@londondad - then I don’t get your comparison. Maybe you know something I don’t.
many moons ago I applied to state schools and cornell. I was thrilled when cornell sent an acceptance. The next day my dad sat me down and informed me I’d be paying 100% of college costs. I was stunned since I knew he could well afford to pay. When I asked him why he’d waited to tell me, he said he never expected me to get into cornell.
So I went to our state flagship, worked throughout college, worked on wall st, started my own business, sold and retired. Objectively, a great career outcome and in line with studies that people who applied to an ivy had similar earnings to people that attended an ivy.
my wife attended mcgill and clearly had a very different experience. She lived in a cosmopolitan city, the school had beautiful dorms and to this day, identifies with the school. Likewise my son attends u mich and has come to identify with the school. Both schools have a strong alumni network. otoh, I have absolutely no identification with my state school and there isn’t a strong alumni association which helps graduates,
How does one put a dollar value on the “college experience” my wife and son had? Not sure, since we all value these things differently. I do think a good merit scholarship at a school that provides a great experience vs. a factory-based state school is worth considering. of course, some state schools (I’ve mentioned u mich) provide a great experience but that’s the exception rather than the norm.
@quietdesperation There are plenty of state schools that provide a great “college experience,” strong alumni network and alumni who do identify with their school. Sorry you did not have that but your son seems to have that at HIS state school !
@sevmom perhaps you’re right, we don’t see it much in ny or nj. also, complicating my personal experience is that the state flagship I attended is no longer the state flagship.
I’m happy to report that after the shock and disappointment of deferral (which you know is a possibility, but you really only prepare yourself for a “Yes” or “No” and not a “We’re going to wait and see if anyone better applies”), I think D is in a good place. After serious introspection, she has concluded that while she was enamored with the Huntsman Program, she really doesn’t have the strength in the math/business/econ side, and that’s because her passion isn’t there. The two of us took a serious look at her list of schools she wanted to apply to if she didn’t get UPenn ED, and made some changes. I know it’s late to add two schools (others came off her list), but I think it’s possible. She’s also accepted the reality that she is quite likely to end up at State U or one of the two schools that have already awarded her merit aid; that all her hard work is going to be rewarded via merit aid to a good school, rather than acceptance into a tippy-top school. And she’s begun looking towards grad school, which I think will make a greater impact in her life anyways.
@SuburbMom
That’s nice to hear and it’s definitely not to late to be adding schools. Do keep us posted.
It is definitely not too late to re-calibrate the list. We did the same for my S in when he was in the same position – having a few solid and affordable acceptances allows her to take schools off the list that are not as desirable as ones she has already been accepted to and add a couple of new ones. It sounds like she is in a good place. All best wishes moving forward.
^^^ I agree that you have plenty of time to add new schools and to write/re-write essays! Good luck!!
@SuburbMom We had to move cross country after my D’s freshman year which invoked many tears by her and pain for me because it was my job causing the displacement. My D is now a senior and in the middle of the application process. She has acceptances and merit in hand. Princeton is the dream and that’s RD because other schools required EA for merit aid. She is relatively relaxed about the process and has said she learned through the moves that she can excel where ever she ends up and that life is about how you respond. We’ll all be nervous in the Spring of course, but life goes on. Maybe it helps that her mother and I both went to state flagships and life turned out fine.
I know the tears are hard now but it can be a growing experience when she looks back. Hang in there!
@Waiting2exhale , not sure why this is directed to me, sorry!
Ohh, way back when in the thread, maybe page 3, you were giving info on a book with which you were familiar on the advantages of applying ED and EA, and mentioned that chances tripled for applying ED to Princeton:
“An Early Decision application doubled the average applicant’s chances at Brown and nearly tripled them at Princeton.” (Comment #42)
I couldn’t find that Princeton had once had an ED program and discontinued it for a SCEA program, and thought that called into question the statement in quotes above. Were you using the terms interchangeably?
^^^ @Waiting2exhale it was a direct quote from a review of a book published in 2003 by two Harvard professors and a Wesleyan admissions officer called “The Early Admission Game”. p.97 of the edition I have references “adoption of Early Decision by Princeton, Stanford, and Yale in 1996;”.
Understanding things have changed, the point was not about Princeton’s current policies but as example of the general benefit of applying early – a topic we have been instructed by mods to not discuss in this thread.
Princeton did have an ED plan years ago.
moderators note
Process has played itself out. Edit no is longer a factor. Op and daughter have made peace and are moving forward