Give this student some advice on getting over the past and going into the future...

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi everyone,</p>

<p>I'm currently a rising junior at Boston College with a GPA that's not exactly stellar. I'm uncertain about the future and haunted by the past.</p>

<p>It stems from a certain family member's guilt tripping about my academic progress. Let me explain:</p>

<p>Back when I was a senior in high school and knew NOTHING about colleges, majors, etc. (didn't have a great "college counselor", either), I applied to a bunch of different colleges. All I thought I was supposed to do was "go to the 'best' one you get into". That's how I decided on BC.</p>

<p>One of the others I was accepted to was URI Pharmacy.</p>

<p>Remember, I was young and naive back then, so I just thought I should forego URI Pharmacy for BC. All because BC was "better".</p>

<p>Now, mind you, I didn't exactly love URI, but it wasn't that bad, either.</p>

<p>Fast forward a year. I get an embarrassingly bad GPA after my freshman year and literally couldn't transfer anywhere. (Where it is now - that was actually because of IMPROVEMENT in sophomore year! That's how bad it was.)</p>

<p>No, I wasn't partying. If you want to know what it was that held me back, it was in part psychological issues, as detailed elsewhere on College Confidential.</p>

<p>Now here's the really bad part: a certain family member keeps telling me, "You won't get to any good graduate schools anymore! (...even though I still have faith in myself) WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME and didn't choose to go to URI Pharmacy?"</p>

<p>This makes me feel - to put it simply - like crap. I hate guilt trips, and it's literally giving me nightmares.</p>

<p>What's worse is that my cousins actually knew what they were doing (to me anyway, I must have some kind of inferiority complex) in terms of college applications and went to "lesser-named" schools, but those with engineering - which are actually "good" majors with or without graduate school afterwards.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, I'm stuck trying to get out of this "pre-med delusion" and pick up the pieces while I'm getting an earful.</p>

<p>I'm just trying to get on with my life. But I'm still trying to figure out what to do. Sigh...</p>

<p>But did I really make a poor decision back then? How do I keep it from haunting me?</p>

<p>(But if you think about it, it's quite absurd to assume you're supposed to know, automatically, everything about what you're supposed to do with your life at the age of 18...)</p>

<p>(Yes, if it seems like I have an inferiority complex, I probably do. But I need to vent.)</p>

<ul>
<li>Soarer</li>
</ul>

2

<p>your taking things people say way to seriously. just do your thing man, forget what people are tellin yea. </p>

<p>Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly</p>

3

<p>No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Stop listening to this relative. When he starts, you say, “Thank you for your opinion. I am not having this conversation again. How about those Red Sox?” If he persists, leave/hang up. You can also ask him, “What makes you think I would have done better at URI? I’d have taken the same courses and probably done the same thing.”</p>

<p>Taking control of your reaction to this relative’s rants will make you feel better about yourself. That’s the first step.</p>

<p>Many kids have trouble during their first year; it’s not the end of your career. Get yourself to the academic support center and talk to them. If you don’t want to be a doctor, or aren’t sure, drop pre-med. Find something that interests you. College is not vocational school. You don’t know, and shouldn’t know, what you want to do at 18. Besides, no career choice is final - I have two graduate degrees in different areas and am on my third career. I still haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up!</p>

<p>Get the relative out of your head and march into the future.</p>