<p>This is a rough draft..</p>
<p>statement 1
In his homily at the Class of 2005s Bac-
calaureate Mass, LMUs President Fr. Robert
Lawton, S.J., said: So what is the answer
to this deep insecurity we all feel? The an-
swer, I think, is to embrace the adventure of
becoming deeply, and fully, ourselves. This
is what God is really calling us to. It seems
like the riskiest of all journeys, this journey
to be oneself. But its ultimately the journey
that leads us to happiness, that leads us into
Gods dreams for us.
question 1
Why do you think Fr. Lawton says the
journey to be oneself seems the riskiest
of all journeys? What risks lie ahead in your
college career as you embark on the adven-
ture of discovering and becoming yourself? </p>
<pre><code> First and foremost, I am a pilgrim on the path of my spiritual journey. God has given every individual a personal calling and it is through this that we are able to obtain true happiness. I define a personal calling as a path God has chosen for us in this lifetime. Whenever we do something that fills us with excitement and enthusiasm, we are following our personal calling.
I believe what Fr.Robert Lawton said in his 2005 Baccalaureate Mass parallels Ecclesiastes 8:15. It reads, "And I commend joy, for man has no good thing under the sun but to eat and drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in his toil through the days of his life that God has given him under the sun." God declares that afflictions are inevitable, but I firmly have faith that He would not endow us with hardships if human beings were not able to overcome adversity. In my journey, I have discovered it is through ventures of pain that we are able to appreciate the beauty that constructs our every day life.
Fr.Robert Lawton affirmed that we all have feelings of insecurities. From time to time, I have felt dissatisfied and unfulfilled in my previous college career. After much reflection, I have come to the realization that I was not satisfying my need to be challenged.I believe I have already taken a risk by altering my college career path but I am satisfied knowing that I am one step closer to becoming fully myself. Already having attended college, I am familiar with the risks that are involved with embarking on a college career. Often times, we conventionally create an image of what one should be and strive towards an image that is merely a ruse. We all have an innate desire to belong and in this quest for acceptance, we are marred by worldly distractions and fail to nourish our spirit. Along my personal adventure, I have come to realize that my sense of self was predominately molded by my colleagues and what society instructed would lead to a fulfilling life. We are, however minutely, conditioned to believe what society tells us is possible since childhood. Because of this, I believe utilizing our time away from home is vital to discovering who we truly are. In my college career at LMU, I hope to continue on my spiritual journey and confront my personal calling.
The journey to become deeply and fully ourselves seems the riskiest because we do not know what the final outcome will be and the journey does not come with a map. Since we have been conditioned to think our dreams are impossible, over the years, feelings of fear and guilt accumulate within ourselves. On my graduation day, I hope to look back at my college career with a sense of accomplishment, knowing that I did not succumb to any fears or doubt.
</code></pre>
<p>Any comments (negative ones too) are greatly appreciated! :)
I just want to write the best essay I can without sounding "over written"- I do believe my sentences are rather "choppy" & I think they don't flow as well as they should.. Any advice on how to make my sentence structure more cohesive? And also, does my paper even make sense?! And...I'm afraid my paper sounds "too spiritual" or "too philosophical"- But I did write everything from my heart. What do you guys think?
Additional info:
- I am a spiritual person (I meditate and have a strong connection w/God,but I do not believe in organize religion)
- I am applying to their Studio Arts Program(Multimedia Arts) as a transfer applicant from FIDM.(I graduated with a 3.7 GPA.. was a Honor Society member also.) My college career at FIDM, albeit highly creative and hands-on, did not feel fulfill me. I felt like I needed to be challenged more. </p>
<p>Thanks in advanced for anyone who will take the time to help me out & give me some advice/comments!!</p>