Harvard may be callng- what advice should I give

<p>My son was waitlsted at Harvard and accepted a spot a Penn. Although Penn was not initially on his radar- he is now very excited about it. He got the dorm he wanted, he has friends going, he loves the location.</p>

<p>Well his college counselor called and told him that Harvard called today and asked for his grades. He has not been admitted but is under serious consideration.. If he ends up being accepted he will have a short time to make a decision. He is interested in Internatonal Relations, History with an undecided career path ( possibly law, possibly academia or government. My sons intial inclination is to stay with Penn- although he would have gone to Harvard in a heartbeat if he got in initially.
This is his decision-but I know he will be asking my opinion. Any advice would be appreciated.
by the way- Penn gave us a generous financial aid package</p>

<p>If both schools end up being 100% affordable then let him choose. However, if Harvard’s FinAid is a lot better, then I think that you should push Harvard.</p>

<p>No one’s life is going to be ruined or impoverished by choosing Penn over Harvard, or vice versa. There’s no real downside in this choice. So he should do whatever he feels like doing. If he feels committed to Penn, fine. If he chooses Harvard, I predict that it will take him about 9 minutes to feel fully committed to Harvard.</p>

<p>The one thing I would say is that often kids feel they HAVE to do something that they don’t have to do at all. If he gets offered this opportunity, he should take a few hours away by himself, and think quietly about what he wants. Not getting advice from others, or listening to discussions of pros and cons. Just what does HE want.</p>

<p>If your S will be receiving as generous a FA package from H, or even more generous, would that be a factor in your recommendation? [Perhaps you can ask the college counselor to let H know of your S’s Penn FA award, and pass on that the amount of the FA award from H WOULD be a factor in his decision]
this statement-
“although he would have gone to Harvard in a heartbeat if he got in initially.”
Makes me think that he should grab the offer from H, all else being equal. I worry that he might be kicking himself in a year or so if he turns H down. He can probably transfer into Penn if H does not end up working out for him.</p>

<p>Congratulations. This is a very good problem to have.</p>

<p>I think you need to ask your son the real reason for picking one school over another. If he truly feels Penn is the right school for him after he has done more research, then that’s the school for him. If he is choosing Penn over Harvard because Harvard rejected him initially and Penn welcomed him, then he should try to get over it. It wasn’t personal, and he is also not a less qualified candidate. I wouldn’t let his pride/ego get in the way. Both are good schools, just make sure he is picking one over another for a very good reason. I think Harvard would offer him just as good of package.</p>

<p>If Harvard does admit him and the package is not as good, that is the time to speak to the financial aid office about Penn’s offer. It is most likely that they will at least match it. That is, of course, if your son is still interested in attending Harvard,</p>

<p>The main problem for your son is going to be the shock of having this choice. I would be surprised if Harvard’s financial aid offer is less than Penn’s, in my opinion Harvard’s financial aid policies are the best in the nation. There might be a temptation to give Penn the reward for having wanted him from the beginning, but don’t make the decision out of a sense of loyalty. On the college’s end of things decisions about admission are business decisions and it should be for you too. Forget about the past, where does he most want to be and are there financial issues? And congratulations to your son, that is quite an accomplishment in any year, especially this one.</p>

<p>We went through this with one of our kids and a private high school. He was all set to go to another school, had been talking to future classmates and was happy and feeling settled when the call came from the waitlist school. His biggest issue was feeling it would be a slap to his friends if he bailed and went to his original top choice school.</p>

<p>After taking time to think through why the other school was his original first choice, realizing there was another peer group he’d also enjoy at the waitlist school, shaking the thought the the waitlist school hadn’t wanted him in the first place and understanding he would not be a traitor, he went to the waitlist school remembering why he had wanted it so badly in the first place. He loved it and never looked back.</p>

<p>If your DS wants Harvard, he and the counselor should both call or email to say so quickly.</p>

<p>And I’m a Penn alum! I like the school a lot but it’s not Harvard. If aid is an issue, Harvard’s is much better.</p>

<p>Just think that the person who decided to give up his Harvard spot, who had just a little bit better qualification and the financial means/aid, for something, <em>Better</em>.</p>

<p>Not everyone matriculates to Harvard, I think their yield this year was 76%, which is typical. This year they offered a conservative number of admissions because noone knew what to expect with economy the way it is. Then their yield turned out to be the same as in past years so they were underenrolled. They’ve been taking people from the waiting list for a few weeks now.</p>

<p>My daughter was in this position last year. She was unsure of how to react as well, but ultimately decided to remain pretty neutral until an actual offer was made. In doing so, that is, not really following up with the interest, the spots were given to two other classmates.
These spots were actually for the “Z List”, meaning that H was offering the spots for the following year (class of 2013 rather than 2012). At the time H called the counselor, no mention was made of that. It was around the same time of year, June, so it may be possible H is considering your son for class of 2014. Maybe not though. This may make a difference to him.</p>

<p>I’ve never entirely understood the psychology of staying on a waitlist and then getting attached to the school that you are in at. That said, I think it should be his choice, just make sure he considers it well. Harvard isn’t right for everyone and Penn is a good school.</p>