<p>I actually haven't finished the essay yet, but I was wondering if someone (very reliable) would read the first two paragraphs of a possible common app essay for me? I wrote a really...interesting first sentence and I want any advice on how it sounds and if I should change it. I need the first two paragraphs read because that's where I expand on it. I want to know if I should spend any more time on this essay. Thanks!</p>
<p>Hey I'll take a look at it and give you feed back if you want</p>