<p>Thanks - this is all very helpful. I discovered a group on Facebook for this university and there are a couple upperclassman who are answering questions on the discussion board. There is a discussion about overnights which the students encourage. I'm finding ds can learn a lot about the university just by reading the discussion board. </p>
<p>He's got to want to do the overnight. At least he's now willing attend the admitted students visit day. Before the overnight was discussed, he said he didn't want to go to that.</p>
<p>Suzu...just remember, admitted student days are real "dog and pony shows". They are set up to encourage accepted students to attend. The schools REALLY put their "best foot forward" and do lots of things that will appeal to lots of different types of students. The overnight that DD HATED was not part of an accepted student event. No dog and pony show. It was the way the school REALLY was.</p>
<p>Still...it's nice to see just how these schools handle these days...what they schedule, how efficiently they go about their business, the different events prospective students can attend, etc.</p>
<p>My first two stayed overnight and both loved the experience. The third went to a college where an overnight wasn't offered. I was really put off by this as the past two experiences were so great. But it ended up that the third went just as well without the overnight. </p>
<p>Every school is different and it seems that the schools the kids went to seemed to fit them just perfectly...sometimes a little too perfectly.</p>
<p>My D did a two-night stay in a dorm at Cornell. She came back with a very different and more mature pespective about what it would be like, the good and the bad, to be away at college. This is a girl who had never spent a night away from us other than an occasional sleepover at a friend's house within our suburb, so we didn't know if she'd freak out alone in Ithaca or not. Her host was a bit unreliable and strict but my D didn't assume the whole university was that way. She's now mentally more prepared to "go away" to school. But we don't yet know which school. Her two-night stay was last fall before admission decisions were made.</p>
<p>She's was recently invited to a two-night stay at her flagship state u where she has been admitted, but has decided not to do the overnighter. Instead, we'll drive out for a daytime session for accepted students. I think she's seen enough of this particular school to make up her mind without sleeping overnight in a dorm.</p>
<p>I would just like to throw this one out there...I don't think that many main stream students would offer to host overnight to random prospect students, good or bad. Overnight stay may not give you the right insight into the school, especially if it's a big school like Cornell or PSU. My D1 actually came away very negatively on one school she was very interested in after an overnight. They told her that they studied most of the time, and there weren't that many parties. I think it's better if you could get someone you know to host it, you could get the real inside scoop.</p>
<p>I do think overnights are good, just to see the campus outside of class and see what real college life is like. I definitely recommend the admitted student days. Yes, as thumper said, they are trying to show you how great the school is. But i did two admitted student days. One had my schedule packed with activities. The other there wasn't as much planned. Even though i knew that at both schools, these were not the average days, i felt that the fact that at one school all the students were constantly performing/having activities with whatever club they were in just made me feel like everyone there was more into everything they did. And the schedule by the university just made me feel like they cared about the students more. So i picked the school where the admitted student days had more to do (it was my first choice already anyway). </p>
<p>on a side note, my host at the college i didn't choose was a lot better. she made sure to take me to dinner and her roommate took me to hang out with some of her friends (i was there a night before it officially started). The host at the school i chose i really didn't see the whole time--just when i went back to the room to go to sleep. So yes the host matters, but i think you can get a feel for the school no matter who your host is. </p>
<p>so definitely go to admitted student days, and if possible, you could try visiting another time to see what school is like on most days.</p>
<p>To OP: I agree that you shouldn't push it with your son -- as someone said, different personalities take those things differently (a sense of privacy, even unspoken fear of being away, etc.). At 17, I was ready for the adventure even though I'd never travelled by myself before. I planned my entire trip by myself, calling each target school's admissions office and arranging my own overnights w/then current freshmen. I booked my own flight into NYC and overland travel to my various destinations. I'm a very outgoing person and rarely feel awkward in social situations. I felt I was able to evaluate my schools and also keep the differing personalities of my hosts and their friends in context so as to not overly affect my view of the schools.</p>
<p>I found the interactions to be very helpful. When I told my hosts at one school that my last destination was my eventual HYP alma mater, they were like:"Oh. That's cool." but conveyed a sense of insecurity or inferiority on THEIR part. Really bizarre.</p>
<p>Regardless, on my plane ride home, I replayed the various things I'd encountered and was able to more wisely form my "rankings".</p>
<p>Again, if your son doesn't see that as a good adventure, then don't push it. Even if he does go, it seems like a good opportunity to tell him he may not "click" with his host or host's friends -- then what's he to do? A good example would be to ask if he had to spend the night at the home of a HS classmate that was the polar opposite of him right now. How would he handle it? Breaking one out of a comfort zone may not be that painless. </p>
<p>My son did two overnights as part of the dog and pony accepted students events. I figure even if they are putting their best foot forward there are still differences. The nature of the events and the way they were organized, were very much in line with the way the two universities operate. He had a good time at both, but a better time at the place he ended up. For him I believe it was the right choice, in fact the overnight experience was probably a bit of a warning. He stayed (Sunday night) with four guys - 3 of the roommates were drama guys and one was in comp sci. The comp sci guy, did not stay up and play video games till the wee hours with the prospies. He had problem sets to work on.</p>
<p>Spending time on campus while students are present, attending classes, eating in the caf, exploring the surrounding area, etc are all important. Doing an overnight, not so much.</p>
<p>My D did an overnight as an accepted student. She was not a good match with her host student at all. She eventually enrolled at that school, but it took her awhile to get over the experience and she was doubtful about her choice for a long while.</p>
<p>I'm a student but I did an overnight the day before I applied ED to my top choice school (which I was accepted to in December). It was SUPER helpful for me at least to be sure I wanted to go to that school, but I knew to take it with a grain of salt, since not everyone there would be like my really extroverted, partying host. Also, Princeton has a really really great Humanities Symposium your school can recommend you for. I didn't end up wanting to go there for a variety of reasons but they set you up with a host and you attend special classes. It was like an accepted students day but in the fall- i really recommend it if you're thinking about Princeton.</p>
<p>My D spent an overnight at an all-women's college in MA. Host was horrible - left her in the dorm room while she went to an activity! However, she thinks it is a good measure of a school and will do overnights at her accepted schools.
S on the other hand didn't even visit his school until registration day and loves it! But he would be happy anywhere as long as there was "stuff to do"!</p>
<p>i'm a student, but i chose to apply early decision to my college because of how much i enjoyed my overnight visit. now that i'm here, i've hosted some students myself with mixed results. definitely don't force a kid who doesn't want to do an overnight to go on one- it will be awkward for everyone (one of my friends hosted a girl who wanted to bring her homework to a frat party). if you can stay overnight with someone that's not arranged through an admissions office, do it, because you have a better chance of having something in common with your host and they'll know what to do with you that night. the great things about an overnight is that you get time alone with a current student so you can get a better, if not complete, picture of what life is like at that college.<br>
some schools offer lunch visits or days where you can shadow students that will give you a similar experience.</p>
<p>Bucknell12's note about bringing a girl to a frat party is a heads up for parents. One of my kids did an overnight (a bus of kids from our region who had applied to the school but were not yet admitted were invited to the college). </p>
<p>The high school kids were invited to a frat party, where many of them got drunk and the girls were "hit on" by the college guys. My kid also said some of the kids blew off all of the activities scheduled by the school to sleep in, hang out and get drunk. While we all think our kids wouldn't do such things, I'm sure the parents of the kids who partied-hearty didn't think theirs would do such things too (and these kids may have the same issues as freshmen next year).</p>
<p>I don't know if there's a connection, but my kid -- who attended all of the activities scheduled by the school and wrote a thank you to the Admissions Office after visiting -- was admitted, and the other kid from his school who blew off all of the activities was rejected.</p>
<p>My son did an overnight in November at one of his schools. Looking back on it, he says that he should have waited to apply. The visit changed his mind. His hosts left all kinds of liquor and cigarettes all over the room -- they did offer him some but he declined. They, too, left him alone while they went to other things. I'm glad that he's a pretty good kid -- he was just 16 at the time. He said he went downstairs and watched a House marathon before going to sleep around 11. I did not go with him on the visit, but a good friend did -- she is one of his teachers whose family is from that area. She was just horrified to learn of the treatment he received, and the other day, she got a note from the school asking her to evaluate the visit. That's one evaluation that she will return.</p>
<p>My D#1 had overnight visits at all 4 colleges that had admitted her. Two of these were part of planned preview events, but all were during April when colleges know that many admitted students will be visiting. They were very useful for her, because I don't think she could really picture what life would be like for her at a particular school until she had visited. In retrospect, the food was much much better during the visit than it turned out to be in real life at the college she chose.</p>
<p>My D#2 is currently in the college admission process and has been on a few overnights. She definitely is more social than her older sis and is more swayed in her impressions during college visits by to what degree she has "gelled" with her host or with other visiting students. </p>
<p>I think overnights can very useful for the process of preparing kids for their eventual college experiences, but if your kid is really resistant I wouldn't push it.</p>
<p>I did an overnight at Harvard a million years ago. There was drinking and setting fire to hairspray cans and all sorts of things that would horrify parents. Anyway, I had a great time, learned that Harvard wasn't all studying, and because of that experience I am well aware that my kids may be doing things on those overnights that I'd rather not know about.</p>
<p>My oldest son did an overnight at Georgia Tech. He stayed in an on-campus apartment - there was a couch for him to sleep on - and he had a great time. His host took him to a sorority house for the evening where they hung out with the girls and watched movies. I think it was important for my son to see that there is a social life at a school so often viewed as an "all work, no play" type of place. </p>
<p>My younger son did not ever have an opportunity to spend a night at a school, but I don't think it hurt him in his decision on a college. I wouldn't make a big deal over it if your child doesn't want to do it.</p>