<p>If you are not from the South, do not underestimate the good ol’ boy culture that still exists. I am a life-long Southerner, with deep rural roots and I am still shocked at the biases and stereotypes that exist outside of the major cities (where there is an influx of people and ideas from all over the country). Not to say that Southerners aren’t fine people, but it is still a very conservative region - political and religious.</p>
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<p>There’s nothing inherently wrong with orange cars with tiger paw prints (shout-out to Princeton, LOL) nor is there anything inherently wrong with joining a fraternity (there ARE historically Jewish fraternities) or watching / enjoying football games. I don’t think the poster is necessarily concerned about these things. I think she doesn’t want her son to be the Campus Curiosity Piece for being Jewish and / or having same-sex parents, and I don’t blame her. </p>
<p>And there is a difference between being a curiosity piece in the sense of “huh, I’ve never met one of those before, but well, you go do your thing and I’ll go do mine” and a curiosity piece in the sense of “we don’t cotton to your kind around here.” For example, just to pick on Grinnell – small-town Iowa isn’t necessarily a hotbed of Jewish life, but there are plenty of Jewish kids at Grinnell and the new president is, himself, in a fully “out” same-sex relationship and no one blinks an eye at it. So if the poster had said, “My son’s interested in Grinnell, but I’m concerned about small-town Iowa,” I’d say “don’t think twice, not a problem.” I can’t speak for Clemson, but I think it’s fair to say that in many parts of the south, it’s not quite as open.</p>
<p>If he likes highly-intellectual environment, maybe he should check out Swarthmore.
They only have general engineering major, but if he plans to go to grad school anyway, that could be a very good place for him.
No merit aid, and low acceptance rate though. But they are relatively very generous with need based aid.</p>
<p>chai - I was born and reared in Marin County with a number of friends who share your son’s background, and earned my undergraduate degree from a university in the South. I strongly urge you to spend more time looking in the West, Midwest, and Northeast for schools that meet your needs.</p>
<p>I’ve been away from my computer all day and just logged in to a very lively and enlightening conversation. So far today, my son and I have decided to skip Clemson and to apply to Rose-Hulman. He is applying to Swarthmore–loved it when we visited last year despite the fact that it’s not an engineering heavy. He actually really liked the access to the liberal arts. In fact it’s the only liberal arts school he’s applying to.</p>
<p>The main takeaway for me is to try hard to find him a place with at least a strong core of people he’ll feel comfortable with–preferably with a lot of diversity so he gets the exposure to new thoughts, new ideas, new ways of being and thinking–but where there are others with backgrounds like his so he feels safe and at home, too.</p>
<p>Applying widely is our strategy and it seems to be born out by what I’m reading here–since we need financial aid, we’ll apply widely and see what comes.</p>
<p>thank you all!</p>
<p>chai everymorning is indeed about the spiced black tea I can’t live without in the morning–but the double meaning suits me fine!</p>
<p>Definitely look into USC and UCLA: both have excellent engineering programs. USC has outstanding financial aid packages. (Not so sure about UCLA due to the budget…) Since I am very familiar with this area Jewish will be very accepting, West Hollywood’s influence will be comfortable, and the schools are top 25 in the nation.</p>
<p>Definitely look at Rice - they have great engineering, an active Hillel, great financial aid AND merit scholarships, and nice size school (something like 3200 undergrad/2400 grad) - and liberal campus in a liberal city. Don’t let the “Texas” part scare you away from looking at it! ;)</p>
<p>anxiousmom, Rice is on his list. I do have one question, unrelated to my original topic. Rice–and some other schools, ask for a list of everywhere you’re applying to. It seems like just a way to decide whether to waitlist you or not–</p>
<p>No… they do it for marketing reasons…want to find out where else students are applying. My kids filled it out completely and both got accepted. I have heard of students only listing some schools, but I really don’t think it matters one iota! :)</p>
<p>chai, you may want to read the 4th post in this thread:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/551953-bu-supplement-asks-names-other-colleges-applied.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/551953-bu-supplement-asks-names-other-colleges-applied.html</a></p>
<p>Don’t forget Cooper Union. A huge long shot to get in, but then no tuition.</p>
<p>Chai,</p>
<p>I have a suggestion. there is a web site (I can’t spell it out here since CC censors pointers to other sites). It’s a site where current students and alums come and share their thoughts on the university/college in question.</p>
<p>They categorize the comments as in “positive” “negative” “neutral” “advice”.</p>
<p>I only check negative comments because I want to see if there is a dominant theme to the negative comments. I understand that some kids are unhappy even in Utopia and are griping about everything. However, if there is a clear theme that is consistent and frequently cited, then it’s a cause for a concern. </p>
<p>For instance, about one Ivy school, the dominant theme of the negativity was the corrupt, inefficient, and unresponsive school officials. Wow… In another case, it was all about too much drinking and completely dominant/oppressive Greek presence that overshadows everything. In one southern school that seemed like a good fit for my son in other ways there was a clear negative theme emerging (diversity issue). In yet another school, the dominant theme was faculty indifference. Of course, sometimes, the main theme of the negative comments was actually good stuff: like too high a standard expected by the faculty and not enough “social” activities (as in, not enough drinkers to drink with). </p>
<p>This site has been enormously helpful in putting together my S’s potential college list.</p>
<p>For your son, if you just spend 30 min for each candidate school you have in mind, you can easily see whether a particular school is a big no no for him.</p>
<p>If you don’t know about the site, and would like to try it, PM me.</p>
<p>can u give a hint…?</p>
<p>I try to PM you, but there is no option for sending a PM to you…</p>
<p>lizmane: </p>
<p>Sounds like an interesting website. Can you let us know more or PM me the details?</p>
<p>Chai, </p>
<p>As a liberal, atheist Washingtonian attending the University of Alabama, I’ve never had problems being a political and religious minority in the South. Your son will find friends whom he feels comfortable being around. These friends might share all his views or they might not. I have friends who are at the opposite end of the political spectrum and ones with different religious views from myself. Of course there are people who disagree with my politics and religious views, but I don’t know of any school where that wouldn’t be the case. Quite frankly, I appreciate having a variety of viewpoints so that I can better understand my own views and also so I can see the world from different points of view.</p>
<p>As for being Jewish at UA, UA has actually had quite a large number of Jewish students throughout its history. Back during the 1930’s when schools in the NE had Jewish quotas, UA advertised it’s lack of quotas and many Jewish students came down, attended UA, and now many of their descendants attending UA as 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation legacies. Also, UA has had a gay-straight alliance since 1982 and it is very active around campus.</p>
<p>I understand the finances issue very well and that’s a major reason why I highly suggest visiting every college that your son has been accepted to. Whether your son chooses to attend a school in the South or somewhere else, what we can all hope for is that he is happy and successful in college and in life after that.</p>
<p>Best of luck in the college search and selection process. Fell free to send me a PM if you’d like.</p>
<p>[post removed by me]</p>
<p>No offense was meant to anyone who owns an orange car with paw prints or belongs to a fraternity - I was simply trying to point out behaviors that would be in contrast to the OP’s. My post speaks to all of us as we let our kids go at a time in their lives when peers are still very influential. This is why I am thanking the OP again for this question!
And now for some chai tea…</p>
<p>Rose Hulman is a fabulous school. Both my father and grandfather attended, and I recruit there all the time. Great, super-smart kids, really engaged faculty, and a terrific campus.</p>
<p>Engineers, in general, really could care less about your political or sexual leanings, and less about the leanings of your parents. Add me to the list of people who don’t think that most kids at most colleges…even more conservative ones in more conservative parts of the country… will find a person of a different religion or sexual orientation to be that big of a deal anymore. Even in rural Alabama, people have cable tv and internet.</p>
<p>The bigger issue, to me, as a parent of a kid who would have been a great match, even socially (he’s a very straight kid) to a school like BYU, which is mormon, (our family is Presbyterian), was…what if my son met the girl of his dreams at college and she was Mormon. Well, he’s not a Mormon. Our faith says that you don’t yoke yourself to a non-Christian. Well, if you only have non-Christians around to date, how do you deal with that if you want to date? So ultimately, despite the affordability, the great Business program, the conservative social environment and the D1 volleyball program…he decided he needed to “pass”.</p>