<p>Hi, can you guys read the cover letter below that I am planning to send to Goldman Sachs for a new analyst position? Let me know if I should change anything and if it is good enough.</p>
<p>To whom it may concern;
I am recent graduate of XXXX XXXX with Bachelors Degrees in Electrical Engineering and Physics. I am planning on pursuing a career in Investment Banking and I believe the Goldman Sachs New Analyst Program is an ideal opportunity for me to build my career.</p>
<p>Even though I graduated with an engineering degree, I choose to divert my career in to finances as I have developed a passion for investment banking from an early age. I believe the quantitative skills and work ethic I have gained by majoring in two rigorous subjects have given me the potential to succeed in the rapidly changing financial industry. I would like to assure you of my capability to become a successful analyst since I am equipped with necessary education and experience. I have completed a yearlong internship at XXXX XXXX where I regularly interacted with clients, developing and maintaining an in-depth understanding of specific product lines, product applications, competition, and markets. I am also fluent in database administration and related programming languages and have completed a computer track curriculum for my engineering degree. </p>
<p>I am certain that you have a vast amount of applicants with the same qualifications and skills that I have to select from for the above mentioned position. However, I believe my determined nature and refusal to quit until I achieve my goals is absolutely unique. I am ambitious towards building a long term career at Goldman Sachs, growing professionally with the company. It is an honor to be considered for an opportunity at your prestigious firm and I assure you that my performance will not be a disappointment.
Yours Sincerely,</p>
<p>XXXX XXXX</p>
<p>An early age? Don’t include that as they may wonder why you chose an engineering degree is from an early age you liked investment banking. Maybe say “my interest developed through my internship at XXX where I learned to use my skills in engineering to solve problems in finance/banking.”</p>
<p>The last paragraph is too cliched. A “determined nature and refusal to quit”? Everyone says that. Add an example of something you did at the banking job that shows these qualities.</p>
<p>Show, don’t tell.</p>
<p>It’s way too long IMO, they don’t want to read paragraphs</p>
<p>Your first large paragraph is good since it is specifically tailored to you and your specific studies. However, the paragraph after that could have been written by any student, especially this sentence: “However, I believe my determined nature and refusal to quit until I achieve my goals is absolutely unique.” Most Goldman Sachs applicants are determined and refuse to quit until they achieve their goals. I can assure you that it is not “absolutely unique” to you since I have a determined nature and refuse to quit until I reach my goals too ;)</p>
<p>Tell them why you are essential. What do you know about technology & science that can help you as an analyst? Ideally you should be able to tailor your expertise to a certain industry or technology. GL</p>
<p>If you can’t write a cover letter by yourself just to apply for a position… especially at Goldman… you probably shouldn’t be applying. </p>
<p>BTW… You have WAYYYYY too many “to be” verbs. C’mon, I corrected that common mistake in the 9th grade. People these days.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice everybody. I edited and summarized my letter and deleted the last paragraph. </p>
<p>@nuevoPuertoRican…■■■■■ alert…</p>
<p>Couldn’t you have the people at Penn Career Services look at your cover letter? I know they do those things for people. Have them take a look at it.</p>