Doing this virtually is so hard. But I agree with @DoingOurBest – this phenomenon happens even without covid.
So much emphasis is placed on doing well in high school to get into college and the excitement of the acceptances that just getting in feels like the goal has been achieved. And the relief of having it over, too! While less the case this year, seniors are often really enjoying their status at school – they’ve learned the ropes, have friends and leadership roles, and the next step puts them back at the bottom of the heap.
With that said, deciding based on virtual visits feels so hard. I would just keep watering the "you will get to go there in person " seed.
He likes his classes well enough, but he’s virtual three days a week. On his in-school days, it seems that none of the kids show up, at least for the fellow seniors. Very often he is the only kid in class, sometimes one or two more. He has had to eat lunch in an empty classroom by himself. He said it’s depressing and unnatural. I’ve let him stay home virtual a couple times because he seemed so sad about going live.
Same here about the screen time. They did the hybrid model (2 days live/3 virtual) where instead of 8 periods a day, it’s for four 85 minute blocks (it takes two days to get through one “day”). No teacher can give a lesson for 85 mins so it seems they do their homework/classwork for the rest of the time, and I don’t see him doing any homework after “school”. Same for my middle schooler. 85 minutes is brutal and way too long for anyone to pay attention.
What’s sad at his HS is that with fully virtual much of the year and hybrid now (2 days in class/week) and with none of the seniors showing up on their live days (which is allowed if they just check in via virtual homeroom) is that the senior class is obliviated and it’s not coming back. They don’t get their deserved status, leadership, prom, awards, or any sense of togetherness. There are only little groups of friends (or just kids alone). I know what you mean about going back to the bottom of the heap, now they have to dive back to the bottom jumping off from nowhere, worse yet if they have not even seen the college in person.
Yes… all of your statement - Yes! D21 was not motivated at looking last year. I helped with research and pushed to consider schools. We have been fortunate to visit a few of the schools - before and during covid (with extreme caution). Safety acceptances came in and there was no hurrah. Top choices were deferred and we wait for these decisions.
Does NOT want to talk about college. Gets overwhelmed by the mere conversation. I want for this to be such a good experience but somehow feel like it’s more stress than it needs to be.
I would not push at this point.
I would be gathering info on various things he may want to consider as he makes his choice. Then I would say “I know you dont’ want to talk about which college yet but I have gathered info on things to consider when deciding when you are ready to talk about it.” Honestly until the end of April he doesn’t have to make a choice.
Also he probably won’t go wrong at any of the 4 choices…he may have a hard time because the differences will be so subtle to him.
Do look into requirements for him…like if there is a foreign language requirement and he hates that or a coop requirement or whatever.
Thank you. I’m trying to give him space. I did look at all schools for language requirement and for computer science major none of them required it. That would not have been a game changer necessarily, but I don’t think he wants to do a language, so it’s a good piece of info to know. I wrote up everything for him, he just has to get to it and we need to set feet on a campus.
Mine hit the wall long ago and still hasn’t decided (granted still waiting on some final information from some schools). We did set feet on campuses in the last six weeks and it did give some clarity albeit more a reshuffling of the deck than cutting the deck size. As another poster mentioned part of my D’s struggle is they all have + and - that net to them being relatively close choices overall.
Several encouraged applying for additional departmental scholarships and special programs and the applications require yet more essays. Her response: so over writing essays. She gets a daily reminder that the departmental application deadlines are approaching.
It is somewhat comforting to know we are not alone .
I love your name, btw. If I would change mine, it would be NaggingMom21.
COVID has really done a number on S21’s motivation. I have to constantly remind him of virtual events, deadlines, getting homework done (new this year), etc. I remind him that he won’t have me for a personal secretary next year, but then I feel bad because, honestly, he is just sad and bummed out about senior year. It’s just a lot going on, and even smart, mature 18 year olds are still, well 18 year olds.
I am taking care of everything for him and my 8th grader much more than I did before they were home nearly all of the time. Although he is useful for shoveling snow like today. What will we do next year when he’s gone and we have to shovel on our own? My husband and I are too old for that.
I don’t mind taking a covid test 72 hours before getting on the plane. But we’re trying to visit schools in New York and, even with a negative test pre-flight, they still require 3 days of quarantine, then another negative test (which I assume will take anywhere from 1 - 3 days to get the test results back). So right now, I’m looking at spending 4-6 nights quarantined in a hotel waiting for the results of the 2nd test. Only then, IF it’s positive, can we then go and visit the school – which, lol, only takes 1-2 days?! NOT blaming NY. Their travel restrictions make sense. Just that it’s so hard for these kids…it’s literally every little thing. I guess the positive is that we’re still 100% at home and virtual for school. So when we get back home, it’ll be no problem quarantining at home. Ohhh, the silver linings.
Fortunately my senior is still engaged with the college process (as far as wanting to visit the colleges that she gets into, etc.). But she’s been completely checked out of school ever since winter break. I hear her video gaming with her friends pretty much every day now, sometimes before lunch?! Thankfully she’s already been accepted to a few of her top choices!
We were fortunate enough to finish all our college visits by mid-Feb and both kids found their school of choice. They applied ED and got accepted so that made things much less complicated in their lives. We are fortunate the private school they attend allows them to choose daily if they attend classes in person or go online so we have done some travel to help everyone’s mental state. Praying their freshman year of college is somewhat normal.
Sheesh! I can’t stand that she’s making such a huge decision when she’s in such a funk! I don’t blame her for being in a funk, we all are! Just terrible timing!
S21 was fit and ready for soccer in August, then season postponed until now. He is out of shape and not sure he will make the team now. All the other seniors play club soccer so they are ready. Say he’d be OK being a manager, but I feel so bad. It is just too much disappointment.
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