I am a senior in highschool. Lately, I have been going back and forth with my college decisions and I finally decided on my dream school. My dream school that will cost me 38k a year. I knew this was extremely on the expensive side, but my mother never really spoke to me about finances. Everything I searched on the internet just told me it was a good investment, and maybe with some help from my mother I would be okay. So, earlier today I deposited my $800 deposit as my mother tells me that she will not be helping me pay for my tuition. I’m not resentful, I just really don’t know what to do now. My mother barely talked about money with me, we never had a sit down. She just told me she’ll go with whatever i want, and now she told me that she is “scared for me” regarding my student debt situation… This is the school I’ve been so excited for. The area of the school, the college experience it would give me, the freedom… Also it’s out of state… I’m not saying that i want to be away from my family but i definitely need that break. I want to be a dentist and I’m going to be studying biology, and I just think this school is great for that.
Right now my heart is telling me just go for a year and transfer to a cheaper school later. My plan is to board and dorm at this school for my freshman year, and then go back home to commute the remainder of my college years. Some of me thinks this is worth it, some of me just wants to cry in the corner of the room and never come out. Help? Is it a waste? ALSO: It would be cheaper for me to go to my dream school for one year and commute to a state college soph-senior year, compared to attending+dorming at my state school for four years (what my mother wanted me to do)
How are you going to pay for the dream school for even one year? The maximum loan you can take out is $5,500 your freshman year. Your mom has to co-sign everything beyond that, and she said she can’t/won’t help.
How much are the other schools where you have acceptances?
The dream school for one year would probably be a waste in that you risk having all the debt and no degree in the event you get in over your head and can’t afford to apply to or deposit at your transfer school. Bad situation.
Your mother is in the wrong for not talking about finances earlier. Some people overestimate their chances at a scholarship or simply make hope their only plan. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, so you have to play the cards you were dealt, not the hand you wish you had. Seek out cheaper options, make the best of it, and maybe save the dream school for graduate school.
It will turn out okay.
I’m really sorry that your mother let you down by not talking to you- a parent should. But before you wrote that $800 check, where did you think the money would come from?
Do you (or did you) believe that your mother has $40,000 available to write that check? Is it that she has the money & doesn’t want to spend it, or was borrowing always part of the picture?
Did you mother’s plan of the home-state college also involve borrowing? if so, how much?
If borrowing was always part of the picture, does your mother have the financial ability to co-sign for a $35,000 loan for you?
If not, it really doesn’t matter what you want or what is reasonable or what is responsible: the dream school is a mirage. It is not real for you.
And, taking nothing away from the very real pain of seeing a dream go up in smoke, the pain of going there for a year and then having to leave to move back home is exponentially worse.
Happily, almost every college / university has a strong biology department, and you don’t need a name-brand college to get into dental school. What you do need are top grades and test scores- and the ability to pay for it (the cheapest dental school is approx $150,000).
So go back to basics: figure out what your budget is. Have that talk with your mother. Come back with a budget, stats & state & people here will help you find options.
I agree with starting with your affordable option and commuting.
Starting at the dream school and transferring could cause you to lose credits in the process and increase your cost.
I think emotionally it will be harder as well. Start where you know you will finish. Get invested in clubs and activities, research, make connections with students and professors.
Your mom did you a disservice by not having this conversation sooner but it is what it is.
Keep your undergraduate debt as low as possible.
Yeah, mom really should’ve had that discussion with you before you started applying to places you can’t afford. Nonetheless, I speak from first-hand experience when I say that parents are far from perfect. You’ll be a flawed parent too one day 
That being the case…you can’t afford to go there. There’s no money to pay for it, and there’s no way to get student financing without a co-signer. I wouldn’t co-sign that kind of student debt either. It’s a setup for failure.
Being a dentist is a GREAT dream and you seriously don’t need an exotic school to get there. I have two cousins that went to UTSA, which is the local university over here. One is a doctor and the other one is a lawyer. Both have very successful careers. Plus, dental school is VERY expensive and you really need to keep the undergraduate loans to a minimum.
It might be cheaper, but the upfront costs are greater. Also, it would be cheaper still to commute for all for years. Do you really want to do that?
Do you want to spend a year in School A only to have to say goodbye to all of your friends and commute?
Take your mother’s offer and board at school B. Make friends there and have a blast.
Have you also been accepted to your more affordable in-state school?
I agree with others that it is not worth $40,000 to spend one year at your “dream” school. Dreams can turn into nightmares too easily.
If you have already been accepted to an affordable school I think that you should start there. If not then you might be best off taking a gap year and applying to more affordable schools in the fall.
You can’t borrow $38k, so it’s unfortunate that your mom let you pay $800 to hold a spot at a school you can’t afford. If there’s a 4 year school within commuting distance go there. If money is tight you could start at a cc first.
Your degree will be from the cheap school. No one will acre that you started at your dream school.
Is your dream the name of the school or the actual experience of being in college where you can develop meaningful relationships and learn some great lessons? Go to the college that will actually fulfill your dreams not some name brand that will do nothing but cost you a lot of money. Even if you go there in the fall you probably won’t get to attend in the spring. Your mom may end up co-signing the fall term but have second thoughts for spring. Don’t make this impulsive emotionally charged choice.
While it isn’t ideal that you didn’t know ahead of time that finances are important, I can guarantee you that there are many kids who end up going to the school their family can best afford which is not necessarily their dream school. My advice is talk to your mother and find out which school options she would like you to choose from (if there is a choice) and start there. A school does not need to have a big name to get an excellent education so go in with an open mind and you may end up very happy you went there. My daughter did not get to give serious consideration to a few schools she applied to that in the end were out of our price range - it happens.
What about attending your state flagship, living on campus, for a year, and then reconsidering whether you’d rather stay there or transfer? Perhaps join a living-learning community there, to be sure you have peers?
Did you apply anywhere beside unaffordable dream school and instate flagship?
Try to get that $800 back.
As for biology, really, most colleges are pretty good for this major.
If you name the two universities we may have more precise advice.
Ok first sorry your in the place but here goes, there is a good chance your dream school will not start on time so your paying for online classes at more than likely full rate, if you can not afford the tuition , get out now, if anything go cc for 2 years and than transfer to your state flagship, if your dream is to be a dentist, you need to find a way to pay for undergrad and dentist school so debt is not your friend, what are your stats , where do you live, this board is pretty good with helping out with schools if we know some info.