OK so just an overview of my situation; a 23-year-old woman living in Denver Colorado I work two jobs and attend Metro State University as a transfer student. Between my two jobs I work about 50 hours a week, my first job that I’ve had for two years is that a paint store/art supply store. I mostly have this job because it allows me to get a discount on the supplies I need for school and because it’s pretty close to home. My second job I got about two months ago because the company I have worked for doesn’t pay enough to keep my bills at bay, so this other job is a kitchen job and is much faster paced and has become my primary source of income. It’s good money and hours but it’s hard work. I was living on my own for a while but at the beginning of the semester I was lucky enough to move in with my grandparents and have been “renting” their room. But renting I mean my grandparents are horribly sweet people who have refused to take my money but instead will charge me rent and put it in a savings account for me. I do still have a like insurance, car payment and phone payments to make, but luckily I am not throwing away my money on rent yet. I’ve saved about 1,800 so far and I was hoping to use to move into a new apartment with my boyfriend. However, this has changed and I’ll explain.
I paid the last semester entirely by myself with my tax return, to take some weight off my parents because they haven’t been paying for all my schooling until recently. Their financial situation has only worsened, work is hard for my father to find, and so now I’m more than likely going to have to use what I’ve saved so far for be next semester, but what I have will only cover like… half or three quarters of it. I have some finacial aid but it only covers a little. So my first problem is this; I don’t want to ask more of my parents as they have three younger mouths to feed, I can’t afford to work any less it seems if I’m gonna be in school. But then how can I earn more money if everyone wants to see a degree first?
The first college I attended and transferred from was Rocky Mountain College of Art & Design, whcih was an interesting experience. As a freshman sophomore in high school I had heard about RMCAD and specifically wanted to attend for their illustration program. Not many schools of a program meant specifically for illustration, which is something I feel my work very comfortably fits into, so I went there for about a year and a half before realizing they were not the school I had hoped they’d be. Many of my other colleagues at the school we’re having similar problems as I at RMCAD. The administration was shortstaffed and very disorganized, it was common for them to lose your information or your paperwork, your advisor would take a week or more to respond to you in email, it was rare to find them in their office to talk in person, most of the faculty left when the school changed ownership, they were forcing students to take a hybrid of on campus AND online courses… it was disappointing but I was transferred to MSU, hearing a lot of great things about their BFA program. I lost half my credits from RMCAD, some art foundation courses and a couple gen ed courses like history which really bummed me out, so this semester I took four classes that are prerequisites to all the more in depth courses I want. Studio 3D, studio 2D, English 1020 and an online history course.
It was A bit of a shock to go from a small quiet campus with barely anyone on it to one smack dab in the middle of Denver with thousands of people on campus at any given time, but it was exciting at first. Unfortunately a new problem has reared its ugly head.
I’ve always been a somewhat anxious/nervous individual but over the last month or two, probably partly due to my poor sleep schedule I’ve become increasingly stressed, apprehensive, I struggle being able to focus, I worry a lot, almost to the point where I put myself into a paralysis where all I can do is fidget, nervously flip through my papers like I’m gonna start doing something and just pace around. An hour to two will pass and I will have gotten almost nothing done or the work I did do will feel forced and will just be low quality overall. It all culminated into a huge blunder last week when I skipped two days of classes because I woke up really late one those days, had a panic attack about it, and couldn’t ease myself enough to drive to campus. The second day was due to staying up all night trying to pull a project together and then by the end of the night, feeling so ashamed of my poor work that I just gave up before the day even started. I was up til 5 working on this cardboard sculpture thing and decided that I couldn’t even show my face in class because I would’ve been a damn mess. So I went to bed and slept the day away. Wasn’t very restful, so I question what good it did me. Where these overreactions? Yes. But it’s done now and I can’t take it back.
Anyways, come the next week, and it was fall break. I hadn’t realized until I DID come to campus Monday and then found that no one was here. Went home and decided to bury myself with work and took some extra shifts this week to make some money for the holidays.
Now it is the following Monday, and i should be in class but I found that my social anxiety has become restless at this point and I cannot bring myself or walk into class. We technically have one more week after this one but my teachers all scheduled this week to be the Final one, which I found out today. Meaning I’ve past the due dates for the last couple things, which means I get a 0. I am 90% sure I am going to fail all of my classes this semester.
I apologize at the novel I wrote but Im just very lost and wanted to seek help from others in school. I don’t have a lot of friends who are in school, half are In the military and the other half just jumped into the work force. my folks are convinced that a college degree is the most important thing for me right now and I don’t disagree with them, I just don’t know how to fix this; do I take less classes to keep the cost of tuition manageable? Cons are that it’ll take longer to get my degree than usual and my financial aid will be minuscule if I’m only a student part time. I could work less and give myself more time for classes and studying, etc… but then how will I help my folks pay for tuition? I’m not one to ask others for money. I’m not good with sports, my grades have been average my whole life, so schoalarships aren’t out here for me.
I know that I need to work on my time management and organization when it comes to how I set myself up for the next semester. I also know that to change my results I need to change my process, but I don’t know where and I’m what aspects of my life to start making cuts. I feel trapped like I can’t get out of the loop I’ve put myself in. Am I just not ready for college yet? Am I ever going to be able keep up with the pace of everything?
Go and see your professors. Tell them what happened and what you will do to prevent it from happening again. The professors don’t want to fail students. They want you to succeed. MSU is a big school but you can find your little corner of it.
If you can’t drive to school, take light rail. Work less or find a job closer to MSU where you cut down on the commuting. Are you getting all the FA you are entitled to? The Colorado stipend (I think it is $75 per credit). Go talk to FA if you need help
See if any of your profs will let you take incompletes to finish up the work. And working that much and going to school is probably not workable. When do you turn 24? Have you used up your Pell grant eligibility?
Make an appointment with a psychiatrist about anxiety.
Talk to the Dean of Students about what to do.
You may be able to get a medical withdrawal.
If you are passing your classs, you may be able to get an incomplete.
You may need to drop down to 1 job + school.
Great advice above. I want to add that you should stay with your grandparents so that you don’t have additional financial pressure. Maybe cut back on the art store hours to get some rest.