<p>It seems as though there is a subset of people around me who are more "mature" than me in several ways--and I don't necessarily mean in terms of not celebrating the college spirit.</p>
<p>Here are some trends I am noticing...</p>
<ol>
<li>Serious part-time or full-time jobs while taking classes.</li>
<li>Pay most/all of their own way through their education. </li>
<li>Ridiculously responsible with budgets and finances.</li>
<li>Financially independent.</li>
<li>Engaged or married.</li>
<li>In a serious long-term bf/gf relationship.</li>
<li>Complete more ECs and take more difficult classes.</li>
<li>Are more "free" in terms of what they permit themselves to do--vacations without notice, etc.</li>
<li>Buy several expensive personal items on their own--even things like cars, wow.</li>
<li>Handle problems with roommates/friends/coworkers extremely maturely.</li>
</ol>
<p>Basically, these people are kind but confident, independent but friendly/social, and face problems rather than avoiding them. They are not afraid to fail, but strive hard to avoid doing so...and frankly, I'm sick of being emotionally five years old. How should someone like me start to "grow up," so to speak?</p>
<p>Hopefully at least some of this makes sense, and thank you in advance!</p>
<p>I think I get what you mean. The people you’re mentioning seem to have a lot of responsibility or simply the means to do what they want. Some of what you referenced is easily fixed- don’t take “easy” classes, get a job, etc. As for money…some people are born to immense wealth and others aren’t.</p>
<p>Growing up entails being more responsible with the cards you are dealt. If you aren’t dealt a hand where you can pay your way through school because you don’t have any scholarships, then that’s okay, ask your parents for money. That doesn’t make you any less grown up. But if you do nothing, start doing something. Join some clubs, meet some of these cool people, and just pick their brain. Say, “Hey, you seem to be a high achiever. What advice do you have for someone who [is like me]?” </p>
<p>Most of what you said was interpersonal relations and starting conditions (the money stuff). So the only way to have better interpersonal relationships is to branch out to people.</p>
<p>Stop trying (and just avoid those who are uptight). Seriously, my life improved sooo much when I ultimately decided to embrace my inner 5-year old</p>
<p>I understand what you mean, but remember that you don’t have to behave like everyone else. Make your own path. Create your own category. There’s no need to beat yourself up because you don’t find into the categories listed in the OP.</p>
<p>^ If you’re paying a lot of money out of your own pocket, there is no such thing as “too seriously”. The only people I’ve seen with that attitude are there on their parent’s dime and just don’t give a ****. </p>
<p>I fit every single criteria that you’ve listed (except that I’m no longer officially engaged), but I also full embrace my inner 5 year old. I can be the least mature person that anyone knows, but when push comes to shove I can handle damn near anything- and I do. You have to find a balance.</p>
<p>ETA: The only way to “grow up” in the way that you want is to get a job and start taking over your own bills. I never realized how much I appreciated things until I started paying for them. I also wasn’t great at saying “no” to unnecessary things until EVERYTHING came out of my own paycheck.</p>
<p>You can never take college “too seriously” as romanigypsyeyes also points out. My roommate and I have the same outlook on college which is what you do now in college will make it easier or harder to put food on the table (so boost the GPA up now so when you graduate you can get a good paying job). </p>
<p>That list pretty much sums me up except for number six (I’m not in a relationship). I didn’t choose to be the way I am; I had to because I wasn’t fortunate enough to have parents to pay for everything so I had to do it myself. I can say that I’m more mature than most college-aged students my age because I joined the military services when I was 17 years old and seen a lot of the world. I have a lot more appreciation and very thankful to be born in America after seeing the living conditions of the villages in the countries I’ve been to. My service allowed me to save up enough money so I can go to college, pay off my car, and pay bills. </p>
<p>The military taught me responsibility plus a lot of other things so being in college now ultimately I want to graduate with a great GPA and a stacked resume but also have fun along the way which is why I joined a fraternity. I hold a lot of variety of offices in my fraternity which keeps me busy when I’m not working on school work plus the mixers we have makes my nights exciting. </p>
<p>I like being busy because it makes the semesters go pretty quick and when I finally get to go to Spring Break or take a week vacation in the summer it feels more satisfying and recharges my battery. </p>
<p>What I’ve noticed with these new 17-18 year olds who enter college is that they are highly dependent on their parents and aren’t used to doing things on their own especially the new guys that pledge my fraternity. It also astounds me as to how lazy most of these guys are too but that’s a different story. I make sure to guide the new guys in my fraternity or to help them if they need anything.</p>
<p>If you are tired of being immature as you say then why don’t you do something about it instead of crying on the forums. We can’t make you do anything you have to go out and get it yourself. Don’t be afraid to fail because that’s how you learn and nobody even the most successful people haven’t failed at least once in their lives.</p>
<p>The personal characteristics you describe come only after you have a solid, core sense of who you are. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. The more responsible you are, the mature you will be.</p>
<p>No one can give you confidence & feeling of competence - it comes with solving your own problems. No one can give you self-esteem with words or praise - it comes with achieving goals, helping others, and living with integrity.</p>
<p>When you see people taking vacations without notice, it isn’t as spontaneous as it may seem. They are able to do this because they have planned ahead.</p>
<p>I teach financial literacy, career skills and ‘life skills’ to music students. Two of the major awarenesses we work on developing:</p>
<ol>
<li>Always knowing where your Important Papers are, which also entails learning how to tell if a document is Important.</li>
<li>Always knowing when your bills are due, how much (roughly) they are, and whether you have the money to pay them, which also entails learning to at least create a budget and hopefully stick to it. :)</li>
</ol>
<p>My students tell me that once they’ve gotten a reliable system in place for both of those things, not only did their stress levels decrease, but they had this intangible feeling of confidence. I think this is some of what you’re sensing from the students you identify as ‘grown up’: they are projecting the confidence that comes with Getting Your S*** Together.</p>