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<p>Oh, yes… still an issue for my college freshman D. :(</p>
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<p>And this… but she would say, “Oh, I just did it a second time when I couldn’t find it and handed that in”. 
There is not nearly as much time in college to do your homework twice…</p>
<p>My S’16 is not “gifted-gifted”…he’s just very bright. But, there’s always been "something’ just “missing” with the whole organizational, focus, attention thing. Because he got good grades (A’s and B’s) no one thought there was a problem…especially the teachers…and because he is a boy…everyone thought “it’s just immaturity”…but, he’s gotten so frustrated over what he believes is trying his best, and just not coming through…or getting those A’s until he forgets his homework (that he actually did do) and gets a Zero…or, forgot? to look at the otherside of the paper to see the other 4 questions…so, he gets a ???40…and slips to C’s and B’s…and somehow by the end…gets B’s… anyway, long story-short…I paid the major bucks to have him fullly testes…he has ADHD, “mild”, but was told that many really bright kids (he does have a high IQ apparently) don’t “show” their ADHD until the workload and expectations gear up in High School and in the Upper/honors level classes… He’s going to try meds…he wasn’t intrested in anything, but now that two marking periods have gone by, and he continues to try-try-try and nothing happens for the better, he wants to see if medication may help him. He gets poor grades for “participation”, because, while he’s staring out the class window “inattentive”, the teacher, and classmates thinks he’s disinterested…so, we’ll see…</p>
<p>tested not testes…sorry!!</p>
<p>We lived this in high school – at least now that he is in college, I don’t see it on a daily basis! Years of coming home from school without the book, the assignment etc., or not realizing that the test is the next day. Yet his teachers always talked about his intelligence . . We were grateful for the many teachers who did not take him at face value but looked and saw beneath the inattentive, distracted surface. </p>
<p>Summer before college, he did full testing to see if it was more than (what I always attributed to) laziness etc. and he was diagnosed with ADHD. The meds do help, and he is more attentive so that he can be more organized. He is registered with services at college, and that allows him to get executive function support which he still really needs. He has not used any actual accommodations for exams etc, but I think the knowledge that he could, plus the support in terms of training for executive function, is well worth it. </p>
<p>For years, we just thought he was smart and goofy and a boy. Now that my younger son is in high school, I realize it isn’t boys or immaturity, it was him and the way his brain is wired.</p>
<p>Midwestmom: how would you advise me to work with S…he’s in HS and just started meds. Given that he is still “young”…I’d like to “teach” him how to recognize the ways to become more organized? I figure the medication may help, but he still will need to “learn” how to do it now that his brain works…??</p>
<p>My son and daughter both imposed their own organizational systems as they got very busy and lost track of things more easily. For my son, he gets color coded book covers, notebooks and folders so each class has its own color. I think he’s kept them consistent colors throughout high school so math is always red, science is always green, etc. Since middle school, they’ve given the kids planners on the first day of school. The planners have the student code of conduct and hall passes in them so you can’t be without your planner if you ever need a pass. Each period, a student can quickly jot down homework for that night in the planner. It seems antiquated to use a paper planner to me, but I guess it helps even the playing field since some kids don’t have phones they could use for this purpose.</p>
<p>My daughter, in college, now uses apps on her ipad or iphone and uses her gmail calendar for everything. She blocks out time for certain projects and homework. She has lists. </p>
<p>I am a list person myself. I always have a work “to do” list going and a home “to do” list. I have to use a calendar with reminders or I miss things. </p>
<p>Incidentally, my son used to get A-s a lot only because he didn’t do his homework or didn’t turn it in- or did the bare minimum possible even though he was capable of more. A couple teachers called him out on it in 9th grade- essentially said he works at being lazy and he did NOT like that at all. Since that parent-teacher conference, he has done everything he needed to do at his top level ability and has had a complete and total turn around. He just wasn’t motivated prior to that. Now he tries to excel at everything he does and succeeds quite well. </p>
<p>I always thought my son was borderline ADD in elementary school, but he managed to cope on his own. He prefers a lot of structure and had a terrible time in early el when everything was about “centers”. To have 5 different learning activities going on in one room at the same time was not compatible with his need for structure. Parents thought I was crazy for requesting some of the more “old school” teachers for him who I knew ran a very structured classroom, but it was right for him. He couldn’t handle the looseness of centers and was never at the center where he should be. Once classes became more “sit and listen to the teacher”, he did better. He had one really excellent teacher who had sensory calming stimulus in the room- bean bag chairs, floor lamps instead of over head flourescents, played CDs of ocean waves during reading and worksheet times, etc. She was great for him and he learned a lot of self calming methods in that third grade class!</p>
<p>Drmom – I suppose the biggest thing we could have done was push for diagnosis sooner – which you have done! In middle school, I nagged and cajoled and punished about using a planner, never made a difference, he still didn’t use one. High school, he relied on the kindness of his friends – through FB and phone he could find out what he had to do after he left school. His default mode was to bring everything home so he minimized risk of forgetting something. The substantive work itself he was quite good at, and he would take time and attention to detail, especially for teachers he respected (the tough ones). </p>
<p>The first two years of high school, I felt like we had more control and input over his schedule so we could be more involved. The last two years, he was pretty much on his own and didn’t really listen to me anyway. When it came time for college apps, I was the administrative asst, keeping schedules, lists etc. </p>
<p>For him, he also has some challenges from anxiety, so we were more concerned with his ability to manage through that than we were about the disorganization, possible ADHD. As he has gotten older, the anxiety has become more manageable so he has been able to focus more on his executive function. He has said that the executive function support at college basically reinforces what I have been saying all along – keep a calendar, input all assignments in advance, block out study time etc. </p>
<p>One last thing, I did try to identify alternative type college programs where his erratic grades and testing wouldn’t matter so much. I discovered schools like Evergreen State, Colorado College and other schools with the block program, New College of Florida and even College of the Atlantic. As he moved through the process, those fell off the list, but it was very interesting to me to see the range of structures out there for college. </p>
<p>Good luck, and hang in there. </p>
<p>I am the mom of an extremely talented (not gifted) theatre student. He can memorize a show in no time flat, his part and everyone elses. He can recite reams of Shakespeare and make you understand the story, has won numerous competitions, can sing and dance…but was the MOST disorganized, scattered high school student on the face of the earth. He had a passion, and it was not school. Fast forward to college, he just finished his first semester of college (yes, he did get into a wonderful theatre program) and got all A’s and B’s without any help or assistance from me. So there is hope, for all these boys!!!</p>
<p>Midwestmomofboys, good point about the schools with different structures. One school on D2’s list was Carleton. they are on the trimester, so they usually only have 3 academic classes at a time with more hours/intensity and a shorter term. My D2 had block scheduling like that in high school, and I always thought it was much better for her than a regular 6-7 class schedule would have been. Carleton is a challenging school, but might be the right fit for the strong student who does better when can focus on just a few things in depth. We looked at the 3 week block colleges, too.</p>
<p>And photomom5, it isn’t just boys… 
Although I think there is an expectation that girls will be more organized, so that can be challenging for her.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone, boy can I relate to all of your stories. It feels good to know I’m not alone in this!</p>
<p>so, a question for anyone who’s kid actually DID go on meds…how do you know if the dose is the right dose? HOw do you know if it should be a little higher? I assume sideeffects help determine if the kid needs a lower dose… but my S just started on the lowest dose possible…and he “thinks” it is working a bit…but, I have to tell you, I am NOT noticing much of a difference. He still spends more time NOT doing work, and playing video games, then DOING work…although, he did spend a bit more time…but that’s like…15-20 minutes more time (which, don’t get me wrong, is ALOT in one sitting for him)</p>
<p>drmom – I don’t know the answer to that question about meds. I do know, almost 2 years later, my son has increased his dosage as he has built up some tolerance. The downside for him is that the meds decrease his appetite, and he is a slim guy to start with who needs to be reminded to eat. Did cut down on my diet coke purchases, as he no longer needs the caffeine. </p>
<p>Yeah, I will have a call in to the doctor tomorrow. He is noticing he’s not as hungry…and he says he really scores so much better on those darn video games…! I still have to get him to get off the game and to study…which is the whole origional issue!!! so, I’m thinking the dose is not enough… I’m not even sure he’s playing so much better, but he says he notices a difference. He also did read some things for his upcoming midterm and when asked, he said he thought it was “better, I didn’t zone out so much”…but he then said “I think I should double the dose for school”???</p>
<p>I do have a child on ADHD meds and it does take awhile to get the right dose. Ask the teachers what they see, they often have insight. My son absolutely knows when it is working or not working, and he is 12. My older theatre son did not like the meds, interfered with his acting, but did use them during finals period.</p>
<p>I guess I worry about just “switching” it up based on my kid’s opinion…but, in some ways…he’s the one who will know, huh?</p>
<p>I probably shouldn’t step into this conversation because i have fairly strong opinions about kids being on these ADHD drugs…that is, I believe a small subset can do well on them but that many many kids are on them who don’t need to be. In general, I’d reduce all diversions and distractions…wait a few months…and then see if the issues are still at a level that requires the drugs. It kills me to see all of my children’s friends…who i’ve known since 1st grade…on these medications. </p>
<p>southerhope: I don’t disagree with you. The Diagnosis is really quite rampant lately. We’ve done the waiting, and the observations etc. He’s so frustrated at this point, that he just wants to give up. I had him go through the 7 hour neuropsychological testing, the stuff no one does much any more because of the cost…but, I figured, if I am going to even consider the treatment options, I want to know the most about the diagnosis. So, for my S, it wasn’t just a quick form I got off the internet or something. But, you actually sound similar to my own way of thinking. I appreciate your input. thank you.</p>
<p>There are some great websites where you can get more information about gifted children, as many can be exceptionally bright, but disorganized. Check out <a href=“http://nagc.com”>http://nagc.com</a> and <a href=“http://hoagiesgifted.com”>http://hoagiesgifted.com</a> for general information. Some good blogs are <a href=“http://giftedexchange.com”>http://giftedexchange.com</a>, <a href=“http://giftedchallenges.com”>http://giftedchallenges.com</a>, and <a href=“http://giftedparentingsupport.com”>http://giftedparentingsupport.com</a>. There is also a great forum: <a href=“http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/”>http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/</a>. Good luck.</p>
<p>The Davidson website (last link maggiedog gave above) has a 2E section. However, I will say that the Davidson forum tends to be dominated by parents of younger kids – not as many teen parents out there, and a very small number with college aged kids.</p>
<p>OP- I have 3 “gifted” sons. The oldest is just disorganized. Very messy room, backpack crammed with stuff,
loses stuff… ugh. However he doesn’'t have ADHD just generally scatterbrained. However Middle DS does have ADHD same messy room, backpack crammed with stuff.loses stuff. Here is the difference though. When he’s not on his ADHD meds it can take 3 times as long to do homework because he keeps getting distracted. For example not on meds means he will be doing lots of pacing back and forth between between homework problems, start working on say math and then gets distracted and starts doing some else instead. It’s a lot more than just scatterbrained/disorganization. It’s worth having your son checked out. </p>
<p>drmom - DS is in 9th grade started meds in the fall. We could tell the meds were working within a few days because right away his grades in some classes went up because he was able to pay attention long enough to
hear the information needed. We are trying a higher dose now because he still misses some key instructions in 5th and 6th period. The doctor believes the meds maybe wearing off too soon. It’s only been a couple of weeks so we aren’t sure yet. However we haven’t noticed any bad side effects with the higher dose.</p>