<p>She should go to a cheap school for two years, then transfer to her 'dream school' - at least that would be a smart move financially. But oh well, for some it's better to enjoy those four years and pray that they are worth $100k. Regardless, don't get too caught up with marriage - people change a LOT throughout college.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Well sybbie I guess I have some bizzare form of metal retardation because I have been working with a lawyer on all of my debt, including my student loans. I have a feeling that I am speaking of something which maybe only applies to where I live? Or, that I am retarded.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>merlin,</p>
<p>I think in the long run you are going to find your self on the down side of this power dynamic for a long time to come.</p>
<ol>
<li>When you have consumer debt, companies will negotiate lesser payments in order to keep from writing the debt off as a bad debt and a loss to the company. However, when it comes to student loans, they already know that no matter what happens short of death (an even then they can place a lien against your estate) they are going to get paid.</li>
</ol>
<p>You are essentially paying a thrid party fees to do something that you can do for your self for free. When working with a credit management/ debt consolidation agency, they pay a service for their fees -between 35 and $50 per month until all of your debt is pair. Think about it; you are paying between $420 to 600 a year to a thrid party which is money you could be using to pay down your debt. If you tack you student loan debt on to this you could be paying a debt consolidation company for the same 10 year life of your student loan.</p>
<p>If you are having a problem with the holder of your student loans, because you can't or are late with payments, you would be better served to work directly with them and they will do the same thing for free which you are paying a lawyer to do for you. You can do the same thing with your consumer credit.</p>
<p>I paid a lawyer to assist me with all of my debt and that is all. For a one time only fee, the lawyer negotiated with all of my creditors, including my student loan holders. And, the lawyer assisted me with going on a budget. I pay all of my creditors directly (via vis the US Mail) at a fair rate and that is all. I am not making any payments to any third parties at all and I only had to pay the lawyer the one time. My credit was about as horrible as one could imagine and it was soo bad that I felt it would be best to actually hire a lawyer. I feel scads better than I used to with regards to my credit because I have a fair minded payoff plan for all of my debt and I no longer have creditors calling me.</p>
<p>It is possible to hire a lawyer, if you have horrible debt, and just plainly ask for assistance. There is no shame in that and it is possible that a lawyer will work with all of your creditors so that you can just start receiving statements from either your creditor or the bill collector which state that you owe $25.00 a month for "X" amount of months on your visa card or what have you. </p>
<p>I am still currently in school and since I am on the verge of reaching my loan limits, I am already making payments on all of my student loans under the income contingent payment plan.</p>
<p>All of these things are possible sibbie. I think that maybe there is some miscommunication going on because we both live in totally different areas of the country. But, it is alright because I mean no disrespect to you at all and I just kinda hope you know that.</p>
<p>The point of my post is that OP should at least know, in a humble fashion, that his future wife's debt is not as bad as he might think. Because, there are folks who can work with you, like the direct loan folks and whoever, eh.</p>
<p>No, it really IS that bad! :eek:</p>
<p>Thanks for the info merlinjones; however, other than this student loan, my girlfriend has no other debt. And, after further discussing the loan with her, things are not quite as bad as they seem. Essentially, her father is serving as a proxy. He's paying most of the loans, and my girlfriend will pay him a portion of that back. So, he is indeed helping her out with payments as well (contrary to what I said earlier). </p>
<p>But again, merlin, thank you for the info. I appreciate the help, and I'm sure the discussion that stemmed from this well help quite a few people out.</p>
<p>you mean this young lady withheld that info from you? The reality/or not of a 100k debt? Her subsequent career choice? Now you have more reasons to pause and re-think.....</p>
<p>good luck</p>
<p>What? Maybe you need to pause and re-read, eh? I never stated that she withheld anything from me; furthermore, if you would have read the entire discussion, you would have discovered that the debt is actually under control.</p>
<p>You should really know what to expect. The loans are in your gf's name. What if her father becomes unable to pay? What if they have a falling out and refuses to pay? You can really get into a situation where he holds the debt over her head to get her to act in a way he approves of (like "as long as I'm paying you loans, you will do it my way" kind of thing.)</p>
<p>Even if everything goes smoothly, I think you should minimally know what portion your gf is expected to repay, because it will become your debt, too.</p>
<p>merlinjones...nice advice, real nice. Borrow to the hilt, graduate, file bankruptcy. Then all us working stiffs will pay her debt for her! I am shocked that an adult on this forum would give that advice to a young person. It is truly disgusting and completely irresponsible.</p>
<p>If the loans are PLUS loans, they have been incurred by the parents and the parents are liable for repayment. Maybe they're some other type of loan that I've never heard of. (to the university, perhaps?)</p>
<p>Either way, if she's footing the repayment, let's hope she or OP has good earning potential.</p>
<p>baseballmom, I have not filed for any form of bankruptcy. And, I really feel that I must have accidentally been obtuse with my postings or something. </p>
<p>The point of my last post was that, if all else fails, one can speak with a trained professional for assistance with learning to budget money, different repayment plans for student loans, as well as different payment plans for credit card debt and what have you. There are lawyers out there who will just assist you in gaining control of your finances without having to even think of filing for any form of bankruptcy at all. Since OP sounds somewhat young, I was just trying to be nice and put that thought out there with regards to asking for professional advice, but not bankruptcy nor any form of bankruptcy.</p>
<p>So, I am therefore shocked that my fellow adults thought I was speaking of any form of bankruptcy because I am not at all and I think OP understood where I was coming from.</p>
<p>Gosh, there is nothing wrong with just speaking of taking control of your debt and seeking guidance from a trained professional so that you never have to think of filing for bankruptcy. That is the point of my posting in this thread and I am sorry that I was not really clear in that. </p>
<p>Trying your best to have the emotional maturity to obtain guidance from a trained professional and taking a proactive control of your debt beats any form of bankruptcy at all and I am sorry for not being more clear about my views and life experience with regards to finally taking control of my debt.</p>
<p>I do not believe in bankruptcy unless you (or someone really close to you) are literally too ill to work hard (or if you have had a bad tragedy befall you, like Hurricane Katrina), but I do believe in being responsible for all your debt and trying to seek guidance to control it and to keep on working hard.</p>
<p>I hope this clears things up. And, I apologize once again for not being really super clear in any of my previous postings.</p>
<p>ok, I misread merlinjones. Sounds like he is a student still incurring debt and not a parent. </p>
<p>Look, all of these students are adults legally. But, they aren't necessarily financially savvy. So, let's give SOUND advice. Borrow what you can afford to repay.</p>
<p>The OP has no legal or moral responsibility to repay his GF's or her parent's education debt. However, if he marries her, he will shoulder the repayment responsibility in that a large chunk of her income will go to loans rather than toward paying for a home, food, utilities, car, etc. That's real life.</p>
<p>merlin-our posts are crossing.</p>
<p>I jumped all over you as I read your posts as seeking bankruptcy protection and not a re-negotiation with creditors. If that's not what you meant, than sorry for the attack! There's a huge difference between new repayment plans and asking creditors to write-off debt. The writing-off is merely passed on to other consumers via higher finance rates.</p>
<p>So, your advice is worthwhile in that respect.</p>
<p>I would rather see GF take responsibililty and accountability for her debt BEFORE she incurs it! Don't purchase what you can't affort to pay for! Yes, most of us need to borrow for long-term assets, but approach that purchase with a full intent to repay.</p>
<p>"Either way, if she's footing the repayment, let's hope she or OP has good earning potential."</p>
<p>Seriously, for a website centered around Ivy League schools, the reading and comprehension skills here are sure at a minimum. We have the "stiff," baseballmom, raging in the corner, with claims not even valid to this discussion if she were to have read it in its entirety. And then we have other people just forming baseless opinions. Usually, if you decide to respond to a discussion, it is recommended that you have actually read what is being discussed.</p>
<p>Merlin, again, I appreciate all of the advice. I'm sure others will indeed benefit from it. Although I haven't been here long, you appear to be a great asset to this little community here.</p>
<p>Yeah,</p>
<pre><code>I was totally speaking of re negotiating any and all debt outside of the student loans. That is what I did with a lawyers guidance because I really needed a trained professional to speak on my behalf.
The lawyer I went to was nice in that my new payment plans for my outside debt work with a nice budget where I can still have a little extra each month to put in savings as well as to go to the bookstore or Target or where ever have you. I am ashamed to admit it, but prior to taking the bull by the horns, I would sometimes not pay any creditors because it would have eaten into my rent and utility payments, you know what I mean? So, I am grateful for finally being able to gain the emotional maturity to be responsible with my debt like how a grown adult ought.
This lawyer also told me about income contingent repayment plans for student loans and since I will have reached what I deem to be my own personal loan limit (but totally for tuition, I never got any extra money off of student loans) in the Spring, I am already making payments under the income contingent repayment plan for my student loans.
I would not have known of these things were it not for taking the bull by the horns and finally being an adult and taking a proactive approach to my debt. I only made these postings so that maybe OP could be helped and nothing more.
</code></pre>
<p>Wow, Heeby Jeeby, I've never been called a stiff or been described as "raging in the corner" "with claims not even valid to this discussion" because I'm giving sound financial advice!</p>
<p>Ok, I'll tell you what you want to hear:
It's wonderful that your GF's debt is approaching 100K. Tell her to keep borrowing and borrowing and as for you, don't even give it another thought. </p>
<p>Better? :)</p>
<p>"Seriously, for a website centered around Ivy League schools..."</p>
<p>not so.</p>
<p>"...the reading and comprehension skills here are sure at a minimum."</p>
<p>Agreed.</p>
<p>baseballmom, again, please heed the advice from my previous post. Then, possibly, we can consider your replies as legitimate to the discussion.</p>
<p>I see what baseballmom is getting at. A dissenting opinion is disregarded or tossed aside as baseless. Heeby, you started the thread with what readers had to presume were the facts. After a few posts that were apparently contrary to your preference, you changed the circumstances(of the loan). Post #25 indicates you just got more information. It may be she withheld all facts from you, and as soon as you were made aware, you altered things here. If thats the case, then yes, she withheld info from you.
It may be just that you didn't seek all the facts when you presented the question here and asked opinions. Then while this thread was going on, you made us aware of the changes. If that is the case, then your initial question was not vaild, because it did not relay to us all relevant facts.
I think all would agree 100k is a lot of school debt, but there are so many more factors to account for after that. How employable will this education make her? What do you reasonably expect her initial income to be? What about in 2 yrs? in 5? in 10? Do you expect to incur any debts together? Cars? Boat? house? vacation? I don't need to know the answers to those, but you two do. Considering marriage, we all come with baggage. In this case, while you might not be saddled legally with her debt, you would be limited by it. Every dollar she must re-pay is a dollar you two don't have to spend or save together. Is it worth it? Only you can answer that........</p>