Grade My Essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Educators debate extending high school to five years because of increasing demands on
students from employers and colleges to participate in extracurricular activities and community service in addition to having high grades. Some educators support extending high school to five years because they think students need more time to achieve all that is expected of them. Other educators do not support extending high school to five years because they think students would lose interest in school and attendance would drop in the fifth year. In your opinion, should high school be extended to five years?
In your essay, take a position on this question. You may write about either one of the two points of view given, or you may present a different point of view on this question. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.</p>

<p>As an old African proverb states, “Learning to manage time is the skill most desired. “ Although more may now be expected of today’s high schooled, there would be no apparent benefits to extending the length of high school to five years. High school should remain four years long, time management skills can be developed with the high expectations and an extra year of schooling will not necessarily achieve more.</p>

<p>First and foremost, admissions officers are humans who understand now difficult high school
can be. As a Yale admissions officer told me, “We are not looking for Nobel prizes or Olympic
medals. We are simply looking for a high school student who has given their best effort, has
potential, and would thrive in our Yale community. “Admissions officers realize that a student is only a student, and for this reason there is no need to extend the length of high school.</p>

<p>Furthermore, tackling the increasing demands of high teaches an essential life skill: time
management. George Carver Washington would often work on twelve different inventions at
once, and for managing his time so efficiently, he would eventually rise to the status of a
prominent black inventor.</p>

<p>Finally, there is no reason to believe that an extra year of schooling will result in a more
successful career. Bill Gates is well-known for dropping out of top-notch university, yet he has started an extremely successful company, Microsoft. Extra schooling did not help him. While some may say that an extra year of high school may allow students to achieve more, there is absolutely no reason to this. If an extra year of high school were allotted, the demands would simply be increased even more.</p>

<p>In conclusion, high school should remain four years long. Admissions officers understand the
difficulties of being a high schooler, time management skill can be honed, and there is no
evidence that extra year of high school would be helpful.</p>

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<p>Any one grade it???</p>

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<p>Big,</p>

<p>I would give this essay a 9. You know what direction you want to take the essay in, and you clearly stood with that which is great. However, your body paragraphs are too short! In your first body paragraph you gave a great example with the Yale Officer and the quote. However, the very last sentence connected to the actual prompt. You need to develop your ideas more. If you did, this could really become an 11. Perhaps add on and say:</p>

<p>“Yale is just one example; many other top post-high school institutions stress the importance of time management; within these 4 years students must learn to balance academia, sports, and extra curriculars. These truly aid students in developing themselves and preparing for the future.” </p>

<p>The next body paragraph is again, too short. You just need to develop these ideas. Don’t be repetitive! But you can definitely say more about George Carver Washington. Incorporate more why the 4 years is great, and why 5 years is bad. That in itself is an essay writing strategy; talk about why your side is good, give a shout out to the other side, but then shoot it down immediately. “While I can understand the rational in a 5 year program, I believe it hurts more than it helps.” A simple sentence like that adds a lot to this particular essay. </p>

<p>Lastly, vocabulary is a must. You MUST incorporate SAT vocabulary in your essay. Don’t be overt; sprinkle high level vocabulary in cautiously. SAT vocabulary pushes fully developed solid 11s to 12s. That’s a given fact. Sit down and come up with a list of SAT words with simple meanings and learn to incorporate them into your essay writing and you’ll write phenomenal essays.</p>

<p>Hope I wasn’t too harsh; the essay is good, don’t get me wrong. But I see a lot of potential in it, so I don’t want to hinder you without pointing out some flaws. This is a good essay. 3 body paragraphs is the way to go. Nice quote at the intro. But you can definitely make it better. Hope I helped, good luck :)!</p>

<p>~Aceventura74</p>

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<p>many thank Aceventura74!! And very helpful!</p>