<p>Topic is from Rocketreview's book - Are even our best plans always at the mercy of unexpected, chance events?</p>
<p>Mishaps happen all over the world. Even the most precisely planned out mission is still subject to error. One example of this is the space shuttle Colombus. No one expected it to tear up in pieces, but it happened. Another example of this is from the book The Catcher in the Rye. The invasion of Iraq is also another example.</p>
<p>The Colmbus was indeed a great shuttle. There were millions of calculations that had been done to make sure that nothing would go wrong. Still, the engineers missed something. A piece of the wing was damaged during launch. This seemingly small error caused the whole shuttle to explode upon descend.</p>
<p>Books also show that something can always go wrong. In the Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield is forced to switch schools three times. Each time Holden has a fresh start but something always goes wrong. In the last school that he goes to, he finds that no one is honest and he describes them as "phonies". Also, despite hard work, he fails four of five of his classes.</p>
<p>When the United States invaded Iraq, it thought that Iraq had and was developing nuclear weapons. However, when it got there, it found nothing. All of the speculation and research had gone down the drain and the U.S.had no excuse to stay. It stayed however, and still today there are innocent people being killed. The small miscalculation erupted into a war.</p>
<p>Throughout history and literature we have been exposed to unexpected events. The invasion of Iraq, The Catcher in the Rye, and space shuttle Columbus are just three examples. No matter how hard on tries to abrogate errors, they are bound to happen. One should instead accept that they will happen, and expect them accordingly. If one does this, errors will no longer be "unexpected".</p>
<p>I haven't written an essay in a while, give me feedback on this please.</p>
<p>I’d say a 4 out of 6. Definitely not a 5, probably not a 3.</p>
<p>If the reviewer realizes the name of the shuttle was Columbia, not Columbus, he/she definitely wouldn’t be impressed.</p>
<p>And Holden isn’t an incredibly hard worker in Catcher and the Rye, was he? Maybe he was really studious, I read it a long time ago, but I don’t recall him being the hardworking type. Also, how is Holden switching schools a “best plan”? It’s not really much of a plan as the prompt means.</p>
<p>And invading Iraq on the basis of WMDs wasn’t much of a plan, it was more like an excuse ;P</p>
<p>I always try to stay away from touchy subjects (politics, killing, religion)</p>
<p>Definitely need to develop the body paragraphs more. Discuss the topic a little more in the intro talking about your views and general stuff about the topic, such as this is the common consensus, and this is what I think. If I were you, I would not repeat the 3 examples in the conclusion.</p>
<p>You have the basic structure of the essay right–intro stating position, three example paragraphs, and conclusion. My criticisms are that the language is a bit too simple, and the second example doesn’t really involve unexpected, chance events (a better literary example might be the things that happen in Garp, if you’ve ever read that). As for your third example, while it theoretically shouldn’t make a difference, I would question the wisdom of using a controversial example. Your essay will be graded by human beings, an inherently subjective process.</p>