Giving drunk roommates the cold shoulder?

College Life
41

<p>I don’t blame the OP for being frustrated with his housing situation. He’s stuck in a room where 3 people have decided to disregard the feelings of the 4th. To be the odd man out in a room with 4 people sets up a bad environment for the OP. He’s stuck in a situation beyond his control. I really don’t think the OP has a problem with people who socialize and drink on the weekends. I think he does have a problem with people who take over the dorm room as if he’s not even a part of the room. </p>

<p>I think a lot of the people on this thread are missing the point and not understanding the OP’s sarcasm in his use of the words “cold shoulder”. In order to make rooming with random people successful, there needs to be compromise. Why do so many people on this thread feel that the only one needing to compromise is the OP? </p>

<p>The OP has a right to feel disgusted with his situation. Dealing with 3 other people in a room is difficult even under the best conditions. Dealing with 3 other people who have little respect for his feelings must be miserable. Imagine—day in and day out--------
3 against 1.</p>

<p>OP–I don’t think there’s any easy way to solve your housing situation. Maybe you can find someone in your dorm who would be willing to switch with you. If you notice the same few guys hanging out with your roommates in the room, ask them if any of them would like to switch rooms with you. Usually, dorm directors allow for room switches between people in the dorm.</p>

42

<p>^ To be fair, I think most of us sympathize. However, when he says that he wouldn’t even help someone if they were dying, it strikes a nerve. People have a right to be ticked about that.</p>

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<p>OP Posted: “Now obviously if they’re KO’d on the floor from drinking I’ll report it (can’t have a body lying on the floor and act like there’s nothing wrong)…”</p>

<p>He never said that he would leave someone to die. My goodness, can’t anyone on this thread understand sarcasm? The OP is trying to say that he will call for help if it appears that his roommates are in dire straights. However, it’s not his responsibility to hold their heads over the toilet as they puke their guts out from choosing to binge drink. It’s not his responsibility to clean up after them. It’s not his responsibility to spend his nights staying up and nursing his drunk roommates through the puking, bed spins, and headaches.</p>

<p>He’s not saying that drinking and socializing are wrong. He’s trying to say that his roommates choice to binge drink is their choice and the consequences of their choice to binge drink should not be placed on his shoulders. That’s it–nothing more.</p>

<p>It must be terrible to be stuck in a room with 3 other people who don’t give a crap about your feelings—three people who have no intention of compromising with the 4th person. The 3 roommates have taken over the room.</p>

44

<p>TY posters nysmile, withlovemegan and AtheistsUnite for understanding me. But of the three nysmile really gets me.</p>

<p>You guys actually think that I’m going to let someone die in my sight? I clearly stated that I wouldn’t as quoted by nysmile. I’m venting my anger textually instead of physically. Like I’ve also stated, I’m not against people who drink but drink in moderation. Is there any reason to buy a 40 case and drink half of it in one night? My other gripe, like nysmile has touched, is the leaving me out part. It’s bad enough that I’m having trouble making friends, it’s even worse when I can’t be friends with my own rooommates. While having roommates who drink isn’t a unique situation, having roommates who drink who don’t care to interact with you bc you choose not to drink is. Right now I hate this school (except academics <3), hate it’s student body and is definately transfering the hell out of here. And no I’m not transfering because of this situation (obvi there’s drinking/situations like this in every school), my reasons for transfering extend beyond this. But anyways, yeah. I’ve never been more miserable in my life and this is supposed to be the “time of your life.” Even HS wasn’t this horrible and I hated HS!</p>

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<p>Well, I think this is ridiculous. Sadcollegestud, you make a thread and then proceed to make a point that people are going to disagree with (somehow implying that you would not help a drunk roommate in trouble - even if you mean that you really would, you know full well that you seem like you absolutely would not) then whenever people give their opinions (which are 100% JUST AS VALID as yours) you attack them and reply to everyone, deciding whether or not they are deluded or they “get you.” </p>

<p>Hi, guess what, you come across as a totally judgmental, uncaring *******. People aren’t going to be like “great job on not caring about other people and only caring about myself.” You also don’t own this thread and people aren’t horrible for caring about others who have put themselves in a possibly deadly situation, even if those others put themselves there.</p>

<p>This really ****es me off, but maybe it’s just because I care about other human beings and I help them, even if they have gotten themselves into their own predicaments. Anything else to me seems callous, cold, and ridiculous.</p>

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<p>I think most of this thread has been a misunderstanding. It’s partly the OPs fault for hinting that he wouldn’t “dial 911”, but he did say that he would call for help if there’s someone in danger in front of him. I think we should take his word here and just let this part of the argument go.</p>

<p>So, as it’s been said, the OP is perfectly right to want to avoid these drunk events and have nothing to do with them. It’s not his job to plan his life to baby-sit them, but at the same time keep in mind it’s not “playing doctor” to call 911 when someone is dying in front of you - so I suggest to sadcollegestud to STOP using that phrase unless he wants to come off as total idiot.</p>

<p>As to getting fed up with it, what’s your school’s policy on this? In some schools, if you call the RA’s every time they party in your suite/room, they’ll be expelled after a few strikes.</p>

<p>If they’re getting as dangerously drunk as you seem to say, and they won’t stop even after you’re asking/warning them - CALL THE RA’S. I don’t see what the problem is beyond this, unless your dorm allows underage drinking or something.</p>

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<p>^OP, do you even know what dangerously drunk is? Are they harming you? Are they blacking out? Are they physically injuring themselves? If not, then just leave them alone. RAs are NOT going to solve anything and are only going to isolate you further from the rest of your roommate. </p>

<p>And please, don’t expect to be friends with your roommates - they sound like creepos anyways. You just have to make sure you can co-exist peacefully. You do know that there are thousands of kids at your university - and it is still so early in the year, don’t say that you want to transfer so early when you barely have even gone out and tried to meet others in classes, clubs/organizations etc. Yes - there are kids who make their best friends in college right away. But seriously, you are not alone. Many students take a few weeks or even months to get adjusted. Don’t give up hope, and don’t have a nasty attitude towards your school so early otherwise you are going to be severely limiting the friendships you may make in the future.</p>

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<p>i guess this is a good way to treat a roommate if u dont want to be a friend. although not helping a roommate when there is a serious threat to their safety is pretty bad.</p>

49

<p>Part of the college experience is learning to deal with people who have different backgrounds than your own. If that means learning to negotiate, compromise or request a room transfer, then that’s the lesson.</p>

<p>That said, I do hope you are not planning a career in healthcare, law, government or any type of human service if this will be your attitude to those who make stupid decisions and require assistance. Maybe it would behoove you to take a course in ethics.</p>

<p>Only acknowledging like-minded people shows the same immaturity as those whom you are complaining. Sometimes it is the people you disagree with who have the most to teach you.</p>

50

<p>This roommate is a bro. You should respect him.</p>

51

<p>"wlm ftw.</p>

<p>Maybe I should go out and “socialize” like tiff90. Maybe I’ll get **** drunk to the point where I choke on my vomit. Getting ****ed drunk ftw!!!"</p>

<p>Regular drinkers rarely puke. I’ve drank for about 6 years, on a regular basis the past 3 (typically 2-4 nights) and have thrown up a total of 3 times. Once being the first time I drank, which doesn’t really count. Basically, throwing up if you drink often is not common. Even when people black out. </p>

<p>There was only 1 time a friend of mine puked at a party, and it was because there was pink panty droppers, which is a really strong, yet masked drink, and she rarely drank.</p>

<p>I really don’t really understand why you would assume socializing equates to drinking. Just because I drink, doesn’t mean I drink everytime I do something social. Drinking is okay, but it really is just a way to kick back and relax, not to get crazy blackout drunk.</p>

<p>I feel like you are the type of person who think that people who binge drink twice a week (let’s be honest, the guideline for binge drinking are pretty low) are alcoholics. Jeeze, that type of arrogance is probably why you are so unhappy, you probably judge people easily if you assume everyone drinks 1) to get drunk 2) to the point of puking. Maybe it’s my group of friends or my school, but most people know their limits and drink responsibly, and never puke. </p>

<p>A lot of people in college drink, get over it. People do it to have fun, to relieve stress and have a good time. Yes, some people cross the line, but most don’t. If you are so offended by alcohol, go to a dry school like Brigham Young or a military academy. Or you could grow up and be more open minded. </p>

<p>E07:</p>

<p>I really don’t understand how I made a “generalization” about anyone. I think you are being overly sensitive, and are looking to either get offended or demean people that drink. If you get a kick out of that, more power to you.</p>

<p>It really is starting to feel like people on here aren’t the most social people, and are a bit high strung.</p>

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<p>so far at school not to many people i know have gotten really sick. only a couple people, but they werent completely out of control, and they didnt like puke in the middle of a party. i know of one girl who has gotten crazy drunk several times, to the point there at 9 pm saturday night they had to call campus police to come because she was so bad. those people are stupid. i drink every weekend and some weekdays now, and over the last couple years i have a decent amount. only once have a gotten sick just because of alcohol and against my will. a couple other times i have just made myself, which i prob shouldnt have cuz i know i wouldnt have gotten sick other wise, or there were other factors that i wouldnt have gotten sick without if they werent involved. its all about learning your limits. i usually can count my drinks, and i know about how many i can handle, but if i lose count i have a good feel for when i should stop.</p>

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<p>If the person constantly ****ed me off and created unlivable conditions for me, then I would let them choke on their own vomit. Of course, this is assuming that there would be no legal burdens on my shoulder as a result.</p>

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<p>I love how people try to say the only reason they drink is to relax and have a good time. The reason people drink is to get some ass, because a) it’s easy when people are drunk, or b) they’re to ■■■■■■■■ to while sober, or c) because they want to escape something. And btw I drink…so don’t come at me with the you just have a bias against people who drink b.s., because I don’t, I’m just telling you the truth. But go ahead people, keep trying to rationalize your drinking. Whatever puts you to sleep at night.</p>

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<p>AtheistsUnite - Then why do you drink? :stuck_out_tongue:
i hate how people make such a big deal out of drinking. either do it or dont. dont b.itch about it and make threads how you’d let your roommates die.</p>

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<p>Abc…</p>

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<p>“I really don’t really understand why you would assume socializing equates to drinking. Just because I drink, doesn’t mean I drink everytime I do something social.”</p>

<p>I never said socializing equates to drinking tiff tiff. I was being sarcastic since you said you “smoke and drink.” </p>

<p>“I feel like you are the type of person who think that people who binge drink twice a week (let’s be honest, the guideline for binge drinking are pretty low) are alcoholics.”</p>

<p>Please don’t assume things about me, and I won’t assume things about you. Like I’ve told a girl at a party who asked me if I drink, I said “No I don’t drink; but never say never” I’m not opposed to drinking and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Like you said, it could be a great way to communicate, have fun, socialize, etc. However, I will drink (or not drink for that matter) when I’m ready to. I’m not going to be sucked into peer pressure and the “0MG2Z WUNNA DRINK2Z 4 DUH 1ST T1M31!111.”</p>

<p>“A lot of people in college drink, get over it.”</p>

<p>Thank you Captain Obvious. Did you know college has 7 letters in it?</p>

<p>“you could grow up and be more open minded.”</p>

<p>I am open minded. You just don’t know my roommates. It’s easy for you to read this and feel “I’m being a big meanie to my roommates” when you don’t have to go through what I go through.</p>

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<p>Whatever you do, sadcollegestud, just DONT LET THEM DIE!!</p>

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<p>"
I really don’t understand how I made a “generalization” about anyone. I think you are being overly sensitive, and are looking to either get offended or demean people that drink. If you get a kick out of that, more power to you."</p>

<p>When have I ever said anything to demean people that drink? And I am oversensitive?</p>

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<p>I’ve never had a roommate come back wasted, and I would never do that to my roommate no matter how sick I was (I wouldn’t ever get that sick, but if I did I would call 911 or my friends).</p>

<p>I wouldn’t give a roommate the cold shoulder like that though. Every time that someone came back pretty sick our whole floor would help out, get water/food, clean up, and they would usually sleep in the common area with a trash can right next to them. I thought this method worked well so not one person got so ****ed feeling like they had responsibility heaped on them. I guess this works better with a close floor, but I would try to build a support group so not one person is taking care of this person.</p>

<p>Also, this way the person usually doesn’t repeat that because of not wanting to let the floor down by making them continuously clean up after them.</p>