Grade My Essay?

<p>I love you btw! :D
Topic: Are even our best plans always at the mercy of unexpected, chance events? (Yes, it's from Rocket Review, but GUESS WHAT. RocketScore doesn't work! YAY! So I'm asking ya'll to grade it here, at CC.) </p>

<p>Many of us have heard of the phrase, or have someone say, "My plans went awry." No matter how trivial or prodigious our plans are, there is always a time when plans go unexpectedly wrong. Therefore, no matter what we do, plans will certainly go wrong if it has already been fated. </p>

<p>There are many examples in literature when plans go awry. For example, in Shakespeare's Hamlet, Hamlet is a young boy who is trying to avenge his father's death. Although he is one hundred percent sure his plan to avenge his father will be a success, his plans take a turn for the worse and he ends up killing everyone close to him. This goes on to prove that despite the circumstances, plans will go wrong if that is the predetermined fate. </p>

<p>Yet another example draws from history which mimics Shakespeare's tragedy. World War II's main antagonist Germany had a totalitarian fuhrer whose plans to conquer Russia led to the collapse of the empire. Germany planned to conquer Russia even though Germany and Russia had a peace agreement. Lamentably, this led to the downfall of Germany- a great superpower- and the destruction of the world. </p>

<p>Another great example is The Odyssey by Homer. In this epic poem, Odysseus wants to return home but is stopped by Poseidon because he killed Cyclops, Poseidon's son. This goes on to show that even a great strategist like Odysseus is no match for the plans of fate. Even though he got his wish, he was still thwarted and had to battle monsters to get back home to Ithaca.
No matter what happens, our plans are always at the mercy of chance events. </p>

<p>Man cannot control fate and doesn't have the technology or resources to control it. This has been shown over time with Hamlet by Shakespeare, in history as in World War II, and The Odyssey by Homer. So, although plans may make one feel in control, most of the time, our best plans do go awry.</p>

<p>BUMP :d 10charcters</p>

<p>I would give this essay a 3-4 (on the scale of 6). This essay is generally well written (grammatically speaking) but lacks a cohesive argument. Although you are not graded on the accuracy of your knowledge in this section, it is a bit distracting when your examples are either incredibly vague (the Hamlet example) and do little to support your argument or a bit of an exaggeration (destruction of the world after WWII? Not so much). All of your examples are great, were they to actually provide some details. For example, how were Hamlet’s plans subverted? How exactly were Germany’s plans to take over Russia undermined (perfect time to mention Russian winters as an example of the fate that you so like to speak about but never clearly define in the essay)? To speak generally of fate is not good enough - you don’t define it and in fact you use several versions of it in your essay (our inability to control the actions of others, nature, supernatural). Hope this helps. When you think of examples, think of details and exactly how they develop your argument. Do more to tie them into the main argument than restating your thesis (which you do at the end of all your paragraphs). And if you’re not sure of a fact, try to think of a different example. But don’t make too many absolute statements in your essay, as you don’t know the viewpoint of someone reading your essay.</p>

<p>This was my first SAT essay that I’ve ever written.
Thanks! I’ll definitely take the suggestions in mind.</p>

<p>bump 10char</p>

<p>This is a response ot the SAT essay topic “Are even our best plans always at the mercy of unexpected, chance events?”
PLease grade it :slight_smile: (its my first attempt done in 20 minutes)</p>

<p>Yes, even our best laid plans are at the mercy of unexpected, chance events. THroughout the play “A Doll’s House” by Henrik Ibsen, various characters - Nora, Krogstad and Torvald - lays a plan in an attempt to enhance their lives but ends up taking a route completely astray from the route they had planned to take, and thus ends up doing just the opposite of what they initially intended.</p>

<p>Krogstad, the antaginist of the play had planned to gain back his honorable job position at the bank by threatening the bank managers lovely wife Nora.Because Nora was a flirt who easily manipulated her husband, Krogstad believed that Nora’s request will be accepted by Torvald and he would earn his position back. But unexpectedly, Nora fails to convince torvald and considers committing suicide. And soon thereafter, another unexpected event - kristine linde’s request to become a family- throws off Krogstad’s original plan.</p>

<p>The notion that even our best plans are thrown off by unexpected events is also supported by the fate of the protagonists of the play 'A Doll’s HOuse" - Nora. When NOra borrowed money through fraudery, she planned on paying back the lender with out anyone else- especially her husband- finding out about the fraud. BUt through an unexpected twist of events, the money lender found out about her fraud and decided to report it to Nora’s husband. Nora, who had initially planned to cover up the loan through her own abilities, was left devastated.</p>

<p>The idea that our best laid plans may be thrown off track is yet again supported by another key character in the play “A doll’s house” - Torvald Helmer.
Torvald, who had originally planned to keep his subserviant wife Nora with him forever, realizes that his wife has changed, matured, and discovered the ability to talk back to him. Torvald’s plan is shattered when Nora requests to “talk” with Torvald about treating her with equal respect, like a wife, not a child or a pet.
Torvald, shocked through and through, refuses and thus loses his belived Nora.</p>

<p>Thorughout the play “A Doll’s HOuse”, Krogstad, Nora and Torvald all had to abandon their plans and had to find a new path. All three realized that life doesnt the way they had planned and that even their best laid plans are at the mercy of unexpected, chance events.</p>