<p>My life is like a black hole and I can't seem to get back on track. I'm a sophomore at a school I don't like/had no intention of going to (I'm here for financial reasons). I do go to a top-25 school, and my current school is actually ranked 5-10 spots better than my dream school is, but I'm just very bitter I could not afford my dream school and was forced to go here because of financial aid.</p>
<p>I've become depressed and have no motivation to do ANYTHING. My GPA is slightly above a 3.0 which is actually average/above average for some majors at my school, and my counselor and advisors are actually amazed I'm not failing out for the amount of work I do (which is barely anything on top of sleeping in class/not paying attention). I started getting treated for depression, but my school is stupid and I'm only allowed 12 sessions a year, and then I'm forced to find a private psychologist. I've used up those visits and have stopped taking the depression medication I was prescribed because I didn't have the money to afford it since I literally live paycheck to paycheck and have to pay for food/my car/part of my rent and I don't want to tell my parents I've been seeking treatment for depression.</p>
<p>A lot of factors have led me to where I am. In HS, I didn't have to study so I greatly lack good study habits. I've tried a few times to do the readings/outline, but have not been able to find the motivation to keep up with it or even get myself to do it. So because I suck at studying, it's like a downward spiral where things keep getting worse and worse. I don't study because of lack of motivation because I'm depressed, but I'm depressed from my lack of motivation and frustration at myself that although I'm doing average, I know I can be doing a lot better.</p>
<p>I feel as if once/when I get my schoolwork on track, I can get other aspects of my life back on track too, but it's very hard and I'm struggling on where to start. I keep telling myself now that it's so close to the end of the semester, that why should I bother trying now and that I won't let it happen next semester, but that's what I told myself last spring semester about the fall.</p>
<p>Any tips to get my schoolwork in order so that I may be able to get the rest of my life in order too? Also, do you guys think I should try to go back on the meds? I still didn't really do my work on them, but at least I wasn't so depressed about it. More like apathetic that I didn't do it instead of being stressed, which in some ways might actually be worse.</p>