt’. In this case individuality did not matter, what mattered. Wow, just wow.</p>