<p>I wanted to say thank you to all who provided support and information as we were making our where to go to a college decision in April and I was, well, flipping out. I’ve been out of commission then because of complicated shoulder surgery, getting some sort of viral crud the same day as surgery (bad idea, don’t do it!) and some other unrelated health problems. I’m still not really supposed to be typing ;)</p>
<p>When we left off, I was agonizing over the “we didn’t get any merit or financial aid at his pretty much top choice LAC’s (Oberlin, Brandeis, U.Rochester)” vs. “U. Md. is a decent, affordable choice but it is 10 minutes away and for goodness sakes on the SAME street as his HS!”</p>
<p>To cut to the chase: My son’s final decision was U. Md and he is very, very happy with the choice (despite the fact that he originally only applied there as a back up in case my H and I died and he had to live at home to raise his younger brother!) Below you will see some of the deciding factors and the process that got us there. The key factor in the end were that it truly turned out to be the best overall MATCH for him. </p>
<li> We went to the visit day and we were blown away by the government and politics department. It offered more depth, intensity and opportunities overall than the other schools he was considering (although each that he was considering had something special). He especially liked that he could do a joint masters in public policy (though I had to explain what a masters was!) and that he could earn a BS (as he could as some of his other choices).</li>
<li> The honors program was MADE for him – it wasn’t just a prestige thing. He loved the entire philosophy… the way it OFFERED 70 seminars a semester capped at 20 students, just the type of interdisciplinary classes that turned him on at Vassar and Oberlin, but only 5 in 4 years were REQUIRED; on the other hand, 1 a semester was guaranteed – it was up to HIM to decide what to take advantage of (he hates requirements! but he always challenges himself and loves learning.) He liked that small honors sections of many, many university courses were offered – but again, not required – he could take other sections if they fit into his schedule better, if he wanted to be invisible, if he liked another professor – and ditto with the not required/but offered outings, discussions, summer programs, dorms, travel etc etc. He liked that the program was made up of students in every school and major, from soil science to arts to business to engineering.</li>
<li> We went through a year’s worth of check stubs, charge bills etc and figured out every cent we could REALISTICALLY cut from our budget… and looked at interest rates and social security payouts etc… and spoke to financial aid counselors… and figured out that we could just manage it at the private schools if we all decided that it was a family top priority.</li>
<li> We made a list, with our son, of the pros and cons of the top schools, including Maryland— we asked him NOT to consider money (not sure if this is really possible – by then Maryland had offered him 2 years of almost full tuition scholarship and we’ve pre-paid 2, which we don’t get back dollar for dollar for use at another school) – but we tried. We were exhuberant in praising all the schools for their plusses as well as ruthless looking at the negatives.</li>
<li> The LAC drawbacks FOR HIM (not for another student, or in general) were clear… S liked them very, very much but he was afraid they would be over the long run too small, in a location he became bored with and that he would regret the debt that either we or he incurred. Their plusses were clear – but they didn’t seem to be so unique as to be unreproducible over the course of his life or his college life elsewhere. He also felt more and more that he wanted a university. Academically, he was concerned that some of the departments seemed very small and not diverse enough intellectually.</li>
<li>The drawbacks at U. Md. seemed to him to be unrelated to his core values about college. The architecture was boring, it was too close to home, it was too much of a sports school, it was big… and many of the “problems” like large classes, easy to get “lost” in a large school were automatically solved by being in the honors program. Most important to him, and the original drawback of most large universities, was his interest in interdisciplinary studies and that his college life be intellectual, explorative and not too “pre-professional” also seemed solved by the honors program.</li>
<li>And he fessed up to several things: He HATED the thought of debt; he wasn’t sure he felt ready to go as far from home as I thought he should feel (!) and as he first thought he was able to go; he felt pretty special getting into the honors program because most of the kids getting into it from his school were the kids who had gotten into the ivies and had done really special things in HS (he thinks he got a lucky break somehow!) and he was actually really impressed with U.Md.</li>
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<p>So, we are now all happy! I’ve had such a rough time this month… I am so relieved to be saving, let’s see, about $130,000, while I am out on disability leave and not sure when I will be going back to work… (soon I hope!) but very in touch with the fragility of one’s economic situation… My son can now NEVER say that I forced him to go to Maryland… and as a side benefit, he no longer hates me for “making” him take French 5 (his one “C”)… because now he satisfies the departmental language requirement by taking 3 consecutive years of the same language in HS (had he stopped at French 4, 2 years would have been in middle school!)</p>
<p>Thanks again, S</p>