My daughter has been accepted to Washington and Lee, Bryn Mawr, Randolph,Juniata plus a few others
My daughter feels that Washington and Lee wouldn’t be a good school because of its Greek life. There are parties three nights of the week, she was told that there is a lot of pressure to have sex and do drugs because of these parties
Bryan Mawr on the other hand doesn’t have Greek Life,and it’s all women.
My question is, what’s a parent to say? Don’t go to the school with Frats because of drinking and drugs or go to the “safe” schools like Bryn Mawr or Randolph?
She is so worried about this she can’t decide on the best schools academics.
Your daughter does know that going to a school that has Greek life does not mean she is required to attend these parties…right? Just because a school has a Greek system does not mean the academics of the school suffer. I would look at those two aspects of the school independent from one another.
The percentage of students who join Greek-letter organizations at Washington and Lee is much higher than at many other universities – 85% according to one online source. So if this student is not comfortable with Greek life, she might not be happy there.
It’s different at schools that have Greek organizations but where the Greeks don’t dominate the campus.
In general, I agree with kgos16, but Washington and Lee is a different school. 80% are greek, which far exceeds other big greek schools. You need to be comfortable with the greek scene to be comfortable at W&L. That said, everyone is not having sex and doing drugs. While I am sure some are, as there are at all schools, it is possible to find friends and enjoy the school who are not.
I’d say that Washington and Lee would not be a good choice for her. And it sounds like she’d love Bryn Mawr. Why is she even considering schools with a big Greek presence when she does not want that sort of social atmosphere?
Greek life doesn’t always mean parties. If she wants to join greek life she doesn’t have to party. Not all sororities are crazy party houses. All sorority houses are dry by rule. She’ll still be able to party as much or as little as possible. For example, I haven’t partied in about a month due to an extremely busy schedule, I’m just fine.
But if your daughter is uncomfortable with greek life as a whole and can’t see herself joining a house, I would not recommend going to a school that is 80% Greek. She will be an outcast from day one.
I can’t imagine the same student being happy at Bryn Mawr and W&L. These are wildly different social environments. If she wants to avoid pressure to party, Bryn Mawr is a great choice. Randolph and Juniata are a big step down academically.
I agree with @Hanna. Bryn Mawr is a great choice. Given the bi-college connection with Haverford, students from both Haverford and Bryn Mawr take classes at both campuses so there are guys around.
Both W&L and BM provide an excellent education and have beautiful campuses, but thats about where the similarities end.
W&L is VERY greek, very southern prep, the females dress up all the time, not overly diverse, conservative leaning politically, located in a small town with not much around and focus is purely on campus activities where the greek system dominates.
Bryn Mawr is more diverse, no greek, focus on Quaker values of community and acceptance, more liberal leaning, located in a suburban area with very easy access to a city with great arts.
If she doesn’t think she wants to be part of Greek life she shouldn’t go to W & L. You can’t avoid it there. In addition while Lexington is a lovely town to visit and there’s a fair amount of things to do in the area (especially outdoors stuff) it’s pretty limited in its offerings.
One exercise that might help is that she should try to list out all of the things that she likes about each school. If she objects to Greek life (which is apparently 85% of the student body at Washington & Lee), there has to be some compelling reasons (academics? location? cost?) why she applied, right? If she can remind herself what those reasons were, she can probably evaluate them to see if they outweigh the downside of feeling socially out of place at that college.
I agree with the person who said that it’s implausible that one person could be a great fit for two wildly different schools like that. I don’t think that you necessarily have to tell her which school to pick; it sounds like she is being cautious and thoughtful already, but actually listing out why she applied to each school might help her organize her priorities and decide what she really wants.
Social pressures exist on most campuses. I suppose going to a women’s college would alleviate some of that. But, just because a fraternity is “there” doesn’t mean you have to attend its parties! I have been to many, many fraternity parties in my life (on a Greek dominated campus) and honestly didn’t feel compelled to have sex at any of them! (and didn’t) Drinking was going on, but it was optional. Some nights I would have a drink or two, some nights I wouldn’t!
And there were plenty of other things to do on campus, so even with a Greek heavy school you don’t have to participate in that if you don’t want to.
Does your daughter feel comfortable making her own decisions and turning down a party she doesn’t want to attend? That’s part of growing up, but some kids mature at different rates, and there are some personalities who are more easily swayed into doing things they aren’t comfortable doing.
Only you and your daughter can answer that!
“I suppose going to a women’s college would alleviate some of that.”
It’s a different world at Bryn Mawr. Maybe a different universe.
“But, just because a fraternity is “there” doesn’t mean you have to attend its parties!”
No, you can sit in your dorm room and watch TV while every girl on your floor attends. We’re talking about W&L specifically, not Greek-heavy campuses in general. This isn’t Alabama, where there are thousands of non-members. W&L just doesn’t make any sense for a student who is turned off by Greek life.
Outcast?! That’s a rather strong term–and perhaps telling.
I’m with Hanna. 80-90% Greek at a small school is a significant issue if you don’t want to be part of it.
Was she told this by someone who actually attends/attended? If not then I think it’s unfair to prejudge. Any chance she can attend the Accepted Students Day, and better yet the accompanying overnight to get a better feel of actual life on campus? Some feel that the high percentage of greek life at W&L makes it more inclusive as virtually everybody who seeks a bid obtains one. Not a view shared by all, I recognize.
Unless there is some reason why W&L would be the best school for her, why even consider it? The fact that one part of the school is so overwhelmingly not what she wants would make it an easy one to cross off. Plenty of other schools in her mix that will be better, or at least easier, fits.