Harvard Students: Self-esteem issues?

<p>As much as I try to be a good person, I can't help but imagine feeling a mixture of jealousy, disappointment with myself, and even bitterness should I be in a classroom with someone who is obviously better than me at what I do. Suppose I'm a gifted math student taking the same classes as Evan O'Dorney at Harvard (that's where he plans to go, I think). Does it make me a bad person to feel "depressed" about how insignificant I am in comparison to a guy like that? I feel that such feelings are inevitable, especially considering that Harvard professors would pay attention to only the best students. How do you maintain your self-esteem?</p>

<p>Any comments on how to handle or control these feelings? Anyone personally deal with this?</p>

<p>I am quite embarrassed to ask this question. I apologize beforehand if I'm just messed up on the inside.</p>

<p>Did you even get in?</p>

<p>Haha, don’t worry about those things. You have to get in first.</p>

<p>I think professors would pay more attention to those that have the passion. Who would want to teach a brilliant kid with no passion (although most kids at Harvard do have passion)? So I guess what I’m saying is that you don’t have to be the smartest - just show who you are and professors will appreciate that, especially if you can persist all the while knowing you aren’t the smartest. One good life lesson to learn is to accept your capabilities; however learn what they are. Focus not on what you can’t do but what you can!! I have had personal experience (if that’s what you’re asking for) with an older brother who is smarter than me and surrounded by students who are smarter, richer, and have more opportunities (mostly because they are richer and have parents that do a lot for them) than me in my classes, but the reason why my teachers and peers respect me is that, despite what I can’t do, I do all that I can with I can do…if that makes sense at all. lol. </p>

<p>But yeah, don’t say you are messed up in the inside. I’m sure we have all experienced some type of those inferiority feelings, but what you want to do is turn that bitterness into something productive. Don’t turn it into cut-throat and vicious competition, but say what can I do to turn this energy I use in jealousy/bitterness into energy of passion, love, etc. Trust me, not always are the smartest the most successful, but those who love what they do will show others around them (like the professors) that they care, and earn respect from their peers and professors.</p>

<p>Know and love thyself and success will follow. :)</p>

<p>Oh yeah, don’t compare yourself to others, but say to yourself: did I do <em>this thing, event, etc.</em> with MY most effort? Did I do everything that I could do (while being ethical, lol)? Or something like that…lol, I don’t think I’m making sense here…</p>

<p>If your personality matches up with exactly you have written above, then I’m thinking you constantly analyze how is this person in front of you better than you. Don’t do that…it’ll just put you more in a depression - because you will search for the things that make him better, and only focus on those qualities. Then if you fall in a depression, you won’t be productive…</p>

<p>So what class are you taking, specifically?</p>

<p>You are going to meet people better than you in everything for the rest of your life, including the thing that you yourself are best at. Harvard is probably a good introduction to that, so consider it an opportunity to get used to it.</p>

<p>@xjudokax, @1042394059681729</p>

<p>i haven’t gotten into harvard, nor do i have any specific class in mind. i have yale in the bag, though, so i’m going to have to deal with intense competition either way. i posted here just because i’m focusing more on my pending applications.</p>

<p>@nine9knives, @DwightEisenhower</p>

<p>thank you for your constructive post. i’ll keep what you said in mind. i guess as long as my goal is to “be the best” in something, i’m setting myself up for failure. i just have to learn to be content with my abilities, and my best efforts, because it’s up to me to determine how happy i am.</p>

<p>i just want to say that this isn’t a “omg how can there be someone better than me” post. i’m fully aware that i’m just average among good applicants. i’m just not used to being surrounded by people who are amazing in my “field,” and was curious as to how current students at Harvard or a similar institution feel about and handle this issue.</p>

<p>You’ll get used to it quickly.</p>

<p>I guess I’m just not sure what you mean by “taking the same classes as him.” Have you already taken analysis, algebra, topology, and things like that? He and I have been in similar courses for several years at Berkeley.</p>

<p>^i haven’t taken advanced math courses. i was just talking about a hypothetical math student, and used evan as an example of a prodigy. by the way, what’s it like being in a classroom with evan? : )</p>

<p>Don’t worry, a lot of people get [Impostor</a> syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome]Impostor”>Impostor syndrome - Wikipedia). Coincidentally, everyone I knew who got into MIT had it.</p>

<p>^whoah, there’s a name for it</p>

<p>Don’t compare yourselves to others. Just be the best that you can be.</p>

<p>@Felix </p>

<p>He’s a really nice kid, and a very talented mathematician. Like I said, I haven’t ever been in the same class as him (like I would take Analysis while he took Algebra, and vise-versa), but I have spoken to him numerous times. We also were in the same homeschooling group as children. </p>

<p>As far as to answer your original question (I now understand it better)…</p>

<p>I just returned from a visit to Harvard yesterday, and was fortunate enough to sit in on a few classes. While I was in a class that was something I had previously taken, I would say that the students in the class weren’t just whizzing through the material. Accomplished people are people too. Just because you started taking Calculus at 11 doesn’t mean that you don’t struggle with the concept of a Laplacian when you first learn it (or something like that; bad analogy, I know).</p>

<p>I seriously wouldn’t envy Evan O’Dorney. He has one of the worst cases of autism I’ve ever seen. Have you seen the interview on the Morning Show?</p>

<p>well, i would envy his math skills. evan o’dorney was just an example of the kind of prodigy i expect to be scattered around harvard.</p>

<p>@xjudokax</p>

<p>haha so did you start calculus at age 11 (and are you applying to harvard '15)? it’s so cool that you know evan. home-schooled people are so intense…</p>

<p>Evan O’Dorney?
Lol, he is not even * that * good at math.
He is just one of the IMO-ers.</p>

<p>Pretty average among them, actually.</p>

<p>My countrymen from Korea and the ones from Russia are pretty strong.
US isn’t that good anymore.</p>

<p>^Do some fact checking.</p>

<p>

Dude, Evan O’Dorney is not the star in the USA IMO team.
Why don’t you go do some fact checking?</p>

<p>2010 United States of America 6 7 5 7 7 7 39 2 99.81% Gold medal
2009 United States of America 7 7 7 2 7 0 30 54 90.60% Silver medal
2008 United States of America 7 4 0 7 7 1 26 78 85.58% Silver medal</p>

<p>He got silver twice, and only gold * once *.</p>

<p>Tiankai Liu?
Christian Reiher?
Reid Barton?</p>

<p>

The only reason you probably know Evan is probably that he was on CNN for the Spelling Bee.</p>

<p>Get * your * facts right.
There are other some really crazy geniuses in the world, leave Evan out of it.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Actually, he may be as atypical a Harvard student as any. Evan is an autistic prodigy whose computational and memorization skills are profound, but who has (at least, a couple years ago had) the typical communication and relational challenges that individuals with autism face. OTOH, the modal Harvard student is usually charming, witty, and equally talented intellectually, creatively, and socially. There aren’t a whole lot of people who combine those characteristics, but then Harvard is at the top of the college admissions food chain, and so probably gets the lion’s share of them. My Ds had been considered outliers their whole lives before Harvard - they wanted to go there specifically to be immersed in a group with that kind of all-around brilliance. For them, it’s not been a hit to their self-esteem; it’s been higher education DisneyWorld. Most of the students at Harvard were hometown celebrities, and Harvard is their first experience at being average within their setting. What’s nice (I’m told) is that arrogance and snobbery, if once present, rarely survive that transition. Once you get over the self-esteem issue, it should be the most inspirational and invigorating aspect of the campus.</p>