Going to an "Elite" College as a Scholarship Kid - Is anyone else worried?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I say "Elite" because it's not an Ivy in my case, but Vanderbilt's hardy your state school (not that there's anything wrong with that, but you get the point here). My family's not poor, but there was no way I was going to get to go to Vanderbilt without their very generous aid package. To be honest, I had been looking at my local technical college because I'd gotten rejected to all but one of my schools, and the one I had gotten accepted to was way too expensive (Georgia Tech, I'm looking at you), but then I got pulled off the Vandy wait list.</p>

<p>I'm certainly not bothered by my status as firmly middle-class, but I had just recently been cleaning my room, and found some stuff from when I visited Vandy last summer, and saw a surprising statistic in their Financial Aid paper - "In 2013/14, more than 60% of Undergraduate Students enrolled at Vanderbilt received some type of financial assistance from one or more sources."</p>

<p>Yes, that's a majority, but just barely! Maybe it's a childish fear, but I'm just worried that I'm going to be surrounded by kids whose parents just paid the ~$43,000 tuition, while mine needed the generous aid package, Work Study, and still had to take some federal loans.</p>

<p>So is this a completely unreasonable worry? Is anyone else concerned about this at their university, not necessarily Vanderbilt?</p>

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<p>Yes, it is an unreasonable worry. Sure, there will be some kids who don’t understand why you cannot zip off somewhere to vacation for a long weekend or why you don’t have the latest version of whatever it is you are into.</p>

<p>That would be the case anywhere you go. Unless you are the richest kid at the school, someone will have more ‘stuff’. </p>

<p>You don’t have to wear a sign that says ‘scholarship kid’ or sit in the back of the classroom. </p>

<p>Relax, enjoy the rest of your summer and enjoy Nashville in the Fall!</p>

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<p>Look at the % of kids on financial aid there. Probably close to half You’ll be in good company. If your kid is looking at jobs and careers where there will a lot of such peers, he’s going to be in that company for a while. </p>

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<p>So 60 percent will be in same boat as you, 40 percent not. What exactly is concerning? Why do you care so much if they paid full or not? But congrats at your good luck.</p>

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<p>I will answer this as an adult who went through it. I went to Smith, years ago, as a scholarship student, and yes, there is a difference. I wasn’t poor, exactly, but my parents couldn’t contribute anything to my costs, and I had to earn both my family’s contribution and my own spending money ($5 a week). I remember my house deciding its budget for parties, and being dismayed that my share would blow my budget (I still remember how astonished–although kind–the other house members were when I mentioned this; they voted to carry me. Ouch.) The other kids routinely went to the popular ice cream place at ten pm; I couldn’t afford it. (That’s ok, I didn’t gain the freshman fifteen). There will be many moments when you want to shake people whose totally unconscious life choices assume that you have 5, or 15, or 150 dollars to blow on something you simply cannot afford. I made my own clothes. I remember the secret Santa that everyone did, little presents you were supposed to buy and leave for your assigned person, and what a strain that put on my purse; no one else worried in the slightest. </p>

<p>So you will be aware of the difference. What may help, though, is that your friends (once they get it) won’t care. Yes, there might be jerks who do care, but you wouldn’t like them anyway. You will probably have times when you resent the entitled twits you have to deal with. That’s ok. Try to realize that they are actually handicapped by their sense of entitlement, that they don’t understand what working is about, and they are going to have a rude awakening someday–and that in the long run, working for your education gives you a value for it that is invaluable. I knew how much each class I took cost me, and you’d better believe I didn’t skip any: $200 a class? I earned that money at $5 an hour, I’m not content with sleeping in and blowing it off. I earned my education, but more importantly, I owned it. </p>

<p>You also own your sense of self. If you go in feeling at a disadvantage, you will be at a disadvantage. You really need to know, in your soul, that money doesn’t mean worth, despite this culture’s ceaseless teachings. You are just as valuable a person as any of your classmates, however they value their own culture, money, breeding or background. And that’s the great thing about college, really: you are all on an equal footing, going in. From now on, it is your performance that matters, not your money. Some of your classmates may not know this. Too bad for them.</p>

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<p>As a full scholarship student at an expensive college, I can relate with the above as I lived it too, but it didn’t bother me a whit. First of all, there were a number of us in teh same situation, and those who were not and were my friends, understood that some of us came from families with little support. Some of my best friends came from truly wealthy families, as well as some who came from straits more dire than mine. Even those who were full pay, by the way, were working part time for discretionary spending. I went to well to do homes of classmates and those families were stretching to pay for college just as I am these days for my kids. My kids all work part time to pay for school and extras. </p>

<p>But yes, there is a distinct difference between working to pay for extras and to pay to stay in the school. Money can be an issue and real sore if there is barely enough to cover the essentials at college. A bad tooth, broken glasses, any disaster could mean a semester down the drain I think there were times we helped out kids in such situations, but some just disappeared.</p>

<p>In my experience, both in college and not, those from the poorer families tended to skip more classes and flunk out more. The direct relationship between family income and academic achievement that I was studying in Educational Stats and research were panning out directly in what I can see and have seen, as well as the actual numbers. A lot of the full fin aid students did not make it through, from our dorms.</p>

<p>My younger brother felt the financial chasm more that my other brother, my DH and I did. And he was on the least amount of aid initially and my parents had more for him than any of us. When Dad died, he did get full need met, but my mother, brother and I made sure he wanted for nothing, much less needs, yet he, of all of us felt he was a “poor” kid in a rich school. Perhaps the company he kept, maybe just the way he’s wired. Really, I did not feel like I was poor or had any problems hanging around those who came from wealthier families. </p>

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<p>Please discuss the link between low income & flunking out…very interesting! </p>

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<p>The students from low income families:

  • are more likely to have graduated from low quality high schools, resulting in struggling to handle college work or needing remedial courses
  • are more likely to need to work while attending college, reducing the amount of time available to study
  • are more likely to drop out because they run out of money</p>
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<p>Thank you guys so much for your support, it really helps hearing from people who have gone through this before! My family is definitely not helping my nerves, between my dad voicing his worries over me not fitting in because I can’t afford the newest and nicest, to my sister constantly talking about how all college kids want to go on trips on the weekends and stuff, it’s making me worry more!</p>

<p>But, I shall be optimistic! If I can’t have the flashiest things, I guess I’ll just have to impress with my academic prowess!</p>

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<p>@SusieAnne‌ </p>

<p>Good luck to you! </p>

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<p>yes, its completely unreasonable. Your attitude will definitely be more important than your wealth. Your worry about such a petty concern demonstrates that you don’t have a very good attitude to start with. You should definitely stop worrying about other people and just focus on yourself and your well being. </p>

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<p>There will always be people with more than you anywhere you go. That doesn’t mean you should avoid them or change what you want to do or where you want to go because of it.</p>

<p>First of all, the assumption that EVERYONE at this school is going to be part of the wealthy elite is a little silly, as you demonstrated your self. Second of all, just because someone’s family is well off doesn’t mean they are spoiled, will want to only do things where you have to spend a lot of money, or don’t ever have to think about money.</p>

<p>I had friends in college from a wide range of financial situations from someone whose family paid for everything and who had never really had to think about money before to someone who had a 0 EFC, worked several jobs to support herself, and regularly sent money back to her mom. We all got along just fine. Some kids need to be reminded (or to learn) how fortunate they are and that not everyone else is, but for the most part, college kids are college kids. There will always be idiots out there, but you can’t let them stop you from doing what you want to do. Most people aren’t going to be the rich spoiled brats your imaging, and will instead just be: people. Don’t go in assuming the worst of everyone, keep your eye out for free and cheap things to do (and around colleges, there are always plenty of them, and you’re going to be just fine.</p>

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<p>… and don’t assume that if kids thoughtlessly plan something that is too expensive for your budget, that they are doing so without thinking of your situation or feelings. My kids, for better or worse, grew up with kids around them that could also afford a pizza, a movie, an ice cream cone. Some of the kids earned the money to buy those things, others had the money given to them. I think that the vast majority of those kids would feel awful if their lack of awareness made someone else feel bad. I know that my kids would be mortified if they made someone feel diminished because of their financial situation; you would be doing them a kindness by pointing it out to them (although I hope that my kids have internalized my lessons about being aware and respectful so that it wouldn’t apply to them ). :)>- </p>

<p>Long story short: I don’t think it will be a problem; most kids are nice, if sometimes oblivious. </p>