Grade essay please!

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience or observations.</p>

<p>My essay:</p>

<p>It is of paramount importance to doubt and question the validity of the decisions made by leaders. Throughout history, such lack of blind trust has led to the creation of new and often better ideas. </p>

<p>One may consider the concept of divine right of rulers to be an example. By questioning the authority of leaders, John Locke and others were able to introduce ideas of democracy and republicanism, which offer a novel, if not better, perspective on the role of government. John Locke not only cast doubt upon kings and queens, but also upon the leader of philosophical thought, Thomas Hobbes. In doing so, Locke was able to invigorate the field. Thus, the questioning of leaders led to a diversification and improvement of ideas.</p>

<p>Another manifestacion of the same concept may be found in Shay's Rebellion. The rebellion consisted of farmers opposing the decisions of government with force. The act itself cast doubt upon the decisions made by the powerful and wealthy politicians 18th century Massachussets, where it took place. The consequences included the ratification of the American Constitution. Therefore, once again, casting doubt upon leaders can have beneficial reprecussions, such as the development of more thoughtful legislation (i.e. the US Constitution).</p>

<p>With the examples of Shay's Rebellion and John Locke, one may note that historically and in the foreseeable future, we must question authority to make progress and introduce new ideas.</p>

<p>Isn’t a 5/12 really bad? Also, is it important to have three examples?</p>

<p>5 means 10/12! Not 5/12:P. Basically, when someone says a score, they normally say it from 1-6, and with that you double to get your final raw score. Your essay’s really good in fact, and I’d probably give it an 11 or even 12. What I’d suggest, if you are able to keep this way of writing, all you need to do is write a paragraph addressing your adversaries on the issue, like what SATvicki said. All in all, a really great essay.</p>

<p>Thanks :)</p>

<p>Any more opinions?</p>

<p>I believe that that this is a 3/6. Meaning a 6/12. Your examples aren’t elaborating on the questions. Tell us how the leaders were questioned, why, by who and a lot of info about it.</p>

<p>I’d give you a 10/12. :)</p>

<p>well I got a 12 on my essay in March, and I’d say this is probably an 8 or 9 out of 12. The actual essay is well written, but you only use 2 examples, and you don’t really explain each of your examples that well. And I also agree with SATvicki. You should include an example of a situation where there was a bad consequence when authority was not questioned. It would strengthen your essay a lot… If you really want to see what a 12 essay looks like, go here. Mine’s on the 10th page, if you want to read it.</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/409070-sample-sat-12-essays.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/409070-sample-sat-12-essays.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Thanks for the awesome feedback. I understand what you’re saying satman1111, but, I don’t see how on earth I’d be able to fit all of that into two pages! Can you use more paper? </p>

<p>When I finished the essay, I was thinking it was incredibly weak precisely because of the points you guys suggested (it doesn’t really do much analysis - it just points out facts). </p>

<p>Any ideas? Just write smaller, I guess?</p>