<p>This is the essay I wrote for the diversity prompt on the common application. Please read it and give feedback:</p>
<pre><code>I woke up to my dad screaming at my sister and me to get out of the house. It mustve been 1:00 in the morning. As my eyes were still adjusting to the darkness, I could make out a blaze of fire through my bedroom window. Someone had broken into my dads truck and set it on fire the night after Christmas 2008.
I live with both my parents separately (theyve been divorced since I was three). My dads house is just inside the city limits of Kansas City, Kansas, on the other side of the highway and across the railroad tracks. Our house is actually an old deli shop, Bid Ds Deli, thats been turned into our home. The old Boulevard Drive-In Theater is just across the street. My moms house, on the other hand, is tucked in the corner of Overland Park, Kansas, in a neat neighborhood with a nice yard and friendly neighbors. My parents incomes are significantly different; but this social diversity in my family has made me the person I am today.
That night on December 26 was one of many times in which our future seemed a little less bright. There was job loss, robbery, and my dads cancer. Dealing with everything as a child, I tried to make the best of what I had. Instead of going out every weekend, we stayed inside and had movie marathons. We didnt have a lot of money sometimes; on rare occasions, the electricity would be turned off because of a late bill payment, but we didnt mind. We made jokes about things that werent really funny in order to cheer ourselves up.
I felt angst towards my dad at some points; I blamed him for having to live in a hotel for two months because we couldnt find a new house. I would cry because I didnt see how my mom could afford a piano and my dad couldnt afford cable. It wasnt fair, I thought. I felt all this sadness bottled up in me for a very long time.
This year, in AP American Government, we read an article about 5 myths of poverty in the U.S. One of the myths was that people in poverty are lazy; this one hit me hard because my dad is the hardest-working person I have ever known. After reading that 65% of able-bodied people in poverty work full-time, I understood their difficulty and frustration; I was frustrated for them, and I was frustrated for my dad.
Now, as Ive grown up, Im able to appreciate the life Ive been given and Im actually glad that my dad was worse-off. Ive experienced so much joy, disappointment, and love that I know will help me understand better the world and the people in it. Ive learned to embrace diversity in all its forms and not judge people based on what they have, but who they are. I love both my parents with equal acuteness and I know they would do anything for my sister and me. Im one of the lucky ones and I hope that wherever my career takes me, Im able to help those less-fortunate to not only be able to provide for themselves but also to see that their situation doesnt define them. They should be proud of who they are and where they come from; I know I am.
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<p>Also, I'm wondering if I should make a title for this...??</p>
<p>You don’t need a title and I think this is a near perfect diversity essay. My one complaint if I have one is to “trim the fat.” at least every college I know has either a word limit of 500 words for 1 essay or 1000 for 2 essays. You’re writing style is great but you could focus on getting in, saying what you have to say, and getting out.</p>
<p>I woke up to my dad screaming at my sister and me to get out of the house. It mustve been 1:00 in the morning. As my eyes were adjusting to the darkness, I could make out a blaze of fire through my bedroom window. Someone had broken into my dads truck and set it on fire the night after Christmas 2008.
I live with both my parents separately (they divorced when I was three). My dad lives just inside the city limits of Kansas City, Kansas, on the other side of the highway and across the railroad tracks. Our house is actually an old deli shop, Bid Ds Deli, thats been turned into our home. My moms house, on the other hand, is tucked in the corner of Overland Park, Kansas, in a neat neighborhood with a nice yard and friendly neighbors. My parents incomes are significantly different; but this social diversity in my family has made me the person I am today.
That night on December 26 was one of many times in which our future seemed a little dimmer. There was job loss, robbery, and my dads cancer. Dealing with everything as a child, I tried to make the best of what I had. Instead of going out every weekend, we stayed inside and had movie marathons. The electricity would be turned off sometimes because of a late bill payment, but we didnt mind. We made jokes about everything, even if they werent funny, in order to cheer ourselves up.
However, I felt angst towards my dad at some points; I blamed him for having to live in a hotel for two months because we couldnt find a house. I would cry because I didnt see how my mom could have a piano and my dad couldnt afford cable. It wasnt fair, I thought.
This year, in AP American Government, we read an article about 5 myths of poverty in the U.S.; one of which was that people in poverty are lazy. This hit home for me because my dad is the hardest-working person Ive ever known. After reading that 65% of able-bodied people in poverty work full-time, I understood their difficulty and frustration; I was frustrated for them and I was frustrated for my dad.
Now, as Ive grown up, Im able to reflect on my life and I can say Im actually glad my dad was worse-off. Ive experienced joy, disappointment, and love that I know will help me understand better the world and all persons in it. I embrace diversity in all its forms and try not judge based on what people have. I love both my parents equally and I know both would do anything for my sister and me. Im actually very lucky and I hope that wherever I go, Im able to help those less-fortunate to provide for themselves and also to see that their situation doesnt define them. They should be proud of who they are and where they come from; I know I am.</p>