My name is super common and I’ve never really liked it, but I don’t plan on changing it legally. I’ve also had a really bad time in school so far and want to kind of rebrand myself, so I want to go by a different name in college. Thing is, it doesn’t really have anything to do with my actual name. I want to either go by Mara or Rae, or put them together for Mara Rae (which is going to be my stage/work name since I’m going into the film industry anyway). I’m just not sure if this is a weird thing to do- the only way they kinda connect to my name is that my middle name is Marie and they can sort of be a nickname for that (the relative I got that name from went by Mar). Do you guys like Mara or Rae better? And is it better to go by one of those or just by the whole one? Also, is this is a super weird thing to do?
I hope your user name is not your real name.
I just read another post about someone wanting to do the same thing.
Introduce yourself by your preferred name to new friends. If they ask you about it, “I go by Rae, Mara is my legal name.”
No, neither of the names in my username are real. Mara is not my legal name, it’s one of the names I was thinking of going by.
What I went by in high school is not the name I ended up with in college.
I have a name that was considered culturally difficult to pronounce. One of my professors became flustered because he kept messing it up and finally shouted out, “Oh for the love of Mike! I can’t say your name so I’m just gonna call you ______!” (I cleaned up what he actually said). The name stuck and I kept it for my business. People liked it, so I just went with it. When I met my husband, that’s the only name he knew me using.
Personally, I find the two "r"s in Mara Rae (even separated by the “a” difficult to say together.) I like Rae alone, and Mara is pretty to me (if pronounced Mahrah) but I don’t particularly like Mara if the more flat (short a) is used. YMMV! Choose the name that suits YOU! I used a nickname related to my legal name in college, then changed back in adulthood.
People do it all the time, choose to be called whatever you want.
I have a good friend that I have known since kindergarten. I have always known him as Chuck (short for Charles). His parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, college friends, grad school friends, and first wife all called him Chuck.
When he was getting remarried he asked that I be his best man. I went to visit him and meet his bride to be before the wedding and noticed that she called him Charlie. I assumed this was a pet name and didn’t think too much of it but it felt odd. Fast forward to the wedding and everyone from the bride’s side refereed to him as Charlie and his side as Chuck, it was an odd weekend for me but I was able to incorporate the awkwardness into my toast. It turns out once he started dating again part of his “protective” measures against getting hurt again was to go by Charlie at first, to not let women get too close to him but by the time he was ready to take a deeper step in the relationship Charlie had stuck.
Today he is known as Charles professionally, in publishing, and in the media; he is Chuck to his parents and those from his past; and he is Charlie to anyone he and his wife are social with. I would be confused but he seems to make it work seamlessly.
This might be very silly, but…I just returned from Thailand, where I learned that Mara means Devil. Curious, I then looked up what Mara means in other languages, and was a bit surprised that anyone would name their child Mara! To our ears, it’s actually a lovely name. Sadly though, in several different languages, Mara means bitter in Hebrew, goddess of destruction or God of death in Hindi, and a Patagonian rodent. Sorry! Consider a different name, perhaps?
Why is that sad why does the meaning have to be ““positive”” for it to be a good name. I mean it also means joy, time, and Lady in other languages but I really don’t think the meaning of a name matters that much since there are hundreds of languages with hundreds of meanings.
I dunno, @Lindagaf, “Goddess of Destruction” wounds pretty kickass to me!
No better time in your entire life to reinvent yourself than right now, when everything is changing and almost no one will follow you from your old world. You may get some funny looks at Christmas break or next summer from people who knew the old you, but keep your head up and your feet moving and you should be OK.
Quick caution: just changing your name, cutting your hair and buying some new shirts isn’t going to change who you are. Have a clear idea how much you expect from this change, as you’re already going to be going through a lot as you transition to college. You’re getting a new home, new classmates, new friends and starting on a path towards a major, so the break from Old You is already pretty substantial. Add the new name if you have something specific in mind you’re moving towards, but it’s not necessary if you just want to start fresh. (I’m not trying to bum you out here or dissuade you from a change, just keeping the broader scale of the transition to college in mind. Have fun and good luck.)
You’ll have to spell either one every time you say it to someone who has it on a list, etc. That is a bit of a pain.
great typo!
I already have to spell my current name every time so I’m used to it
yup I totally get that thanks! I’m already trying to change the parts of my personality that I don’t like in order to be the best version of myself (like negative traits I’m not changing myself for no reason or smth) and I just feel that a different name will make it easier to leave the old me behind.
bro that’s what I’m saying how cool is that
Perhaps using your middle name might be less confusing.
When I was in college there were 2 people in our circle of friends with the same name, so one used her. middle name. But professionally she now uses her first name. It is hard to call her anything but what we knew her by.
When DS#2 went to college they assigned dorm rooms. (it seems) alphabetically by first name. There were 11 guys on his floor with the same first name! They figured it out.
my middle name is just as common as my first name and there are multiple relatives with it so changing it a bit makes it easier.
Why not use your first and middle name? Are there many relatives with your first/middle name? I agree that MaraRae is hard to say.