My mother doesnt understand that college is expensive...

Paying for College
1

Please read, I need advice
Hello

My mother and I have been arguing over me wanting to go to a school where I have to take out loans…

I am not expecting my mother to pay for my tuition, I am totally okay with having that weight debt on me and i’ve told her this. I actually WANT to pay for it myself, since I know my mother can not afford to. But she is driving me crazy, telling me why are all the colleges i applied to $20,000-$40,000 for tution. She keeps on telling me that my choice of university is the “wrong one” since they wont pay for everything and that I would have to take out a loan. but THIS IS HOW COLLEGE WORKS. But she doesnt understand this! And shes blaming me and fighting with me over it!

Now I have my heart set on a school (well, the only school I was accepted to…), and the tution is about $39,000 ( $62,000 in total for books, fees, room and board, etc…), and the school gave me about $35,000 in scholarship/grant per year. YES i understand that this is a lot of money, and that i will pay interest, and that itll add up - but isnt this how most students deal with? Isnt taking out loans a common thing?

Maybe it’s me who’s wrong here… but please help me convince my mom that its NORMAL for students to take out loans - and that I am WILLING to work part time during the summer and possibly during the semester to pay it little by little so that I wont owe too much when I graduate.

*and if I have a late birthday abd will be 17 when i start college, am i able to take out a loan on MY name, rather than my mothers? She refuses to put any loan on her name, and she has bad credit (bought a house about 5 years ago) - so will i be able to put the loan on my name without her cosigning??

2

You can only borrow 5500 a year through federal loans. I don’t think there is a bank on the planet that would land the remaining to a student without a cosigner. I think you need to find a school you can afford via grants loans and scholarships.

Again, you can only borrow 5500 a year. If your mother is denied a PLUS loan you can qualify for more, but still not enough.

3

^^ The school is giving me a loan package that’ll pay for the rest (which of course, I have to pay back)

4

If that’s true, than the school’s loan package probably includes loans that your mother will have to sign for.

5

What types of loans? Direct loans? PLUS loans?

6

Look carefully at that loan package. Stafford and Perkins loans are yours, and yes you can take them as a 17 year old. However, if any of those loans are labeled “Plus” loans those would be for your parents to sign for and the parent is liable for them. Out of those loans, you’ll be able to take about $10,500 yourself (Stafford and perkins) and then what will you do for the other ~$22000?

7

Federal Perkins, Direct Subsidized and Unsubsidized, Direct PLUS (Parent), as well as a workstudy (its $1000) but I will probably not do this, one because I plan on interning/working outside of schooling during the semester.

8

I’m willing to guess that the Direct PLUS loan is the biggest part of the loan, right? That’s a loan for your parent; there’s no way for you to take this out yourself. Your mother actually couldn’t even cosign them with you; she would have to take them out by herself, and I have to admit if I were your mother I would not take out a Parent PLUS loan since the interest rate isn’t particularly good and she already has bad credit.

This college doesn’t sound affordable at all to me to be honest. Are you sure that this is the best college you can attend? Most college students do not borrow anywhere near this amount; the average student loan debt (total) for American students is about $29000 – that’s in total for all years of college. Your plan is to borrow more than that every year for four years, which is not reasonable or common at all as the statistics show.

9

Thank you for the info on the Stafford and Perkins and Direct PLUS :smile: ! and in regards to the rest of the money,the amount I was given in total of loans, pays off everything (with my scholarship/grant) - and im only left with $9 different lol

10

^“Direct PLUS (Parent)” is for your parent to borrow, not you.

11

the Direct PLUs for my mother is $19,480 for 2015 -2016, and this scares me because I know this is going to give my mother a heart attack hearign this and im afraid to tell her this

12

No, it’s neither normal nor wise to take out $27k in loans per year for college. That’s the total limit (of federal student loans) that undergrads are allowed to borrow for all 4 years. Your mother is correct. YOU can’t take on that kind of debt without a cosigner.

What the school is giving you is likely what some offered my son. He also received $30k+ grants to $60k+/year schools. They suggested loans to fill the gap, but they weren’t offering them. They were suggesting PLUS loans which have to be taken out by a parent, not the student, but there’s no guarantee the parent will get them if they apply. We didn’t. Taking out more loans than the guaranteed student loans ($5500 as a freshman, $6500 as a soph, and $7500 each year as a junior and senior) isn’t a good idea for most students. You can’t take out more than that, as neatoburrito said. Your mom would have to, and it doesn’t sound like she intends to do that.

Do you have any financial safeties? Are there schools you can commute to that are still taking apps? If you tell us your SAT/ACT and GPA, what state you live in, how much (if any) your mom can pay a year, and if you qualify for Pell then posters here can give you better advice. The school you and your mom are arguing over is unaffordable, so you need to start looking for alternatives if you haven’t already.

13

Don’t tell her. Don’t even consider this. No, it is not normal to take out that much in loans. Don’t think about offering to pay them back yourself if she takes them out. No, this is not how college works. This is life crippling amounts of debt. You need to find and attend a more affordable school.

14

Your mother is probably right to be worried. If she has bad credit, she might not even be allowed to take the Parent PLUS at all. That’s the problem I have with colleges who put that in a financial aid package; it’s really not that difference from them saying, “hey, you can put this on your credit card”. It’s not aid at all, really, and it creates the illusion that the costs are taken care of when they really aren’t.

Again, the average college student graduates with about $29000 worth of debt. If you borrow that much each year for four years you will have borrowed close to 4x as much as the average college student. It’s not a good idea. There are other schools that cost much less than 60 grand a year or schools that will give you real scholarships. (A $30K discount on a $60K bill is great if your family is fairly well off, but if you need a lot of aid it’s really not much help at all; it’s not about the size of the scholarship but about how much you have to pay out of pocket and it sounds like the school is still asking for a lot of money in the form of debt that you don’t have.)

15

wow I was never aware that the 20k+ per year wasnt the norm :frowning:

i really feel like crying because I really dont have any financial safeties. I applied to about 9 schools at first, rejected by all accept one (the one im taking about, and this was my safety!) I know I know this is crazy but I feel really hopeless know. I apllied to a CUNY (Baruch) at the last minute to see if i can get accepted, since i can afford Baruch, But im still waiting on their response, but I doubt ill make it to be honest…

16

What kind of future career do you have in mind? If you are going after a high paying, secure job market career or are you thinking you want to be a teacher or artist? There is nothing wrong with pursuing your passion, even if it is going to be a low paying career. But it should affect how much in loans you are willing to take out.

The debt load you take on will determine what you can and can not do for decades after you graduate. And guess what? Even if you don’t get a job right out of college, you still have to find ways to make your loan payments. So you may end up living with your mom and working fast food to be able to survive. (A friend of mine’s daughter is cutting slices of cheesecake and plating them at Cheesecake Factory Restaurant to pay for her $75,000 in loans from culinary school. How many years is she going to have to work to pay back her loans??)

Take the amount you think you need to borrow each year, multiply times 4, and plug that into a loan repayment calculator online. (Maybe a fellow cc poster will post a link in this thread for you??) You need to see in black and white exactly what $100,000 in loans will cost you each month, and for how many years you will be struggling under this debt. And that is if you can even GET the loans.

My D is going to graduate with almost $20,000 in loans, much more than we would have wanted for her to have, but she works all school year and summers too, and each semester we get excited if she can borrow a slightly smaller amount of money. She most likely will have a starting salary in the low $40,000 range, but she plans to live simply and use a good percentage of her first few years’ salaries to pay off her loans and be done with them.

Your mom loves you dearly, I’m sure, and she sees what you cannot at this point. She understands the situation you are so willing now to lock yourself into, and maybe she wants better for you. There are thousands of colleges offering educational choices, and if you have missed the deadlines for finding an affordable choice you like, you can consider taking a gap year. Then, you could work and save up more money and make smart choices in applying to affordable schools next year.

Take some deep breaths, and reread the posts from folks who are giving good advice to you. Try to look at this situation from another point of view.

17

@sweetpopo163, are you in NYS? What was your M+ CR SAT score?

18

Thank you for your information and kind words! I am really stressing now because I never ever imagined that I would be in this sitation at all! I couldnt possibly imgine taking a gap year because my parents would be ashamed and everyone I know will too.

I had an 88% average my Freshman year, and I reached 1st honors overall my Sophomore year. I took 2 AP’s and an honors - but my grades dropped to a 82% my junior year because I worked 2 jobs and was volunteering different places during the shcool year, i didnt understand at the time how itll affect my GPA and my SAT (i have a 1350 on all three parts, never took classes, only self studied and failed at that obviously).

I thought that it was OK, since I had two internships, one of which at onw of the Big 4 accounting firms last summer, so i thought that my volunteer work and internships will be my leverage, But i was wrong. I feel really horrible because I never expected to get all those rejections and be where i am now.

19

Yes, I live in one of the 5 boroughs and i had a 1350 on all three parts :(. a 890 for CR and M

20

im really ashamed of my SAT score because I know its below average, but i never took it again because I knew I would have still done horrible since i couldnt afford/find a place to take classes. So i kind of just gave up on my SAT score