Getting Accepted does NOT mean that a Merit Scholarship will be forthcoming....

If the sibling is living at the parents’ place and commuting, how are such expenses accounted for for this purpose? Food, utilities, and commuting have non-zero costs, but are usually not as obvious to the family as a check made out for a semester or year of room and board costs in the dorm.

Not a situation I’ve had to report about, but my guess is that the school requesting the information looks at what the sibling’s school publishes for a COA for a commuting student living at home.

@BelknapPoint The CSS profile looks at the value and mortgage balance of your primary home , so for some private schools it is considered when determining need.

^^^ not all schools have that. But, either way…a CSU that a student commutes to school from home isn’t likely going to cost more than $10k-15k per year, which is much less than if the student were a residential student at - say - USC.

So, I was just wondering, if there were 3 in college, and 2 are commuting to the local CSU, then the total cost of those two kids’ college costs are about half of Stanford’s COA, so would S calculate that way?

Yes, I know that. I said that some Profile schools do not look at primary home equity, which means that some Profile schools do.

@BelknapPoint We must have been posting at the same time because your post wasn’t posted when I replied.

If you keep the schools the same (i.e. same school, commute from parents’ place versus live on/near campus on one’s own), then the difference is shown by some schools’ web sites. Example CSUs:

http://www.calstatela.edu/financialaid/2015-2016-cost-attendance
http://www.sjsu.edu/faso/Applying/Cost_of_Attendance/

Of course, costs of living with parents are probably quite variable from one student to another, based on how the family eats and uses utilities, as well as how costly the commute is to campus (in terms of distance and mode).

USC does not list a commute-from-parents’-place budget, but UCLA does:

http://www.usc.edu/admission/fa/undergraduates/admitted/how-much-will-my-education-cost.html
https://www.admissions.ucla.edu/prospect/budget.htm

I would like to offer the perspective of a parent who’s high stat son would not qualify for any need-based aid, and we unfortunately did not save enough to afford much more than our in-state SUNY schools cost (say around $25K per year). Perhaps my lesson learned could help others. So the strategy was to apply mostly to our in-state SUNY and OOS State undergraduate business (son’s preference of major) schools because the tuition is around 30K for the OOS State schools versus upwards of $43,000 for highly ranked private schools. And these OOS State Schools are known to offer decent merit aid, whereas the elite OOS State schools and top ranked private schools would likely not. We told our son if he got an offer where the total cost of attendance was in the ballpark of $30K he could choose whichever of those schools he felt was the best fit. Result was he got admitted to highly competitive business schools with merit of, in descending order: Ohio State ($15K), UMass ($10K), UDel ($10k), Indiana ($7K), UMaryland ($5,000), UFlorida (0), Michigan (0). Peers of my son received max merit per year of $12000 at Indiana and Maryland and UMass. Only Ohio State, UMass & Delaware were in the ballpark based on the amount of merit aid offered, but at least he had a few choices in addition to the SUNYs. And he chose Ohio State Fisher (with admittance to Honors Program) because he felt the best fit there, and he is very happy now. By the way, the most merit he got from a highly ranked private was Syracuse, $12,000, but cost of attendance even with that would have been $45K per year, which to us was not doable cost-wise.

trackmb3, nice that he could go out of state! Unfortunate that NY can’t compare to those other schools.

I used to have a similar mindset to the students in the OP. CC has helped me SO much with the financial aspect of college! I once dreamed of attending CSULA, but CC has shown me a better path…

I’m a first-generation student who attends one of the worst high schools in NJ. I’ve had to do all of my college research on my own. College Confidential has been more helpful than my guidance counselor, the only thing he’s done has been giving me a list of over-priced privates.

It’s true desperate privates will offer large scholarships! (Eastern Nazarene offered me a $18,000 scholarship with a 3.3/1410, I’m very suspicious…)

Today, I’ve applied to some great north-eastern schools. Unfortunately, I’ve realized 5 out of 7 will be unaffordable (which my GC never told me). College Confidential helped me discover Temple University, which is my current dream school. If I don’t go there, I’ll attend a lovely state school. I will get into a bit of debt at any college, but I will NOT be one of those people who’s paying $500 a month at age 50!

Thank you College Confidential, for saving me from $100,000+ of debt!

Yup… Misled by colleges and GC. My S1 is high achieving and we let him apply to mostly reach schools because we again thought we were need based and I want him to live his dream. He worked his butt off in school and thought that is all he needed to do. Don’t live high on the hog. WOW, EFC is ridiculous. Thought we were need based what a shock. We might get $8k at BC if lucky. We struggle to pay bills every month. Lots of money spent on travel sports, medical bills and the highly overpriced taxes, insurance etc in NJ. Middle class but definitely not enough. both of us work and just started making decent incomes with a large spike this year due that will we will never get again. I am up all night searching like a mad person for scholarship that are non-existent. I guess it is our fault for not starting the process early but like most parents are just crazy busy with work, driving S1 and S2 to sports, community service, friends to study. Trying to do all the right things to get him that money. please tell all your friends with young kids to look at the EFC calculator every year and start planning early. I will not let this happen to my friends and family. The crazy thing is I will take out these loans for my S1 because I led him in the wrong direction. I took him to Princeton too look, I didn’t read up on anything instead listen to all the admission officer after admission officer - just kept hearing need based, merit scholarships. The fact is he is only a little above average for UVA, JH, BC, Cornell and a few others. I told him all he needed to do was get great grades and work hard,and he did exactly what I asked. It just stinks that colleges are so expensive. OK I am done. Sorry

@aehshm…what does he say when you are brutally honest with him? Have you told him the truth about how much these loans will hurt your financial future?

I was in line today at a store and heard the mom telling her friend: “she’s in the top 10% and wants to be pre-med.” “Uh huh, she’s going to apply to the Ivies.” I listened and nodded and then probably annoyingly said “that’s AWESOME! Have fun with that EFC wink wink.” The mom looked at me blankly. “The EFC?” I then had to fill her in about the NPC, how to figure out your EFC and how the Ivies don’t give merit aid. “But we know people who got full rides at the Ivies!” (this is sounding like a replay of the posts from this string isn’t it?!!!). “Yes ma’m, but those are almost always NEED based. If you have financial need then awesome for you that you’ve raised this great kid, but if you don’t have need then it won’t happen.”

–then I had to shut up because I know I sounded annoying as all get out. But this lady didn’t even know what an EFC is!

I think a lot of kids work really hard in high school and we all want the best for our kids, we want to reward them. I have two who did, not perfect but they did their best. Do I say 'no college for you because you didn’t have perfect scores" ? Shouldn’t they get to go to the very best ranked school they could get into? No, because I just couldn’t afford it.

I think you are making a big mistake, @aehshm, if you borrow thousands of dollars for Son 1, because then you’ll think you need to do it for Son2 also, and you’ll be the one working forever to pay it off. There are many cheaper schools where high achieving students go. State flagships, regional schools that have a great engineering program or nursing program or even a lower ranked state school that has the best program for teachers. You made a mistake, but don’t make another by borrowing more than you can afford.

Hi. Wow, thanks for asking.

I find myself doing the same thing. I don’t want anyone to live through this. I have told friends and they do the same thing as the lady you mentioned and I am extremely adamant that they listen too me. I tell them please look at this calculator, please look at this calculator and then the eyes roll at me. Everyone thinks they understand but they don’t. So my husband and I sat him down and well I told him because my husband still doesn’t really get it. But we did it together and you could see my son visibly choke up and say that he doesn’t get it he worked so hard to get there and I explained how it all works. He’s smart he got it but was so upset. And then my my husband is a wimp. He said listen we will make it all work for you. We will work until we are 80 if we have too. And we will. Our life has always been all about the kids. My husband and I both grew up in weird family situations and didn’t want our kids to experience what we went through. But I insisted that he apply to a state school just to have a serious back up. He did it very reluctantly and I pray he did a good job on the app. But it won’t be pretty if we make him go their.

@aehshm I am glad you are finding this out now. There is still time. Please know you are not alone. Lots of parents mistakenly think our smart hardworking kids can go anywhere they want and then we wake up and smell the coffee.

I urge you to rethink the loans. You are going to be 75 and having to decide if you can afford your medicine or your electricity. What happens if you become ill and can no longer work? Your son can go to a much cheaper school and he will be fine. I know sooooooo many people who went to regular state schools and they have great lives and great incomes.

@aehshm How do you think he will feel 10yrs from now when he has graduated, has a job, realizes that he could have a similar or same job going to the state school, and has to face the fact that his unnecessary and temporary four yr dream means his parents will be working for yrs to pay for it?

I do not know your child, but that would tear my kids up.

You may want to ask both yourself and your older son how you will be able to fund college for your younger son if you take parental loans for your older son’s college. And if you do take parental loans for your older son’s college, there is the possibility that you may run out of borrowing capacity and be denied before he graduates, forcing him to drop out.

What is wrong (in his mind) with state schools like Rutgers?

Hi thank you so much. After we figured this out we did insist he apply to a state school and we just hit it before the deadline. He was super reluctant so let’s hope he did well on his essay. He is a comp science major and wants to do cyber security. S2 isn’t nearly as studious and we will be able to steer him better and make better choices. I found this great calculator online that shows interest on loans, as well as cost of living, bills insurance, car payment in relation to average starting salary in his field. It is super and I plan on showing it too him once we see offers. i know it’s a mistake but my husband and I both come from weird families and we have always been all about the kids. We want them to have what we didn’t. The thought of breaking your sons heart is just unbearable for me.

You made a mistake… don’t compound it by going deeply into debt prior to your retirement. If your son needs to take a gap year and re-apply to schools that make more sense, then so be it. Or attend the state university, then he should do that. DO NOT mortgage your own future for any of those schools. He will end up supporting you in your old age, and that is not the goal you want to reach here. Lots of us are all about our kids, too – but we know that impoverishing ourselves for their sake isn’t in their best interest. I know you and your H don’t want to disappoint him, but the long term impact of big loans will hurt him, too. Sorry this is working out this way, but I think you need to do a little tough love with your H on the side, then present a united front to your son that he cannot attend schools that are too expensive for your family.

@ucbalumnus

He originally had Rutgers on his list but then changed his mind and we didn’t realize the consequences… what he told us was he missed the deadline because it is in December but someone said they have rolling. We did insist he apply to a sate school once we did our Fafsa. So he applied to tcnj reluctantly and we just caught the deadLine. But it is going to be mess when we tell him to go there. His major is comp science and he wants to do cyber security. He felt applying to GW, UVA, JH would have better opportunities to work for the government. Husband and I both came from weird families and we have always doted on our kids. We wanted them to have a great life.