Good friends in grad school?

<p>Do you still make really good/best friends in grad school as well or is it more of a professional world/ formal workspace sort of thing. Sorry for the randomness, I am just a college undergrad and am just curious.</p>

<p>I know some grad students who actually become good friends. I think anytime you are surrounded by people who share your interests, you’re bound to make some friends.</p>

<p>You can make good friends in grad school (or industry) but you need to remember that in your undergrad days you had a lot of opportunities to find friends based on shared social interests - clubs, student groups, parties, etc. If you hit it off great with someone you could hang out together outside of classes, and if you did not hit it off you could easily avoid them.</p>

<p>In grad school (and industry) those opportunities are reduced, and your professional / academic contacts are increased. You will likely become close to the other people in your lab (or research area) with whom you are spending 40+ hours per week but whether or not you really become friends? Who knows?</p>

<p>I would say you are less likely to make a great friend while in a grad program, but you will still have friends and people to hang out with. And since you will have a professional connection to them, they are likely to remain in your life regardless of where you wind up afterwards.</p>

<p>I love my roommate. He’s really a terrible roommate but a great friend and he’s my closest one here. You just have to find the right group of people. Don’t limit yourself to your own department.</p>

<p>My DD attended a large UC and even went Greek, I think she is in touch with 2 girls from that time. At her MS school they have a very friendly cohort, grad student dinners, get togethers for any excuse, so they are very social and she is having a lot of fun; I don’t know yet who will be a keeper friend ;)</p>

<p>So I assume a DD is not a designated driver in this forum. What is it?</p>

<p>DD = dear daughter</p>

<p>I believe.</p>

<p>DD = Dear Daughter
DS = Dear Son</p>

<p>Yeah, apparently parents on CC are too lazy to type out “son” or “daughter”. It’s much more convenient to hold Shift+D+D or Caps Lock D+D …</p>

<p>Just joking, you guys. It’s just an odd phenomenon that I have only seen on CC.</p>

<p>i always find it surprising that there are some parents who still feel the need/desire to stay so engaged in their kids’ lives. mine only know that i’m in grad school for a PhD, which will render me “a doctor but not the real kind.” they can’t even remember what my department is, much less what i actually do.</p>

<p>Different dynamics in different relationships. My parents know I am going for my PhD but do not know the school much less my specific research interest. My wife’s parents know everything about her plans, and she is not even applying until next year.</p>

<p>I have three kids in university and I am not really involved in their day to day life, but none of them do forums and all are happy to ask me to check on something on the board. I have gained enough help on this board I am happy to pay it forward.</p>

<p>Like most parents on CC, I got involved when my kid was in HS and I wanted to learn about options. CC was instrumental in my D2/D3 (:D) having great options and my DD at Berkeley is benefiting from what I have learned for her med school apps as Cal has minimal advising (useless you could even say)</p>

<p>There are incredible parent resources from around the country with excellent knowledge in all sorts of fields; I think most of us stick around on the cafe and post on these board to pay forward the help we received in the past. Thus, we are not so much helicoptering as trying to help others.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Absolutely true. Neither approach is right or wrong. Some people can’t imagine that parents would still be involved at all in their adult children’s lives, while others couldn’t imagine their parents not being involved. It all comes down to different approaches to parenting, different personalities, and different individual preferences.</p>

<p>personally i wish my parents cared a little more…it sucks feeling so alone in this terrible process.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>For the first couple years of my career, my father told people that my job title was “DNA”. He thought I was being a DNA at work.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>HAHAHAHA That is so cute and heartwarming… I am having a horrible week, but that totally made my day- thank you!!</p>

<p>my dad told some of his business associates, in front of me, that i am moving to new york (no) to attend harvard (no!!) to study genealogy (really, no). “none of that was right, dad.”</p>

<p>as for making friends at grad school… sure it can happen. you can make lifelong friends anywhere, in any environment. many people find their spouses in grad school, too. just be open to hanging out with new people and try to make a point of having one or two nights a week where you’re not thinking about courses or labs or research. go to a pub or a concert or a college game, something that’ll take you and your cohort out of the professional environment of a grad school.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>FWIW, I’ve seen it other places.</p>

<p>I agree with the people who are saying to look for friendship opportunities outside of the lab. Grad students can still attend parties, join clubs, etc.</p>