Parents wanting me to get loans

<p>Okay, this isn't all that bad, but I would appreciate some people on this board talking me through this to make sure I've got everything under control.</p>

<p>I go to a private southern LAC, the most expensive in my state. After scholarships, both through the school, the state, the county, and other local institutions my tuition amounts to $10-12k per year including room and board. My parents paid that all of last year including my car insurance and cell phone. I pay for books, gas, extra food, etc. through the limited amount of work I'm able to do (limited to summer/Christmas break because of swimming).</p>

<p>This past weekend I went home and my parents told me they're struggling financially. My dad has been out of a job for almost two years right now, and is not currently looking for one though he has in the past. My mom is making a less salary, with an even less bonus. I know they've hit relatively tough financial times and I've had dreams and thoughts about how bad it could be.</p>

<p>My parents sprung on me they want me to take out $7k/year in loans through the Stafford program. The loans would be unsubsidized, and basically I would end up with about ~$20k in debt. So could any of you guys talk me through my situation? I know that people graduate with that much debt all the time, but is there any way I could reason with my parents? My dad just bought an Expedition and my mom owns a Mercedes that she bought 2 1/2 years ago. </p>

<p>I just really need some advice, on whether I fight this, or whether I should cocentrate my efforts on my own. Thanks to anyone who listened.</p>

<p>$20,000 in debt is very reasonable - sorry
I think students should make a financial contribution to their education.</p>

<p>Earning $3,000 summer towards tuition and earning money through a school year job for personal expenses including books is expected in our house- not including taking out Stafford loans.
Of course my kids have limited their expenses by not having cars- no gas, insurance, repairs etc.</p>

<p>If your dad has been unemployed for two years, I think that you should not expect them to be able to continue to pay what they did last year- if they are able - great, but keep the economy in mind.</p>

<p>I agree with emeraldkity4, it is NOT your parents responsibility to help you pay for college. That's why the government have most loans in YOUR name.</p>

<p>Get a job, apply for scholarships...give your parents a break. You're an adult now.</p>

<p>Yes I do realize this and thanks for the advice. I wasn't expected to contribute originally because my parents gave me an amount that they would foot originally and then I had to pay the rest, but I had enough in scholarships to this school to make it within their original bounds (same as room/board to State U.) </p>

<p>A couple questions though:</p>

<p>You're saying I should earn $3,000 during the summer to schooling, but how much would that be total? (i.e. to cover gas, food, etc.)</p>

<p>And does someone have a link to more info on unsubsidized Stafford loans (the ones I'd be applying for)?</p>

<p>I know I can make a decent amount of money 6 months out of the year, but the other 6 months I'm in swimming and can only work 1 night a week and over breaks.</p>

<p>I'll be sure to start my job search immediately after swimming! To be honest it's liberating to think I'll be only connected to my parents by $3-4k/year and I know $20k is a perfectly reasonable debt load, but it was just a lot to just "spring" on me (they really did).</p>

<p>Your father has been unemployed for two years, your mother's salary has decreased, and you can't work because of swimming?? Wake up and smell the coffee, kid. We're now in the worst economic downturn our generation has ever seen. Unless your scholarships are tied to your participation as a swimmer, GET OUT OF THE POOL, dry off and get a job! Swimming is a luxury you can no longer afford.</p>

<p>Your parents have probably been struggling with this for a long time, and probably have been trying to figure out the best way to break the news to you. If they could have come up with any way to do so that didn't feel like "springing", I'm sure they would have.</p>

<p>We are at the very beginning of a global financial crisis that is going to last for several years. You aren't the first, and you certainly won't be the last, student to find out that his/her parents just can't pay what they promised/hoped/planned to pay. $20k as you say is perfectly reasonable for a debt load. What you need to figure out is what kind of job you can get to help reduce your debt load. Do you have a scholarship for your swimming? If not, you may want to re-consider that time commitment. Since you are at the pool all the time anyway, can you find a part-time job there (lifeguarding, assistant swim instructor, pool maintenance)?</p>

<p>For all things financial, I'd say start at FinAid</a>! Financial Aid, College Scholarships and Student Loans You should be able to get the basic facts about Stafford loans there.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>FSA</a> Portals <--- federal student aid web site</p>

<p>Lifeguarding pays very well- & it would be a time saver if you want to swim recreationally cause you are always at the pool.
Great summer job.
My daughter is currently training so that she is a good enough swimmer to be a lifeguard.</p>

<p>Well thank you guys for all the advice, the links look great, and yes I'm reconsidering everything I'm doing for the remaining 2 1/2 years of college (swimming, where to live, etc.) I probably should have made it a little clearer that my mom was the breadwinner in the family to begin with and although my dad has lost his job our family could still be considered upper-middle class. We're still living in the same house and driving the same SUVs. I didn't realize my mom's salary had decreased that much until she told me, but let me just reiterate that I know their EFC would still be more than my bills so that's why I was a little caught off guard when they told me this. It also came at an already really stressful time so that's why I worried a little more than I should.</p>

<p>As far as job goes, I'm going to career services tomorrow to figure out what I could do for a work-study. Whether it's at the pool or not is a non-issue because our campus is so small that you could get anywhere in 5-10 minutes. I was going to run for an exec board position in my fraternity but I'm not going to now so I'll have that extra couple nights free during the week to hopefully wait tables. I'm working over Thanksgiving and Christmas, so that will help pull in money until swimming ends, and I have a lot saved from the summer. Swimming's almost over for the year (ends in mid-February) so I don't want to quit at this point. I'm going to look for jobs at the start of next semester to have one lined up for after it ends at hopefully a decent restaurant close to school. </p>

<p>Thanks again though, I'm just going to keep counting my blessings and take it one step at a time.</p>

<p>"....I know their EFC would still be more than my bills so that's why I was a little caught off guard when they told me this."</p>

<p>The hard, cold, truth is that for most families, the EFC is more than they can comfortably pay out of pocket each year. For most colleges and universities the EFC includes an implicit understanding that parents will do anything - take out loans, cash in all of their savings, sell the dog, etc. - in order to have their child study at that particular college or university. If/when parents have run through their reserves, or if they are unable/unwilling to take out loans, cash in all of their savings, sell the dog, etc. chances are that their EFC has not changed one little bit.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, not all parents are ready, willing, and able to be completely straight with their kids about finances until things get serious. Please, do yourself and your parents a big favor, and help them learn how to talk with you about finances now. That way there will be fewer surprises in the future.</p>

<p>You should realize that when you begin repaying loans, you can choose a variety of repayment plans and spread that 20 grand over 30 years if you really wanted to. You could make the amount you pay on your loans close to negligible for many years and pay it all off with a home equity loan when you are in your thirties. I wouldn't stress out too much about this.</p>

<p>You were lucky your parents paid your tuition, room and board last year. It is not at all unreasonable for your parents to expect you to carry part of the load, and $7,000 a year is really not much in the scheme of things. I would not try to "reason" with them; they've told you what they want you to do and it is reasonable. FWIW, I came out of school with $21,000 in student loans 25 years ago (it'd be a lot more in current dollars) and paying it back really was not a problem. Mine had to be repaid over 10 years, but I'm pretty sure that these days you can spread it out over a much longer period. If they were expecting you to incur $25,000 a year in student loans or something like that, my advice would be completely different, but for the amount you're talking about, just take the loan. I think your plan to get a job is a good one, but even if you can't make all that much, I wouldn't be too concerned about $20,000 of debt at the end of the day.</p>

<p>I know that this is a disappoint for you, but $20k in debt isn't that awful. You will just have to put off some of the luxuries for a few years. In the past ... like when I was young ... people didn't have all that much starting out. We survived! You will, too, and you'll appreciate things that much more after you get your debts paid off. Be thankful that your parents were able to pay what they did for as long as they did. Be thankful that your debt load is relatively manageable. You'll be fine.</p>

<p>yeah but that's 20k for ONE YEAR. He will still have to pay another 14k(plus interest) for Junior and Soph year. Do you not qualify for additional aid?</p>

<p>Where do you get that he would have $20k for one year? The OP said he would have to take out $7k a year and would end up with @ $20k total debt. Not bad.</p>

<p>
[quote]
My parents sprung on me they want me to take out $7k/year in loans through the Stafford program. The loans would be unsubsidized, and basically I would end up with about ~$20k in debt.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>To the OP. It seems quite reasonable that you contribute toward your schooling. You could also work in the summer and part time in the school year to reduce the debt load. Between a full time summer job and a part time job (12 hours a week) in the school year by daughter will earn @ $6-7k this year which helps her avoid taking on much debt (she will have less than $4k at the end of sophomore year and probably not much than that when she graduates).</p>

<p>Erhswimming, your parents have gone out of their way to help you. You are an adult and no longer their responsibility. For you to think that you have the right to fight them on whether they help your with college or not is arrogant, selfish and greedy. How can you have such expectation without concern for the well being of your family? </p>

<p>Doesn't it bother you in any way that your dad has been out of work for so long? That your mom has a decrease in salary? What would you like for them to do for you? Perhaps sell their home and line in squalor in a roach infested apartment in the local slums? What are you doing to help them?</p>

<p>When all is said and done, what are you going to do to repay them for the help they gave you?</p>

<p>You're lucky you ain't my kid. Once you hit 18, you hit the road. No paying for college, no buying you new toys, none of that.</p>