Going out - something you need to do in high school?

<p>So, as weird as it sounds, of all the things in my life, the one thing I'm worried about more than anything else is my relationships (esp. with girls). I mean, I do fine in school, I think I can get into college, etc. I never asked out anyone (on a date, to prom, etc.). I don't go to dances either. I'm a little shy, but I don't think that's the only reason why I don't have a girlfriend. Honestly, I didn't try either. But, anyone else in my situation? Anything to do to prepare for the future?</p>

<p>^ exactly.</p>

<p>I feel ya, man.</p>

<p>A lot of people in HS avoid the dating scene as it usually doesn't end in a lasting relationship. They prefer casual hookups and parties with friends. This approach kind of makes sense for our age range. But then again, if you find someone you want to be tied down to it's not like you CAN'T date... it's just not your #1 priority.</p>

<p>Depends on your morals and priorities. Don't feel obligated to go out as in date or go out as in party.</p>

<p>Hey, you got all of college. That's my thinking.</p>

<p>I'm with the waiting side.</p>

<p>In my opinion, dating is essentially looking for "the one" who you want to marry. Making that decision or trying to make that decision in high school is something I believe we are not mature or wise enough to make. I also
believe that you could be doing so many more things with your life, and also that if your relationship ends up going down the wrong path, you will probably lose some friends and struggle for weeks or months after your breakup. </p>

<p>I've come close a couple times, but for the sake of staying focused and keeping on task, I decided to just be friends. </p>

<p>Wait until college =)</p>

<p>i was on the waiting side until i became a senior. in my senior year, i've been steady with a girl (over 6 months now). and yes, most relationships don't end in a lasting relationship, but it's nothing bad to go out with a girl either. if u end in a lasting relationship with her then congrats! but if u don't, then u'd still have experiences, and would be able to deal with disappointment better.
but you should still draw a line on how far u will go to physically and emotionally with another instead of letting ur passion dictate the relationship, as that can become irreversible and destructive.</p>

<p>You dont need to worry about dating at all in high school because you have your whole life ahead of you to meet somebody that you really want to be with.<br>
If you are worried about your shyness, just try to ask a girl to the prom or to a dance. Its not a big deal, could be a really fun time, and will boost your confidence.
Good luck.</p>

<p>ttn, that's intense. Not everyone is that mature when it comes to that. There's nothing wrong with the other side of the argument (though social conservatives would disagree).... OP, there's nothing wrong with trying or with waiting. :)</p>

<p>the thing is, since 95% of colleges have a hookup based scene, we feel pressured to get some experience now so we're not terrible at it later.</p>

<p>Nothing wrong with waiting if your shy, seeing as dating on the high school / college level is usually more of a social thing than anything else.</p>

<p>
[quote]
In my opinion, dating is essentially looking for "the one" who you want to marry.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>What? I've never gone into a relationship thinking that I could one day marry the girl I'm dating. Your too mature for your age lol.</p>

<p>In my four years of high school, I have never gone out on a date or had a boyfriend. Then again, it's not like I really hung out a lot with my friends or went to parties and other shindigs in the first place (i.e., I don't/didn't socialize a lot).</p>

<p>It's odd, because it's not like I didn't want to. In fact, I would've welcomed it, but most of the males I knew were limited to my school, and I'm not interested in most of them. It's not like I really put forth the effort, though.</p>

<p>Hopefully going to a university of 45,000 undergraduates for some odd years will change that. ;P</p>

<p>Stop looking for love, it will find you.</p>

<p>^ that will happen in my dreams.</p>

<p>what do you do during summer then? just chill at home all day?</p>

<p>well, having a relationship has been a nice break from the general suckiness of high school's junior year for me. but its really not necessary at all. just nice. if anything, it might be good to get some dating practice under your belt in high school, so you know what you're doing in college, where it seems more frequent that people meet "the one."</p>

<p>Just because you go to college does not mean the girls will line up for you. It's best to practice in high school but don't take it seriously. Just remember if you don't succeed at first your breath must smell.</p>

<p>if u are destined for love... u'll recognize it at once... but then... don't ggo around looking for someone to go out with</p>

<p>The purpose of HS socializing is not as much an end-in-itself as a means for preparing you for college, since while the people in HS may not be as similar to you as the people you will meet in college, it is still important to get experience with things like hooking up, parties, drinking, drugs, dancing, dating, and flirting before heading off to college, where your unfamiliarity with the new environment can stifle your confidence; this would be deadly to your social life if you had very little confidence to begin with. Get some notches on your belt so that you don't feel like (and project yourself as) a total loser when you show up at Frosh O.</p>

<p>I am in the exact situation as radionowhere. Junior year has been so hectic, so hellish, that having some romance really adds some sparkle to life. However I must also agree with beardy. I fell into my current relationship when I had no expectations, was not looking for a boyfriend or anything. People say that when you have a life and you're not needy for a significant other, it makes you more confident and therefore attractive. In my experience that has been the truth. </p>

<p>I want to be careful though; I am not big on the casual, three day long flings that seem to comprise the bulk of high school relationships. I am realistic and do not expect to marry my boyfriend, but I do try to cultivate an intimate connection and strong bond with him. Yes, it'll make breaking up harder. But I'm young, and I don't want to hold back on love :)</p>

<p>I'm adding my input to the numerous great perspectives.</p>

<p>Personally I am glad that I have been in several steady relationships throughout high school. It's been an interesting experience, and I have a better idea of what kind of guys I like. At the same time, some people can get carried away with relationships to the point where they forget themselves and their friends. Does anybody know what I mean? There is always that one guy or girl who will only spend time with their gf/bf. The problem is, they don't form their own identity, and after the break up they're screwed.</p>

<p>High school dating = good, but to an extent. People should not take it too seriously at an age where they are not old enough to seriously commit. Especially guys, who don't really mature until their mid-20s, anyway.</p>