Help! D wants to change horses midstream!

<p>I think everyone is being a little too harsh on the OP’s daughter. There could be other issues to look into, like anxiety/depression. The OP should talk to her doctor, and possibly have her daughter see a therapist.</p>

<p>re post # 17. ADD is often confused with giftedness. There are differences and a child can have both. Since this girl has gotten this far with stellar grades I doubt ADD is part of the problem. </p>

<p>Gifted students often also have problems with perfectionism. Choosing to not risk failure by not trying, something to consider. Our gifted son starte HS with a 4.0 but then quit doing all of the work, especially senior year. </p>

<p>This girl needs to be told there is light at the end of the tunnel and that she is near the end of it. She needs a reason to put up with the “crap” of HS one more year. Many of us finally had a wonderful experience when we went to college. She needs a goal- getting into her dream college is one- to make it through her final HS year. She may end up at her state flagship for financial reasons but needs something to look forward to.</p>

<p>The first step as I see it, is to explain to her what rankings like USNWR are.
They are an artificallly created ranking system rarely if ever used in the real working world, and their importance and value is promoted by a publishing company that is in the business of selling their own rankings. We do not hear stories of an H.R. manager saying: “Hmmm this applicant graduated from a school rated 3rd best in the South, while this other one graduated from the top of the second tier of schools that offer masters’ degrees… who would be better?”.</p>

<p>Not to say they are completely worthless, but to say that imo they can be used as one very small factor in making school choices.</p>

<p>The daughter of a friend of ours graduated a year early and went to an Argentina high school for her final year. She took her SATs in Buenos Aires and applied to college from there as well. She got into several top-15 universities, so certainly it didn’t affect her chances. OP should google high school study abroad buenos aires and will discover there ARE programs that will take her, especially given the difference in season in the southern hemisphere.</p>

<p>You should encourage her to “finish strong.” With her record, she could get some good scholarships–if she doesn’t blow it. She has already put so much into HS with good results.
Just one more year. She can stick it out. She can protest by skipping the graduation ceremony, not by skipping class/failing to turn in homework and ruining her GPA. She might feel better after summer break–maybe she is just exhausted and fed up at the end of the year?</p>

<p>BTW, some states have public on-line schools that are free and give regular diplomas. She might look into this if she really can’t take the school atmosphere for one more year.</p>

<p>I would never excuse my kids from school simply because they want to stay home. I would tell this D, like I tell my boys, that life is often about doing things we find boring or not very stimulating and the winners are people that can figure out how to make it all work. And frankly much of high school is memorization and regurgitation, it’s the foundation of the house so alittle tough love about not skipping mortar along the way to building the house can go a long way. There are many ways to enrich your mind in addition to the high school classroom.</p>

<p>If her grades are taking a hit, then that will be reflected in her college choices so in the OP’s D case she is writing her own history…that what they do or choose not to do will affect their future choices. She also needs to know that there are plenty of 4.0 unweighted 2100 SAT kids that don’t drop out after junior year and she might want to crank up the grades and homework/project completion, get some decent recommendations senior year and have a shot at her dream colleges.</p>

<p>About the only thing that would make me stop paying tuition would be a kid not going to class. I just don’t have any interest in my kids thinking they don’t have to do the things the other kids have to do because the other kids are … etc…</p>

<p>I couldn’t care less what the other kids are. Get to class.</p>

<p>What excuse is there for not attending hs classes? As far as I can tell, none. This girl has her parents over a barrel if she’s convinced them she has a reason not to attend class.</p>

<p>Wis75, in my limited experience, it is possible for a kid to be gifted and thus able to compensate for ADD for quite awhile. Sometimes, depending on the kid’s interests, college major, jobs, he/she may be able to work around the ADD throughout her life without ever needing an actual diagnosis.</p>

<p>I have a good friend who wasn’t diagnosed with ADD until he had been admitted to an MBA program. I know a couple of physicians who didn’t “hit the wall” until they got to medical school.</p>

<p>But some kids are able to compensate only so far. Sometimes it is when they hit middle school and have to keep track of a lot of teachers and assignments for other classes. Sometimes it is when they hit high school. Sometimes it is when they start taking high level classes in high school. Sometimes it is when they get to college, and are totally in charge of their own day. </p>

<p>It is entirely possible for a kid to be getting stellar grades until midway through high school, start falling apart at school, and then be given an ADD diagnosis. </p>

<p>When a bright kid makes it as far as high school before “hitting the wall”, they sometimes react to that inability to cope in ways that sound similar to the OP’s daughter. They subconciously try distract parents from the underlying cause by … throwing tantrums about being bored, not liking the way the course is taught, hating the teacher, not wanting to go to school… you name it, they want us to look somewhere “out there” as being the source of the problem. It can bring a feeling of shame for a very bright kid when he can no longer compensate for ADD. They want us to look everywhere but at them for the source of their problems at school.</p>

<p>It is also possible that there are mental health issues beginning to surface in high school when a kid suddenly switches gears. </p>

<p>I’m not saying this is what is going on with the OP’s daughter, but I personally would look at it as one possible reason for the sudden urge to “change horses midstream”.</p>

<p>I think that’s a good point ECC.</p>

<p>The OP should look into the early college program at Bard College at Simon’s Rock. </p>

<p>[Home</a> — Bard College at Simon’s Rock - The Early College](<a href=“http://www.simons-rock.edu/]Home”>http://www.simons-rock.edu/)</p>

<p>I know someone who went there and it worked out very well for her. She later matriculated at a regular 4 yr. college.</p>

<p>I agree with the other posters…just showing up is very important. Maybe she is experiencing Junior Year burnout. Many kids want to be just done with everything after they complete their junior year…and once all of their apps are in and acceptances roll out, their attitudes change again.</p>