<p>So, I'm very easy to get along with...never problems sharing rooms or communicating with other roommates. But, this time I have the exact opposite roommate.</p>
<p>He drinks and smokes..he brought some alcohol to our room....he's not drinking it but i'm sure he will. He's underaged!</p>
<p>I'm ok with him smoking, and not caring about school at all...but I'm in a school that has frequent police visits at any time of day, and alcohol i strictly forbidden even though it's not mine. Who knows what else he has hidden.</p>
<p>So I definitely do not want to share a room with someone like that if I don't have too.</p>
<p>** The problem is that I love the room, it's perfect and I just don't feel like moving everything again....and it would be awkward if I stayed in the same dorm hall...you know :S</p>
<p>How to explain that to him? Is it possible to get a different room but in the same dorm? would you recommend that? Any advice??</p>
<p>I would call the police or police services at your school and point out the alcohol. Keep reporting it. </p>
<p>Personally, I have a firm stance on drinking underage, smoking, and partying all the time. I’m paying money to go to college to learn. If there is something prohibiting me from doing that, I need to change it. In this case, I would report him. I don’t think it is fair that you should have to move somewhere else because your roommate is a rule breaker.
I don’t think it is a big deal that you have a class together, at the end of the day what matters if you are learning.</p>
<p>Maybe I came off a bit harsh. Tell him you do want anything illegal in your room. If he continues, just keep calling police/housing services. If they are anything like my college, they will move them out.</p>
<p>He will probably remove it, because we don’t know each other…but seriously if someone even thinks about stuff like that and let alone does it, I just don’t want to be a part of it, and you are if you share rooms.</p>
<p>But I have to do something, because this guy is completely screwed!</p>
<p>Does he drink/smoke in the room? Does he come back drunk or make the room smell like cigarettes? Just trying to ascertain to what extent this is negatively affecting you. My response would be different if he actually drank/smoke in the room as opposed to doing it elsewhere. Not that you should have to tolerate having illegal substances in the room, but it would change the situation a bit.</p>
<p>It’s the second day since we moved in…so not yet, but he didn’t bring it in for no reason i’m sure. Do I want it to negatively affect me? I thought it was better to prevent than treat…</p>
<p>No I wasn’t saying it should negatively affect you. My point was to say that there’s a different between preventing an issue and resolving an issue (although this may already be one if he’s brining alcohol back by the SECOND night…)</p>
<p>Are you uncomfortable with the alcohol in the room if he doesn’t plan to drink it in the room? If not, then I would suggest just trying to talk to him about setting some quick ground rules and mentioning “I don’t want any drinking or smoking in here.” He’ll hopefully understand that.</p>
<p>If you are uncomfortable with alcohol in the room, you can either try to directly tell him that (very difficult, I know) or talking to your RA. Tell him/her that your roommate has alcohol in the room and you are not okay with that. She can either talk to him or maybe even do a quick “room check” and “accidentally” find it or something. But I would mention it to him first when you say you don’t want drinking and smoking in the room. Just say something like, “Oh, and I know you just got that whiskey, but I don’t really want anything illegal like that in the room.” You can mention that you could also get in legal trouble if it’s found in there (not sure if that’s true.) Sorry you have to deal with the situation. Roommate issues suck!</p>
<p>Just letting you know that it’s very likely that your new roommate will be the same way if you decide to switch. It’s college. People use substances. Get used to it.</p>
<p>I think’s it’s good to have some ground rules in your room, and let your roommate know about it. I’d wait for the week to be over, and if he kept on drinking/smoking (or having the substances) by the next Monday…then I would go and inform the RAs or housing staff. If you are not comfy with the situation, you should talk it over with the roommate, and go seek more help if it does not get resolved quickly.</p>
<p>I spent 5 weeks during the summer living in a dorm suite, getting ahead with a summer course. I had 2 roommates and both of them are seniors and 20 (one turned 20 in Jul), they are not 21 yet I do believe. The had a fridge with Bud Light beer cans, but I was fine with it. They drank at night and only 2 cans max a day…plus it’s summer and they work in the day, so whatever.</p>
<p>But what I’m saying is…do whatever you feel you are comfy with.</p>
<p>Review your dorm housing policy. I know it will state no alcohol in minors room. Does he smoke in the room?? Do his cloths and bedding reek of smoke? Did you ask for a non-smoking room mate? I would talk with him and just tell him that you don’t want any alcohol in the room. If he doesn’t comply, report him to the RA. I know you don’t want to move your room, (and shouldn’t have to), but does the campus have a health and wellness dorm?</p>
<p>I agree. If he was coming back every night throwing up, getting violent, or using drugs in the room, I could understand. But it is EXTREMELY common to keep alcohol in your room. I know that you’re in a new environment and stuff, but you’ll soon realize that many, many people have alcohol or even pot in their closet or under their bed or in their underwear drawer. Choose your battles. You don’t want to be <em>that</em> person who starts their first week of college by tattling on their roommate for being a normal college student, especially if you’re going to be seeing him around in class. Just talk to him about keeping his habits under control.</p>
<p>Again, as people have mentioned, sometimes everyone in the room can be responsible if even one person has alcohol. It’s not always the case, but it’s a very legitimate concern. And knowing what I know now, I would not let my roommate keep weed in my dorm/apartment. It’s unbelievably easy to be “guilty by association” with marijuana.</p>
<p>And regardless of how common it is, it’s still against the school’s policies. If someone is uncomfortable with their roommate going against the school’s policies, it should be the law-breaker who has to change his behavior, not the other way around.</p>
<p>While alcohol may be common in dorms, you shouldn’t have to be around it if you don’t want to. Don’t feel bad about talking to your RA or reporting them.</p>
<p>I think this is a conversation that should be between you and the roommate before you go to an RA or before you report him to anyone higher up. Like others have mentioned, keeping alcohol in dorms is very common and if he doesn’t know you have an issue with it, then he will keep doing it. You really don’t want to start the year off by being “that person” and telling an RA about the roomie and his alcohol before you even that that conversation with him yet.</p>
<p>Also, if he’s not smoking in the room, there’s not a lot you can do about that. Smells linger,to be sure, but if it isn’t in the room or in the dorms and is happening elsewhere on university property, that’s their problem. You can buy sprays or ask him to buy air freshners but that’s about it.</p>
<p>JeSuis, I agree. However, requesting a roommate change in the first few days of school is somewhat of a rash action. If I was his roommate, I’d feel totally bemused and fairly betrayed. I think the OP is a little naive* and needs to realize that it isn’t an uncommon issue in the slightest, and before he takes a relatively drastic measure, he should be assured that it’s not an enormous deal and it can definitely be talked out with the roommate before he goes behind his back and requests an immediate room change. He could get his roommate in major trouble, get a reputation as a tattletale, make things extremely awkward on his floor, etc. Not that it’s necessarily deserved, but we need to be realistic about the consequences here.</p>
<p>*Sorry if that sounds patronizing but it’s the truth. I was the same way when I moved in-- I’m not a partier at ALL and when I saw people blatantly pregaming in their rooms, I was shocked. I’ll give an example: the first night in my room, a group of strangers from my floor knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to join them in a cab going to some frat party. I said no and was thinking, like, “that is so weird, I don’t even know those people, I’m not going to some strange random party with them” but soon I realized that was a really common occurrence. You just need to get used to the atmosphere.</p>
<p>Oh, I wasn’t saying he should switch rooms. I just think that if he doesn’t want alcohol in the room, he shouldn’t have to have it in there. Hopefully his roommate understands that and there doesn’t need to be a room switch. A good compromise might be saying you’re okay with alcohol (in a closed container) in the room as long as he does not drink or smoke in the room at all. But, like I said, if you’re not okay with a closed container in the room I personally think that’s reasonable as well.</p>
<p>I do agree though that getting used to the drinking/partying atmosphere is a part of college (not necessarily a good or a bad thing, just an observation.) A lot of people will do it, so you should try not to be too uptight about it (not saying you are. In fact is seems like you’re pretty level-headed about the whole thing.)</p>
<p>Well, first off, some colleges do allow alcohol in dorm rooms- just not outside dorms. OP needs to carefully check the school’s policy, usually in the student handbook. </p>
<p>OP doesn’t have to take drastic action, get the guy kicked out. (What if he complains and no authority finds booze?) He can simply talk to an RA or dorm director (if there is one.) He can focus on preferring a roommate who doesn’t smoke, doesn’t carry the scent back to the room. He can ask for a roommate who also prefers quiet. I’d guess that, even at the wildest school, there will be some available. </p>
<p>Sure, he can be frank with the guy that he plans to study, wants quiet, isn’t comfortable with booze around- even ask if the guy would prefer another who shared his style. Broach it that way. But, at a school with cops walking through (or was it campus security?) maybe his concerns are legit.</p>