Having Your Child Succeed In College

Start early with your child to lay the foundation for a lifelong love of learning. Parents, who, themselves don’t love learning have a much more difficult time with this.

Thanks. I’ve worked mostly at large, public research1 institutions, and have also been going to graduate school studying higher education (reading the research) and am constantly reading about what’s going on in other institutions via the Chronicle of Higher Education. If you want to see things from a faculty and institutional perspective, the Chronicle is interesting reading.

“MiamiDAP- you are not in one of the elite for education states if Florida is yours.”
-My D. attended in-state public college and we do not leave anywhere near Florida. I have no idea what your statement means and who you are are desribing as my D. never was inspired to attend any Elite colelges, she wanted a cheap college education and she got it tuition free.

Do you EVER read the threads? I clarified to @Wis75 that you were not in FL in the very next post. And for the gazillionth time you have freely admitted that you spent $100K on your dau’s undergrad education. This is NOT cheap, even by DadII’s definition.

@sseamom

Or perhaps schools are turning out creative thinkers, but GPA isn’t a good measure of that.

And I don’t think colleges are just as bad. Doing all the homework will get you a long way though.

Or again, maybe they are but GPA isn’t a good measure of that.

I’d agree with your characterization of what the SAT tests, but that’s not nothing and it’s not insignificant either.

As to who it leaves out - well, the college admissions process is all about leaving people out.

Test optional colleges typically place even more emphasis on essays and LORs, because as I stated before, GPA by itself is junk, and (at 90%+ of schools) mostly reflects just doing all the homework.

My kid goes to public school, pal. He gets a stellar education but I’m not fooling myself about what his grades do and do not tell me.

You implied that pretty every school but a small handful are any good. Are you saying that your kid’s HS is one of those special few? D’s a public school too, and it’s in a district that has other excellent schools too. I just don’t believe that only a few are worth anything. I also think many more than a small handful grade kids on homework as the primary marker. I don’t believe grades are “junk”. They are not everything, but a good schools grade less on homework and more on work actually done to prove understanding. D’s entire district does this.

I’m not really sure of your overall point-is that that most schools are crummy, that grades should be done away with because they mean nothing, or that standardized tests, while imperfect, are “better” than grades as an indicator of college readiness, or ?? What’s your plan to fix things?

Miami, I really disagree that all it takes is a few minutes of homework every night to make it to medical school, and while I think doing homework is a very good idea, it alone will not get you to Harvard. I believe your daughter went to a private school, at least for high school, and that does make a difference. If you didn’t think so, you wouldn’t have sent her. Think how she might have performed in high school in a classroom with 40 kids, 20 who didn’t want to be there, substitutes all the time, interruptions, illnesses, testing. My kids also went to a private school for several years and it is just different. At private schools, the teachers would call at the littlest issue, but I couldn’t even get a public school teacher to call me back. Basically, every group project my daughter did, she did all the work because the others didn’t know how to write a paragraph or topic sentence.

My daughter did hours of homework every single night, from k through high school. I’d wake up on a Sunday morning and she’d be at the table doing chemistry homework on the computer with Khan Academy on the tablet. She did not have an A in every class, and worked damn hard for the B’s she sometimes got. Did your daughter not have tests? Mine often struggled with tests, so while her homework grades were always A’s, her tests were often not. Your ‘fail proof’ method does not work for everyone, even those who try, who are smart, who do the homework.

I’ve given my daughter a lot more academic support in college than I ever did when she was in high school. I’m no help in science or math with the actual work, but I do help in English (she calls to discuss topics, to run things by me), I do offer to pay for tutors if she thinks she needs one, I offer suggestions on how to approach her TA’s (how to form the question). She was very young when she started last year and very anxious about doing well. I did not just tell her to do it all herself. Sometimes she just needs to hear ‘Oh, good idea’ or ‘that should work.’

“Miami, I really disagree that all it takes is a few minutes of homework every night to make it to medical school”
-I also strongly disagree with this. I have never stated that " it takes is a FEW MINUTES of homework". That would be a total lie. Nope, it takes what it takes. And it is different from kid to kid. The point is that homework for each class have to be done before each class, period, in the form of assigment, or whatever, some like to read the material beforehand, depend on the study style and preferences.

You do not need to agree or disagree. I can only state what took my D. to get where is she now - first year resident in very selective specialty at the place that was HER top choice. She is very pleased with the results. Her way to accomplish it at all places of her education career was to always do her homework, meanning to be prepared for each class every day, whatever it took. As an example, she mentioned that it took her about 30 hours to prepare for each exam in college Organic Chemistry class, so she absolutely made sure that she plan her activities around this requirement. Keep in mind, if others could affod Bs in college, pre-meds cannot afford them. Each class takes different effort from each student. I never saw my D. doing HS math or Spanish at home. She was able to finish all the work during study hall at school. These wre her easy classes. No such luck with English and History. She put enourmous efforts into these two. For others it maybe opposite. However. all along, I do not know any other miracle that can produce an A for a student, except for doing the homework.

Well, if others are aware of such a magic, they can share with us here. Too late for my kids to learn, but I may forward it to my gradnkids who are also straight A student and doing it exactly in the same fashiln as my D., by admission of my grandson: “just doing my homework”
I also feel that being involved in tons of un-related activities is a great help. Sport, music, art, writing, volunteering, working in a summer, having lots of friends are all very helpful.

Good grief, miami. Enough already. There are many first year residents who got their first choice spot in a desired and even very competitive specialty who went to… gasp… public school for primary and secondary education. Yes, these students can make it too. And most pre med students know what they need to do in college. Every post here does not need to be a springboard for more episodes (or reruns) of “the MiamiDAP dau brag show.”

OK, off to have my morning coffee.

… did not see that:“I believe your daughter went to a private school, at least for high school, and that does make a difference. If you didn’t think so, you wouldn’t have sent her”
-My D. was sent to a private HS because of her unique situation. Huge public HS would be a disastour for a kid who was coming from the middle school class of 4 kids (yes, FOUR). She also was offerred a great academic scholarship to attend the #2 private HS in our state. And why she happened to be in such a small middle school - easy, no other school (including privates) took my 5 y o into kindergarten because she was missing the deadline by 4 days and because her score was low in whatever stupid test they gave them to see “kindergarten preparadness”. I was told by several of her caregivers in pre-school that she is absolutely NOT prepared. We choose NOT to listen to this outright stupidity. This “absolutely NOT prepared kid” ended up never having anything but A in every single class from kindergarten all thru graduating from college and had very high scores in every standardized test in Med. School. Being the youngest everywhere did not prevent her from working hard and that was the only way for her to achieve.

The # 2 school on one list. The very same school is not mentioned or is hard to find other lists of top private school in the state. Please… enough. We are all sure its a fine, small school. But there are other fine schools, large and small. And…heavens… even some fine schools are public schools.

I think GPA is mostly a measure of doing homework at most schools. I don’t think that means the schools overall are bad, though some of them also may be bad.

I just think an external check on grades is necessary. Like the SAT and/or essays. That’s all.

Miami, you have said many times that your daughter did a only a little homework before she went off to swim practice. Of course I think she did more in high school than in first grade, but I’ll bet she did more than just the assigned homework too, read more, studied the SAT manuals, signed up for clubs that required more than just selling cupcakes but some real intellectual work. Now you say she was at a private school because she missed the deadline by 4 days and yet was so smart she was able to keep up with kids a year older - and you still think that all it took was doing the homework? Even here you’ve said you never saw her do homework in some subjects but she still got all A’s. I’m telling you my daughter did ALL her homework (and some schools don’t even give homework), spent hours and hours on some subjects, and still didn’t get A’s. You must have other children if you have grandchildren. Did this magic pill work for them too? Did they have all A’s and a free education (that only cost you $25k per year) just by doing homework? You never mention your other children, just your daughter and then perfect grandchildren.

I’m just saying the advice to just do your homework does not work for all students and that if all students try to follow that and do nothing else they may not be valedictorian or get that free education you have mentioned more than once. Some have to get the occasional B because they had more than 4 kids in their middle school class and more than 100 in their high school class and some of those other kids wanted A’s too. All is not lost if the student does get a B even after doing all the homework. My daughter has a number of grants and scholarships, and it all adds up to a full ride. My other daughter, who did not put in the time to get an A in every class (but did do all her homework too) doesn’t have a full tuition scholarship, but I also don’t pay $25k per year for her college costs.

Your daughter has done a wonderful job and you have the right to brag. However, I doubt all it took was doing her homework. I suspect quite a bit had to do with her private education, her natural intellect, her drive, her need not to have a job during school, her good home with enough food and heat and warm clothing when needed. I’m sure she had opportunities for expensive EC’s that enriched her learning. Telling others that all it takes is doing homework is very misleading.

I should correct myself. High school GPA, in most districts, doesn’t just measure homework. It also measures attendence, class participation, arts and crafts skills (for “science” fair and similar projects) and other suchlike factors.

Unless the HS is unusually competitive, GPA doesn’t tell you much about a student.

“Miami, you have said many times that your daughter did a only a little homework before she went off to swim practice.”
-Yes, I mentioned several times that when she got her FIRST homework assignment in kindergarten at age 5, she needed to spend about 5 min. on it to have it done well. That did not imply by any means that she continued spending 5 min. on her homework. There is a tiny (maybe insignificant) but a difference nonetheless between doing homework in kindergarten, 1st grade, HS, college and Medical School. If you read ALL of my posts, I also mentioned numerous times (more often that kindergarten experience) the fact that D. spent 14hrs /day every day for 7.5 weeks preparing for her Step 1 Board exmination in Med. School. I understand that for some 14 hrs is still about the same as 5 min. and still would be considered “few minutes a day”, but, believe me, we did not think so.

^^ That is not homework, that is a study program she imposed on herself. Certainly a good thing but, again, much more than just doing the homework assigned. The question asked was what do parents do to help their children succeed, and it is a lot more than ‘just do your homework.’

Helping a child succeed

  1. Maintain a strong relationship with each one of your kids
  2. Show them that you believe in them and will support them when they need it
  3. Make school a high family priority
  4. Make English and math the most important subjects
  5. Praise them for effort, not results
  6. Teach them it take on challenges, that it is okay to fail, and that it is trying that matters
  7. Also prioritize social development and athletics

Homework is a study program that every student imposes on herself. It could be 5 min. or 14 hours, whatever it takes to get results. And again, there is a distinction between a specific assignment and a homework. Certain assignment is just a part of the homework, some homework is not an assignment at all, as you correctly mentioned, it is a study program that student imposes on herself. Any academically related activity outside of school to achieve a success in a class or exam / test is a homework. This is the terminology that we use in our family, inlduing kids / grandkids, and sometime they refer it to simply “work”.

I thought work is a job people get paid by employers to do, usually between 8 am-6 pm when they should not be posting on cc or other internet forums =P~

Really? So now you are saying that any child can achieve success which just means doing your homework, and homework now includes anything, whether part of the work teachers give out or just anything in the world. And it counts as homework if the student does it at school.

That’s like saying anyone can be a millionaire if he just saves $1,000,000.

I agree doing school assigned work is good, that studying is good, but I don’t think that’s all there is to being a successful students, and not all students have the same opportunities.