I'm Not EMOTIONALLY Ready for College

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>I'm going to be a high school senior this fall. Right now, I'm participating in the Harvard Secondary School Program (basically paying $11,000 to take a course or two at Harvard over the summer). From what I've experienced so far (I participated last summer as well), I don't think college will be as great as high school. Why?</p>

<p>High School:
*Teachers actually give a care about you (usually).
*Laid-back feeling
*You never have to study.
*If you mess up, you can still save yourself.
*You have a sense of who you are (goth, jock, etc.)and can take pride in your identity (I'm a nerd, by the way.).
*Even if you're introverted (like I am), you can still easily make friends (or at least acquaintances); you're in a place where "everyone knows everyone".</p>

<p>College:
*Although professors are pretty nice, they don't really care about you.
*Formal
*Homework is hard and so are tests.
*If you make one mistake, you start to spiral out of control, especially since you get fewer tests/assignments.
*Lost sense of identity; sometimes I feel like I'm just like everyone else in the program.
*Big place; harder to get to know classmates; pretty much no one knows me.</p>

<p>People say that college is better than high school because you're free, but with freedom comes responsibility; responsibility that I'm not ready for yet. Another reason they say it's better is because it's more mature than high school. How is that better? It just makes college sound boring. Yet another reason is that you can skip classes. Why would you do that? You'll have to make up all the work and learn all the stuff no matter what. </p>

<p>I think the biggest problem for me is that college is the beginning of adulthood, and I'm just not ready to grow up yet. I want to stay a kid for a few more years. Is college REALLY better than high school? I highly doubt it.</p>

2

<p>Buck up. Sounds tough but it’s the way things are. Sooner or later you’ll have to grow up. </p>

<p>1) professors do care, but they won’t hold your hand or coddle you. They’re responsible for making you ready for real world employment, and that means making sure you can stand on your own two feet. </p>

<p>2) formal? If anything, it’s professional. Sometimes.</p>

<p>3) yes the courses in general are harder but… It is college. And you’re working to be competent in your field.</p>

<p>4) one mistake won’t screw your whole college experience. College is challenging; it’s suppose to stretch you a little. Yes, you need to study. Probably a lot.</p>

<p>5) I don’t think it’s a loss of identity exactly. You’re thrown in with people who are similar to you or have a similar interest. You have more depth that! Defining yourself by a high school stereotype is largely inaccurate. You’re more than just a “nerd”. You have your own likes and dislikes and hobbies. You’re totally unique. </p>

<p>6) it can be really scary to be surrounded by people you don’t know but it’s just another one of those things we have to get past. You won’t be able to stay with the same circle of friends forever. Besides, getting to know new people is amazing because you can learn so much from them. Some you will like, others not so much, but just be nice regardless. Try and make friends (roommates!!). You don’t <em>have</em> to go through all this collrge stuff completely on your own (study groups!)</p>

<p>Yes, college entails a lot of responsibility. Period. You have to get up on your own, motivate yourself to study and do work, and own up to what you succeed/fail to do. And “mature” doesn’t necessarily add up to “boring”. I always say mature = work hard, play hard. There’s a time and place for everything. You can still tell stupid jokes and goof off with friends (think about it, everyone in college has their own personality, too. They’re not all cookue cutter gray suits), but if in the midst of all that you start to slip in school, it’s time to buckle down (for a little while anyway). And skipping class isn’t really condoned… The only difference is you have to OWN UP TO YOUR ACTIONS completely. </p>

<p>If you feel so strongly about this, take a year off to do some growing up. Or maybe commute to a community college while holding a job of some sorts to ease yourself into the level of work. And you never know, maybe being a senior will change your perspective. </p>

<p>P.S if you’re taking Havard classes, I wouldn’t chalk up all college courses to the same difficulty.</p>

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<p><em>faints</em></p>

<p>I think you’ll adapt faster than you think, but unfortunately I don’t have any specific advice.</p>

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<p>Retain your sense of identity at all costs. Youmust have a certain skill set or hobby that differentiates you from.everyone else.</p>

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<p>You’ve only experienced one college. Yes the material will probably be harder than HS no matter where you go and yes, many course are structured so you don’t have as much grade padding from homework, etc - sometimes a grades is a midterm, final and a few papers (depends on major). But there are plenty of colleges with caring professors, even if it is more up to you to approach them and ask for help.</p>

<p>And just because you technically can skip classes, doesn’t mean it has no consequences. It’s just no one is going to call your parents if you miss or get behind. You may just fail the class.</p>

<p>Maybe Harvard, or school like it, is just not for you. Get a college list together and plan some visits, preferably some where you can sit in on classes since you have something to compare it to.</p>

6

<p>That’s college, go hard or go home.</p>

<p>College is hard, but you have to find your rhythm and you really have to keep on top of things. College is what you make of it, really. If you don’t spend you time wisely, college can suck. While someone else can find time for studying and friends usually have the best time.</p>

7

<p>Cross that bridge when you get to it. You’re only a rising senior. People grow up a lot in one year.</p>

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<p>You might be a student who would prefer a small liberal arts college. My D1 attended one, and she ended up babysitting for professors, having coffee with them, etc. Also, they aren’t such “big places” – in fact, some students say by the end of junior year they can feel too small (but a lot of students take advantage of programs in junior year to study off campus, which helps offset that). </p>

<p>Yes, you will have to work hard in college. But again… if you want an easier experience, pick a college where your test scores and grades are on the higher end of the pool. You might also cut the price down (merit aid).</p>

<p>Here is the other thing – you can apply to a few different types of colleges, then decide after accepted student visits in the spring among your choices. Last spring my D2 had acceptances at a top research university, a women’s college, a few liberal arts colleges (ranging from tippy top down into rankings around 40, with merit aid from several of them), and a technical college. She took her time, went for accepted student visits at her top 3 choices, then selected one. So if you change what you want between now and spring of senior year, applying to a few different types can help keep your options open.</p>

9

<p>Bucknell is #1 on my college list because it is closest to home (45 minutes away), so I would be able to come home on the weekends. I know Bucknell is the largest private liberal arts college in the U.S., but it’s still pretty small.</p>

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<p>Harvard is not the same as other colleges, especially SSP, where many students attending do not actually attend Harvard.</p>

<p>Don’t form opinions around such a small sample size/narrow view</p>

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<p>Judging by your list, and the sweeping generalizations you’ve made based on a couple of classes in a summer program, I’d agree that you might not be emotionally ready for college.</p>

12

<p>I experienced this same thing when I switched from private middle school to public high school. I went from being one of sixty-five in a school of 140 to one of 560 in a school of 2,100. To say the least, I was lost freshman year. But hey, so was everyone else. That’s freshman year for you. It’s an adjustment period. I was incredibly introverted & inhibited going in, but I slowly started opening up and talking to people. I feel a lot more confident about myself now. I almost feel like a different person.</p>

<p>I was really mad at my parents for making me switch but they said they wanted me to see the “real world” before I went to college and had to do it on my own. I see their point. I don’t love my high school, but it’s not terrible. You get used to it and it’ll be better for you because you’ll be at a college you chose.</p>

<p>As for not wanting to grow up, just because you turn 18 doesn’t mean you have to “grow up”…</p>

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<p>^I thought you were entering high school, as you said on another thread…</p>

<p>Possible ■■■■■?</p>

14

<p>When did I say I was entering high school? Are you talking about my response to StarJazzy? I told her middle school grades don’t matter once you get to high school, which they don’t. I got ridiculously high grades in middle school while some of my friends got B’s, but then once we all got to our respective high schools they started earning A’s as well. That was three years ago. I’m a rising senior now.</p>

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<p>One of your concerns is about being able to make friends, but you’re considering a school where you would be going home every weekend? That won’t help, at all.</p>

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<p>@1sparkle2: Sorry for the misunderstanding then.</p>

<p>Also, has OP visited other colleges?</p>

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<p>@Apollo11</p>

<p>It’s fine.</p>

18

<p>You’re not ready for college now but believe me, in a year you’ll be more ready. It’s called gaining maturity, naturally wanting to move on to bigger and better things. It just happens. You may be surprised at what a difference that year makes. I agree with the other posters though-- a LAC may be more to your taste than a big state U. At a LAC you will have a greater chance of small classes where the professor not only knows your name, but may also care about your performance in it.</p>

19

<p>I just graduated college. I think a lot of the problems you mention could be fixed if you went to a small school like Caltech. Also a lot of them aren’t that bad and you can find people to support you through the transition.</p>

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In my experience you can find professors who care about you if you take small upper-division classes and go to office hours. I went to Caltech though which is a really small school. Also you can do research with professors, and I had an academic advisor who was a professor and gave me career advice.</p>

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In my college things were really laid back. People wore T-shirts to class and stuff. The dress style was a lot more relaxed than high school.</p>

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<p>This is true and you have to be careful about it. But if you find yourself spiraling you can always talk to the counseling center and they can give you support and academic help. There are a lot of resources on campus available to help people who are making the adjustment to college. That is what RAs and the counseling services are for</p>

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<p>I think you just need to take advantage of the one-week window of opportunity at the beginning of college. If you make friends there then it’s really easy to make friends. In general I feel like it is easier to get to know people in college than in high school because in college you live with people, whereas in high school everyone goes home every day. You can just go out to eat whenever you want, while in high school things have to be coordinated</p>

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<p>You’re very mature to realize that. Most teenagers don’t. And then they skip class and do poorly. Freedom really is overrated.</p>

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<p>Trust me, college kids aren’t adults…if you live on campus people cook and clean for you etc.</p>

20

<p>Thanks, everyone. fizix2, your post was especially helpful (although I could never get into Caltech).</p>