Giving up - lost dreams

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi, I decided to post this in the parents forum because we all know you give good advice, and I am currently at a loss at what to do. Also, I thought it could be possible that one of your children as been through this before. I am on this website under another name, but I made this new one because this problem felt too personal to post beneath my other name. Sorry for the length of this post, but I feel there's a lot I need to say.</p>

<p>I have always dreamt of playing my sport in college. I've poured in years of practices, hard work, training, reps, tears, and dreams. Unfortunately, as my senior year of hs comes to a close and my season has ended, I realize that it's not going to happen. there's no way, I wasn't even a starter on my own team. I'm strugglig to accept this failure and move on. I'm not terribly depressed, but I am disappointed and full of regrets: if only I worked harder, if only I had another year, if only... I have somewhat lost my appetite and still feel like crying just thinking about it. I can't concentrate on my schoolwork anymore (though I am a second-semseter senior, so that could be why ;) Do I simply need to give it more time to sink in? Any fans of Gilmore Girls out there? I kind of feel like Rory when she was told she couldn't be a great journalist - it led to her dropping out of Yale...</p>

<p>So I am having trouble letting go.... So I got to thinking about walking on. I realize it would never happen at some of the schools I have applied to, which are top, competitive D1 programs in my sport, but I have applied to some Ivy-league and D3 schools. How hard is it to walk on in such programs? And exactly how different are these levels of competition from D1? I know Ivy-league is D1, but is it really more comparable to D3 or D2 in reality? Please keep in mind that my sport is one of the "top" college sports, not something more below the radar like , say, cross-country. No offense to cross-country, but the level of competition to get on the team, spots available, etc. differ greatly b/n the two sports. Do Ivy-league teams even have walk-ons, considering that most kids there focus on acadmeics and wouldn't be interested in walking-on? Also, I realize that being a walk-on is basically a synonym (usually) for riding the bench all four years, but I'm telling you, the love of the game makes you do crazy things ;)</p>

<p>Has anyone here had a child walk-on? How does one go about doing so; I don't need to contact the coach ahead of time like a recruit do I?</p>

<p>I am not like many others who play my sport; I am, to be honest, a pretty great student. I have already gotten in early action into one of my top choices (think along the lines of Stanford, Chicago, Georgetown, UNC, Rice) I don't want to say which exact one in hopes of confidentiality. I have more going on for me than this sport, but I can't get over it. The problem is, my current 2 top choices are VERY competetive at this sport; I would NEVER make it there as a walk-on. If I got into all of my schools, it would come down to a heartbreaking choice; as much as I love my top choices, I love my sport more. I am afraid I would make the wrong school decision just for the *slight chance * of being a walk-on...</p>

<p>So, the point of the above life-story... is it worth the trouble? I still need a lot of work to even make it as a walk-on; it is proabably a long shot. If I dedicate the next 6 months to more sweat and practice, do you think I could have a legitiamate chance at being a walk-on at an Ivy-league school? Is it worth the trouble? I feel like I need to at least try; failure would at least give me closure; but I can't imagine how much more heartbreaking it could be to get cut if practice and train hardcore crazy these next months. Should I simply do something more useful like get a job to fill my now empty (no more practice) days? Try to find a new dream? Should I give up? If so, do you have any advice on how to do so more easily? As far back as I can remember, through all the setbacks (there have been a few) I have held on to this dream; it feels weird not to have this 'goal' anymore. I feel sort of purposeless, even though I know that's not true and I have a nice future ahead of me probably...</p>

<p>Please share any thoughts you may have, experiences, I can use all the help i can get. Thank you so much if you actually even bothered to read this long thing...</p>

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<p>The end of high school is hard. Basically, you see life as you've always known it coming to an end, and, for a lot of kids, that is scary and difficult. It's not uncommon to want to cling to what is familiar and known and comfortable because you can't yet picture what lies ahead in any real way.</p>

<p>Things will be different in college, and, yes, some of the differences may sting. But, almost always new experiences and events and joys will fill in the gaps of what is left behind.</p>

<p>This is kind of a long winded way of saying I sympathize with the feeling of loss you are experiencing as you move from the high school sports world to the college sports world. Hugs to you, my dear, but courage as well, because much of your college experience will be what YOU make it.</p>

<p>Therefore, if your dream is to play your sport in college, it's up to you to decide how much effort to put into it. I'd also suggest that you think a bit about what you truly love about your sport and want from participating in college. It could be, for instance, that what you really love is the sense of comradery of being on a team or maybe it's the thrill of accomplishment you feel when you push yourself to a new level of performance or maybe it's the spotlight of being on a winning high school team. Only you can figure out the intrinsic rewards you love about it, but I'd encourage you to think carefully about what they are, and then think a bit more about how you can get that same satisfaction in college. be it as a walk on or in some other activity that provides the same satisfaction.</p>

<p>That said, there's nothing wrong with trying out for a walk on position as long as you won't be crushed if it doesn't happen.
I'd suggest that you contact the coaches at different schools and ask them directly what your chances of being a walk on might be -- asking a bunch of strangers who don't know you, or even know which sport we're talking about, about your chances won't give you the answers you seek. We can't really tell you what your chances might be, or if it's worth pursuing. (although I personally believe that we tend to regret not trying more than trying and not succeeding.)</p>

<p>If you don't make it, or decide that what you love about your sport is deeper than just being on the varsity team, you might also think about other ways you can satisfy your athletic urges. Look into club teams, intramurals, etc. Maybe even consider taking up a new sport, or a new interest.</p>

<p>I know the future seems kind of murky right now, and perhaps a little scary, as life as you know it starts to change, but you will find what you need to be happy, whether it's being a walk on, or a new interest. Have confidence and courage in pursuing your dreams, but also have a back up plan. Most importantly, don't beat yourself up with regrets, or allow yourself to think that the end of playing your sport is the end of your future. It isn't. The future hasn't been written yet -- so go forward confident that new adventures and accomplishments will fill the emptiness and loss you are feeling right now.</p>

<p>Finally, don't think of the transition before you as "giving up" but rather "moving on."</p>

<p>(PS If you find yourself starting to feel extremely depressed, please go and talk to your parents, your school counselor, your coach, or another trusted adult. Transitions are very hard, and it helps to have support, especially if your emotions start to feel overwhelming.)</p>

3

<p>Personally, I would make the decision based on academics, not athletics. That may not be what you want to hear, but you are an adult upon HS graduation and you need to make choices that are best for your future.</p>

<p>If you want to take a look into walking-on at a particular school - <em>I would first talk to your HS coach in your particular sport and ask him/her for an opinion</em>. They should be able to give you an idea as to whether you would be a good fit for a particular level of competition. If you get a thumbs-up from them, then contact the coach at a particular college.</p>

<p>If you don't play for a specific college, there are still plenty of intramural, adult and various club teams around in a number of sports. Skill levels vary, and you will undoubtedly find something that you enjoy. I participate at the Masters level (over 30) in a couple of sports - one is popular in most of the world but not so popular in the US, and the other is a slowly growing niche activity - and love it. Athletics do not end after High School!</p>

4

<p>You could be a RUDY!</p>

<p>A friend of mine played DII (ok, not the same, I realize) soccer by accident. He loved soccer but never dreamed he was good enough. He arrived on campus as a freshman and was out kicking a soccer ball over and over against a wall. The coach happened upon him and asked him to play. Simple as that!</p>

<p>Have you considered playing your sport as a club sport? Carolyn's suggestions of contacting coaches is an excellent one and you could also inquire of the coach about the level of club playing if it exists at the school(s). Perhaps play club for a couple of years with walk-on hopes for the DI?</p>

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<p>Don't go to a school just in hopes of being a walk-on. Go to a school that is right for you in multiple ways. (Club or even intramural sports are an option to consider, as well.) And remember that as painful as it is when one dream dies, there are almost always new dreams to take its place.</p>

6

<p>C, without knowing more (specific sport, etc.) it's hard to say how difficult it may be to join any team as a walk-on. By all means contact coaching staff at the schools you're considering, and where you have been accepted, and as soon as possible. Do note though that they are going to err on the side of caution in their statements.</p>

<p>For what it's worth, my daughter was accepted to several very nicely ranked schools with a roster spot in her sport, and directly recruited by several, including some Ivys. She was also accepted to a college where the coaching staff point blank told her "if you plan to participate in your sport in college, don't come here - you're not good enough, your stats are terrible compared to our existing roster" etc. </p>

<p>Long story short, she decided to attend that college (academic program considerations) walked on to that D-1 team, lettered with the varisty as a freshman, starter all four years, multiple medals, ended up also as the student council senator for athletics, the athletic conference representative for all sports, and this year, her fifth and final year in undergrad, she is a volunteer coach on that team, with full benefits, including paid travel to all competitions. They even offered her full scholarship money by junior year, although her academic (merit) money made this unnecessary, so, they picked up the portion of her COA that is not already covered by these other funds. This last was totally unexpected. </p>

<p>I think what made the difference is (1) high school program was poor, therefore her stats were not competive, and (2) the will, drive and passion of the athlete has a LOT to do with success, given that tools and coaching are in place: once in college with excellent coaches, her athletic competencies and successes increased dramatically. </p>

<p>I would also suggest that even if you cannot walk on and win a position in your freshman year, keep trying. We know many, many highly skilled and dedicated athletes who dropped off of their college teams from first semester of freshman year through sophomore year because they wanted more balance in their college experience, or didn't get along with coaching staff, or just because they wanted to try new ECs and/or focus more on academics. So even if you cannot get there freshman year, perhaps things may shift by sophomore year - departing team members will certainly open up roster positions.</p>

7

<ol>
<li><p>To some extent, the answer to your question may depend on what sport you're talking about. If it's football, I think there are a ton of walk-ons at the Ivy League or good D3 level. They may not get to play a lot, but they are definitely part of the team -- football takes a lot of bodies, and the coaches don't get that many slots for recruits. Basketball? Hockey? Not so much. Also, the answer may differ by school -- it may be somewhat easier to walk on in those sports at Dartmouth or Wesleyan than at Penn or Williams. Forget Stanford. But, yes, call the coaches, and call the players if you know any. They will probably give you a reasonably straight answer, and it's better than guessing.</p></li>
<li><p>Be careful. Some people we know have a son who chose Dartmouth over Yale because the baseball coach at Dartmouth encouraged him to walk on, and the coach at Yale didn't. He was cut from the team the week before the season began. He loves Dartmouth anyway. He's happy to be there. His parents are still angry, though.</p></li>
<li><p>When I was in college, there were lots of people like you around, and the intramural leagues in some sports were pretty satisfying. Not everyone was that great, but there were some really good players, and good teams were probably at the level of a decent high school team. I was on a fairly serious intramural soccer team; we had uniforms, practiced twice a week, plus games, won or came in second in the university league all four years, and played top intramural teams at our rival school on the big football weekend. Not the same as 'varsity at all, but pretty fun.</p></li>
<li><p>For people who really love their sports, the moment when they have to hang it up is always tough. Some get lost for awhile: one of my cousins who was a nationally ranked figure skater had a couple of "lost years"; a neighbor's child has landed back home after one semester of college. Eventually, you have to deal with it. It sounds like you have a lot on the ball, and it would be a shame to waste your opportunities while you grieve about your athletic career. I, too, encourage you to talk to someone like a sports therapist, who can probably help you deal with this contructively without five years of psychoanalysis.</p></li>
<li><p>Do what Michael Jordan did: Play golf, tennis, squash -- things where you'll be able to get good, competitive games in until you are 70.</p></li>
</ol>

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<p>champagne:</p>

<p>Like you, I really wanted to be an athlete. I played basketball every day and practiced ball handling and shooting whenever I couldn't find a pickup game. I worked hard. In the end, I was just good enough to make a bad high school team in a weak conference. I didn't play much.</p>

<p>You know, I was just not physically gifted enough to ever be more than a mediocre athlete, at best. It had nothing to do with effort and everything to do with amount of muscle (especially fast twitch muscle), hand/eye coordination, the size of my hands, and a host of other factors over which I had no control. As much as I loved basketball, I finally had to admit to myself that I just wasn't any good at it. </p>

<p>Growing up is a wonderful thing in so many ways. But one thing that isn't so wonderful is that, as you move down the timeline, certain doors close. Others open to compensate, but sometimes it's hard to take those closed doors well. </p>

<p>By all means, give it a go at the DIII level. I once played some sandlot football against a guy who'd been a DB for a DIII team, and he wasn't very good. But don't be too disappointed if it doesn't work out.</p>

<p>Play your sport intramurally, as many have suggested. Or pick up a new sport and play for fun and enjoy it as you progress.</p>

<p>In the end, you'll be just fine. You'll find another love and your goals will change, and that other love is likely to be something you're really good at.</p>

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<p>Champagne: if you truly love your sport, no matter your level in HS or your abilty, would your sport be offered at club or intermural levels. I have no clue about your specific situation, but not being a starter in HS could mean you don't have the natural gift of ahtleticism to play at university level. BUT, it could also be politics or other reasons.........so, if you love your sport, love being part of a team (?), love being physically active, then so what if you cannot play for your school.......play for the love of the game!</p>

<p>One of my Ds friends was a gifted, very gifted, star bball player at a big school in CA which went to CIF etc. She decided to try walking on and was the last cut at a public school not well known for star athletics.....this girl was amazing and did not make the walk on, so the chances are not high for you....but like this girl, you could play club/intermural and have lots of fun playing with other people who love the game!</p>

<p>If you love your sport, support the varsity team if you like and play in whatever league you can and play for the love of it!</p>

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<p>carolyn gave sage advice: contact the coaches at the schools you are considering. Some coaches welcome walk-ons and give them a legit chance to compete (Ben Braun and Pete Carroll in the Pac 10), while others are suspicious of walk-ons unless they are a tackling dummy for football. Also, you said that you did not start this year, which means someone was better at that position. How much better? Did that person go full-ride D1? For example, the current QB at Hawaii (who is racking up passing yards by the thousands) barely played in his four years of HS bcos he backed up some kid name Leinert (future Heisman winner).</p>

<p>Call the coaches - they can give you a realistic eval. Good luck.</p>

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<p>My niece was a very good high sch. volleyball player..capt. of team, all conference, 3 year starter, started on very successful traveling competition team.. you get the idea. She and her parents were sure the college offers would pour in. They did not. The only offers she got were from some very small schools that she could not see herself attending, although she would have been a starter/star on their team. She chose to go to the local state U and walk on. It turned out to be an exercise in frustration. She almost never got to play. Being on a college team requires so much work/time even if you are a walk-on who never plays. She missed so many days of class flying around the country to away conference matches where she barely even stepped on the floor except for the mop up minutes. She was offered a scholarship her Jr. year and thought all the work was worth it. It was not to be. A new coach came in and she was back to the bench. After all this she transferred for her senior year to a school she would have never considered going to out of high sch. because they guaranteed she would play. She did play and was a star on the team. She now hopes to go to grad. school because her goal is to be a coach someday. She was so disappointed in her walk-on experience. I would not advise going that route unless you really liked the college itself and were not just going there for a walk-on opportunity.</p>

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<p>Since you didn't say what sport or college, this may or may not help, but...my sons both played varsity football and baseball in hs. Oldest is now at a state university which was his dream school and is playing both intramurals. He said the level of competition is pretty good, as in- most/all of the flag football players played in hs, played varsity, at big high schools. He enjoys playing intramural because they are there for the love of the sport, but it doesn't take up all of their time. Do you really want to play ball at a school where you are going to sit the bench??? Why??? Ask yourself- would you rather PLAY somewhere, even if it's intramural or club, or sit the bench on a varsity team? Because if the answer is number two, you should ask yourself what the motivation is. Is it to say you're on a varsity team? Is it the company? Just because you are not on a varsity college team, does not mean you can't continue playing the sport (I don't think- you didn't say what the sport was)! Look into intramurals, clubs, and city leagues.</p>

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<p>I am sorry that I don't have time to read all the posts so far, but my advice would be: choose your top school(s) (academically) and contact the coach of the sport you are interested in and ask questions. Walking on at a choice school can work, but you have to contact the coach and see what is the procedure for doing so. It seems that you have passion for your sport which is something coaches DO look for. Pick up that phone, send those emails, write those letters. Good Luck!</p>

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<p>OP, are you male or female? It makes a difference. For Title IX purposes, a player who participates in varsity sports is counted for their gender regardless of whether they are a scholarship or walk-on player. As a result many schools that are struggling to get into compliance are restricting men from walking-on. I'm not trying to start a controversy here whether that is right or wrong, it is a simple fact that it is occurring and you can find that with a google search.</p>

<p>Second, since you love your sport you should look at the intramural leagues offered at the schools you are considering. Especially at larger state schools there will be several divisions to a sport, and I've been told that in the most competitive level they are filled with kids (at a Division-I school) that could have played D-III, that played extensively in HS, etc. So it may be possible to continue in your sport at a high level even if you're not on the school's team.</p>

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<p>I'll second contacting the coach, checking out sport clubs. Also try to figure out what made it great for you, and what activities are related both for cross training now, and just to get the same joy. Hockey or skiing - rollerblading all summer, rollerhockey league, etc.
I tried to find the article about this, no luck but I'd read this one tale in the Newark (NJ) Star Ledger. The father of the player is my neurosurgeon, last name Hubschmann. The oldest son tried out as a walk-on in LaCrosse. didn't make the team. When he came home for the summer his dad told him he would turn him into a winning player. Had him do the type of training dad did for his national team (judo?) back in the Czech Republic. He had him do crazed weight training, running, wind sprints, and things like running while pulling with a sled with weights on it. Son made the team the following year.
the son and younger brother founded Lacrosse Without Borders.</p>

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<p>At any mid- to -large school there will be many girls like you (I am assuming you are female- most males would not admit to being a Gilmore Girls fan) - varsity in HS but not varsity-level in college. It seems alot of schools have pretty strong club programs. These can be quite competitive, with extensive travel programs and tryouts (but also multiple teams). Check out their websites - they often have alot of info. Personally, I think its ideal - less conflict with academics, good competition, and kids are playing for only one reason - the love of the game.</p>

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<p>Champagne –
My D was a lot like you – spent many years playing basketball, hoping for a DI scholarship. Unfortunately she was not quite tall or gifted enough, and unlike her friends who did end up playing DI, was unwilling to devote the inordinate amount of time to her sport that was necessary to be recruited. She did receive letters from a few DIIIs, but in the end chose to attend a DI school because she wanted the entire big school college experience more than playing ball. Walking on was not an option for her, because at her U the women’s team practices from 8 am to 11 am and she did not want to give up what she thought were her most productive hours in a gym. A few thoughts:
1. First, a dose of reality: The general rule of thumb is that if you are not a starter by your junior year, the chances of playing DI are very slim. However, this may be an overgeneralization, so that for example, if your HS is a powerhouse in the sport, or if you attend a large HS, not being a starter may mean something different than if you are in a small school or if your sport is not big in your school.
2. You should definitely contact the head coach in each of the colleges you are interested in. Give them your stats, and especially some videotape of you playing over the last couple of years. Ask them for a realistic assessment of your chances as a walk-on.
3. There are major DI schools, and mid-major DIs. The Ivy League is usually thought of as equivalent to a mid-major. The Ivies do not give athletic scholarships, so often they carry a lot of players on their teams because it is difficult if not impossible for them to hold onto players for the entire 4 years with no financial incentive, so they expect a lot of attrition. Another league you might look at is the Patriot League. Of course, there are many excellent schools in DIII as well, but some DIIIs teams are stronger than lower DIs. You can find a list of DIII schools and their relative rankings by googling DIII and the name of your sport. For example, in basketball the website is D3hoops (I think).
4. DI sports usually require 30-40 hr/week time commitment. I believe that this excludes travel time. That is huge. The consensus is that if you play a DI sport, forget about having a life. This is not high school sports anymore; this is more like a business, which bears little resemblance to your high school experience.
5. If you are selected as a walk-on, you will probably be expected to work as hard as the scholarship players but will receive little playing time. The scholarship players will receive more “support” in terms of private tutoring, assistance with matters such as housing, summer jobs, etc. How would you feel about this?
6. As you mull over your acceptances in the next month or two, your choice of college should be based on academics and “fit”, not on your chances of walking on. After all, unless you’re offered a guaranteed position on the team within the next month or so (unlikely for a walk-on), nothing is certain, so your decision should be based on non-athletic considerations. Furthermore, most schools will have club teams in your sport; which compete against other schools (as compared to intramurals, which compete mostly on campus against each other). Joining a club team involves about the same amount of time as your high school team, so it will probably be very doable. This is what my D ended up doing (although in a different sport), and she was very happy with that.
7. When you make your final selection in April, you can still look into walking-on. At the open house for accepted students, D’s sport had a table for potential walk-ons to sign up. She received schedules for tryouts, practices and games, and decided that it would take away too much from her college experience; but you might feel differently, in which case you should keep working on your skills over the summer, and see what happens in the Fall.
It is hard to think about not participating in an activity that has meant so much to you all these years, and as sad as all those senior farewell games were for both D and S, they moved on to other interests and had (and are having) a wonderful time in college. Whatever you decide to do, best of luck!</p>

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<p>Thank you so much for all of the overwhelming responses. Sorry it took me so long to respond, but I went on a weekend trip with my friends’ because I figured it would help get my mind off things for awhile, but it hasn’t really kept me from thinking about everything. </p>

<p>I guess it would help to clue you in on my sport: basketball. And yes, nice catch on the Gilmore Girls reference drb ;) Im a girl. </p>

<p>So far, I’ve done a lot of thinking, especially about what some of you have said. I’m going to just go through all feelings/thoughts so far, as I try to sort them out…hopefully writing them down as they come will help me make sense of what I want to do…</p>

<p>CLUB SPORTS : For some reason, I always thought club sports only existed for the unusual, uncommon, non-varsity sports – ie. Ultimate Frisbee, rugby, etc. For the most part, I was mistaken, and on your suggestions I looked into it; most of the schools I am considering have club bball teams. A couple don’t, but I’m assuming there’s always the opportunity to start my own. So, the question is now, how competitive are these? Yes, there are tryouts, and they compete against other schools, etc. but are there generally lots that tryout every year? Say, for example I end up at Stanford. They have an excellent women’s basketball program; is that going to be reflected in their club program, making it extremely competitive to even get a spot on that roster? Or if you are a pretty good high school varsity player you can probably make the team? Should I simply contact different representatives at each school and check on that to gauge the competition then?? Intramural sports – they don’t appeal to me that much, I don’t know is it the lack of structure, intense practices, no coaching, etc? It seems to me like rec league ball all over again haha. </p>

<pre><code> Related to this ->>> Is it worth the trouble? Say I concentrate on practice, lifting, etc. all in hopes of making this club team. It’s probably going to devastate me even more come fall if I don’t make it, compared to me just letting go now. Not to mention if I do make it, 4 years down the road I’m going to encounter the same emotional problems moving on again. Maybe I just have a problem accepting change, like so many of you have mentioned? Carolyn, your thoughts really struck a chord with me, I’ll admit it, it made me cry a bit. But the future is somewhat scary to me…
</code></pre>

<p>I can’t even seem to figure out why I love playing basketball so much, like you suggested I discover. Everything about it; being on a team, definitely, The spotlight, absolutely. Honestly, though, I love scrimmages in practice just as much as the real game nights. But without the game nights, there’s nothing to look forward to, no purpose. I’m afraid I’ll feel as if I’m practicing for nothing…</p>

<p>Some of your stories have made me want to feel like giving up, lol. It’s time for me to move on to a new dream, I know but it’s hard to do so without one there for me to move onto. This really mad me pause in particular:<br>
“For people who really love their sports, the moment when they have to hang it up is always tough. Some get lost for awhile: one of my cousins who was a nationally ranked figure skater had a couple of "lost years"; a neighbor's child has landed back home after one semester of college. Eventually, you have to deal with it. It sounds like you have a lot on the ball, and it would be a shame to waste your opportunities while you grieve about your athletic career” Those weeks, months, years, however long I could go without a dream scare me, and I don’t know why. I think this is the major problem I’m facing. </p>

<p>Some of your stories felt just like mine, they really made me pause. How many of us have the same dream, it’s amazing. Tarhunt, poomix, latetoschool, JHS, somemom, Packmom, oldinjersey, thanks so much for sharing your personal stories with me. Some of them give you hope, some a dose of reality haha. Especially tarhunt; I feel like we could be nearly the same person; except my problem seems to be just the opposite of yours. I am a naturally gifted athlete : speed, reflexes, coordination, vertical jump, the whole shebang; but for some reason, and this is really ironic to me considering my academic level, my in-game decision making is terrible, I make stupid mistakes, play stupid. I don’t’t know why, I beat myself up too much during games… I think maybe considering the extent of my dreams I ended up putting too much pressure on myself; these ‘mistakes’ didn’t start happening until a few years ago…</p>

<p>Oh, Bluebayou, in response to your question : I played behind 2 girls who are also hoping to go D1; both of them are considerably talented – both made the All-District team; however both are still juniors. </p>

<p>Wow, I have practically written an essay here! I think I’ve made a lot of headway here, haha I never believed what they say about “writing your feelings down”. I realize this is so long, no one will probably read it, but I needed to get this all out. As of now, I am now thinking I will focus on making a club team my freshman (or sophomore) year (depending on the competiton level, and seeing how it goes from there. Perhaps I will find a new dream much sooner than I expected and only play club ball for a year, before I decide I have found something better for me (doubt it lol). Or I may (gosh, I’m dreaming again) end up moving up from club to varsity a few years later. I believe a girl at Duke (and that’s an EXCELLENT team as anyone who follows college basketball knows) accomplished this a couple years ago; I’ll look into that, pretty inspiring story ;) </p>

<p>I want to refrain from contacting coaches though, because I’m afraid it will taint my choices of college; I will definitely be biased to wherever I have a better chance of making a team, and I don’t want that to happen…</p>

<p>Any more comments, please feel free to keep them coming, you don’t know how helpful this is.</p>

19

<p>Champagne:
1. follow advice to speak with coaches. Some may not have time to talk with you but if you contact enough you'll get a valuable perspective. But I agree wit those who say choose a college for reasons other than being able to make the varsity. It's the education, the overall experience that you'll be going there for.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>If you really are a naturally gifted athlete then you might have experienced poor coaching in HS and perhaps a better coach could teach you the skills you need. </p></li>
<li><p>There was an article last week about the Stanford womens' basketball team. Because basketball teams have small rosters and because some players are being rested for injuries, they have people not on the team but who can play basketball whom they call on for practices. That might give you an entry into a basketball team.</p></li>
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20

<p>If you are on the bench on your high school team, sit down and make a list of the reasons why.</p>

<p>Are you taller than 5-10?</p>

<p>Are you muscular enough and gutsy to play 'non-contact' bball? ;)</p>

<p>Can you dribble down the court in three dribbles only?</p>

<p>Can you run uphill for 45 minutes?</p>

<p>What is keeping you on the bench? If it was correctible, why didn't you correct it? Be honest.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>If you are 6' +, if you weigh at least 160 pounds, if you can run uphill easily--then by all means--find a summer program--the girl's equivalent of the highly urban Five Star camps or a local coach legend--and challenge yourself to go up a level. Then give the walk-on a try. One scenario--they might bring you on to scrimmage.</p></li>
<li><p>Throw the dice and walk-on to another sport. Walk-on to the women's rowing team if you are tall enough. I know a guy who walked onto the men's rowing team at one of your EA schools. He had a great four years.</p></li>
<li><p>Intramurals are great. My son is currently on cloud nine becuase his bball team is undefeated. He is on a 'B' level team becuase he is the tallest guy on the team--and 6'-2" ain't that tall by bball standards. Nevermind, he loves it. He plays football intramural in the autumn and he loves that too. Catching a few intercepted passes/touchdowns kinda makes his whole week. His teams win and he LOVES it. He was recruited as a freshman to both teams by seniors. NCAA College sports are a tough go--I bet more than 30% of NCAA athletes quit at some point. Heaps of fabulous athletes don't sign up for that NCAA ordeal but they still wanna play hard.</p></li>
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