Never understood the helicopter choice. I love being with my kids to be sure, but one of the core reasons for sending them to boarding school is for them to achieve genuine independence. If there’s not actual distance, if a safety net is always 15 minutes away, then you basically have a day school outcome. That’s fine if you want it, but it eliminates one of the great benefits of boarding school.
@Parabane I have parented both ways. I can assure you my kids experience is nothing like a day student. Just because I live close by doesn’t mean I infringe on my kids freedom. They are entirely responsible for their daily lives. I have 2 left at BS and I let them drive the amount of contact. Each had a very different pattern with us based on their schedule and preferences. For us this arrangement works.
Sikorsky level update: We now have three West Coast families at the school with one parent living across the street from our NE school.
Hoping not to be the 4th. . . . 
@mexusa --Wow, I stand corrected on my humble number of three!
In all honestly, I’ve often had the desire to do the same. . . In the Fall and late Spring 
I do find myself visiting DD quite a bit BUT she’s in sunny Southern California and… I’m not!
@itcannotbetrue - I had to look up Sikorsky. LOL
We happen to live a mile from DS’s school - though we have lived here for 13 years! He is a day student who is campaigning to board! We will revisit that for 11th grade.
In the meantime, I am grateful to the boarders who are modeling independence! At first, we had to purposefully make ourselves less available to come at ds’s beck and call. Now he uses his bike for all of his pre-10pm/non-icey/pouring transportation to and from school. And, at his request, he is flying solo to his grandpa’s house in March! Woohoo! So, while the true far-away-from-home experiences will have to wait, I feel like the Sikorsky is garaged (hangered?)
(Just wanted to clarify the above…less available to bring forgotten stuff during the day. We were more than happy to drive him to and from school. However, DS wanted to come and go as he pleased rather than wait for us to be home from work, carpooling other kid, etc so he chooses to bike.)
Our D has a dormmate whose parents are at school 3 or 4x a week. Her BS is 100% boarding. They sit in the common area, do her laundry, bring her dinner. Is this common?
^Not to that extreme. I did live not far from my kids and many weeks saw them once or twice. During sports seasons, usually twice on game days but if it was an away game it wouldn’t be on campus. I would drop off a home cooked meal or freshly baked goods maybe once or twice a month. 3-4x a week seems like a lot to me.
I can’t imagine my kid would want me there 3-4x a week. And we’re close! It’s hard on the kids whose family’s live far away. On that note- we’re missing my kids Nutcracker performance for the first time since she was 3 years old! We’ve done the crazy professional thing- but it’s still weird… Sad
@ copperboom – no, not at least at my kid’s school. In fact, said parents might be gently coaxed to allow their DC to “Foster more independence” (or some equally eloquent euphemism for LEAVE HER ALONE).
3-4x per week…? That’s just embarrassing, @copperboom and definitely abnormal, at least in my book.
I have been know to be on campus 3-4x a week. The definition of on campus is pretty loose though. This was my schedule for the last week.
Sunday: picked up DD at a mock trial competition in a town about an hour away, drove her to her club field hockey game and then drove her 45 minutes back to her dorm. Stopped on the way back at the market to get her secret Santa gift, food for dorm room and dinner. Drove over to my DS dorm on campus to drop off his secret Santa gift for dorm exchange. He met me at the car window and asked if we could go for a drive because “he missed me”. Despite having hours of work at home, I said of course and we spent 20 minutes driving around dark roads, listening to music and admiring holiday lights.
Monday: picked up DS on campus to head to oral surgeon appointment as we were hoping to get wisdom teeth out over break. Then headed to his Orthodontist to pick up his last set of retainers.
Wednesday: drove to campus to bring my daughter her new glasses- we debated whether to ship to her at school- but decided to send to our house in case they didn’t arrive before break. Stopped on the way to get DD,DS and daughters fiends mcflurrys at Macdonalds.
Today( Saturday) will head up to campus to bring DS best friend his gift for dorm secret Santa. The PO on campus will be closed when it arrives late this afternoon- so when I got a late night call from him asking if his friend could ship it here- of course I said yes.
Yes, I do a lot of driving, yes I realize my kids could plan better, I could cram in appointments over break, I could say no to letting my daughter play in a club field hockey league etc… But I remind myself every time that I have “done” this boarding school life very different (when I lived 2500 miles away from my oldest 2). The reason I moved across the country to live 45 minutes from campus, was to live it exactly the way I am.
“He met me at the car window and asked if we could go for a drive because “he missed me”. Despite having hours of work at home, I said of course and we spent 20 minutes driving around dark roads, listening to music and admiring holiday lights.”
Love this. <3
vegas1, guess if we weren’t 1200 miles I woud be there more often. We’re getting to be Amazons best customers- cold medicine- click. Secret santa gifts- click. Food- click. But I’m fairly sure I wouldn’t hang out in her common room. You’re son sounds like a gem! What is it about the car? Our best conversations are always in the car. Sometimes we will pull into the garage and stay in the car to talk! I would give anything to have those conversations during the year. Spending as much time as possible together now while she’s home on break!
No judgement here @vegas1. Getting the “boarding experience” was not our kid’s primary reason for going to boarding school, but we embraced it because of the kid’s desire for a strong academic environment with lots of EC opportunities. DH and I have managed to fly in on weekends for most of kiddo’s athletic contests and we justify the time and expense as our new “date nights”. I am incredibly envious of the day student parents and folks who live within a 2-3 hours drive. Being around for more of those impromptu drives would be such a blessing. Alas circumstances make the big move impossible for us.