<p>[Is she the only kid who went to BDD that didn’t come home walking on air?
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<p>No, she is not. My DD did not come home from BDD walking on air (five years ago now.) There were a lot of little things that flattened the experience. New Haven itself did not make a good first impression on her in terms of personal safety. She didn’t have a good host (in fact, pretty bad) and the big fair of ECs in the gym was kind of overwhelming. This contrasted against a wonderfully fun few days at Stanford’s admit days and another personal visit to another school (not on Admit Days) where the school matched her to her perfect counterpart as a host. If the decision had been made based on Admit Days alone, Yale would not have been her choice. But, in the end, she did go there and became a died in the wool Yalie. I would advise your daughter to try to find some current students she can talk to. I’m not sure one can always get a true picture from Admit Days. Talking to current students was, in the end, the thing that helped my DD make her decision. She could slowly ask all her questions and get her concerns addressed in a less frenetic setting.</p>
<p>lonestarmom, I think taking your daughter was not a good idea.
I am an incoming freshman, and my father sent me on my own.
I knew why he did so, and I must say I enjoyed every moment of BDD.</p>
<p>One thing I KNOW for sure was her problem was that she did not meet everyone in her class. The Class of 2013 will not get into networking until they are in the middle of their freshman year. It is pretty simple. </p>
<p>@ Yale, what I realized is that the 2013’ers were keeping to themselves. Some were all over the place. Personally, I wanted to meet all those on this forum but it did not happen. I still oved every moment of BDD though, and cannot wait to start this summer</p>
<p>If your daughter is worried, tell her to make a wise decision.</p>
<p>[We finally go to the room and I was a little surprised when I opened the door and there was about 50 empty hard alcohol bottles on a bookcase and a fridge 95% full of beer.[\quote]</p>
<p>This was one of the big impressions my daughter took away from the two east coast schools she visited – the easy access to alcohol. When she went to Stanford, the school practically had the campus on an alcohol lockdown due to all the high school students visiting and said that if any kids were caught drinking, their admission would be rescinded.</p>
<p>My son also did not come home walking on air. He has been dreaming of Yale for years, and like the OP’s daughter, still feels that on paper, Yale is right for him. He was absolutely euphoric after Princeton Preview days and had visited Y twice before, so was prepared for the urban atmosphere etc. I think part of what was offputting was his host (not that friendly) and the dorm he stayed in (Morse–I didn’t know they had dorms like that at Yale). There were many things he loved, but he was not in a very good mood by the end of BDD. He described himself as riding back with a group of friends on the train and no longer enjoying the conversations, which is not like garrulous non-stop talking DS.
We were unprepared for the head over heels reaction to Princeton Preview, and I just assumed Yale would be Princeton on steroids and an even greater high. I tend to believe a student should pick the school they are in love with but in our minds, we think Yale is a better choice (especially for his main area of interest, music).
I’m glad OP started this thread. I was starting to think DS was the only one.</p>
<p>Be careful about disregarding a gut feeling. I visited Yale for BDD a few years ago and was surprised that I didn’t really like it although it seemed like a perfect fit on paper. I called my parents and told them I wanted to go visit Stanford (my other choice) since I wasn’t in love with Yale, and they talked me out of looking at other schools. I chose Yale but never really liked it (too gritty, urban) even after four years. Your child’s reaction to Yale may be an important clue as to how she/he will feel if they choose Yale.</p>
<p>Yale is the right place for many kids, but not for everyone. Can your son articulate exactly what it is he didn’t like? Or what it was about Princeton that really got him excited?</p>
<p>I went to BDD and absolutely LOVED my experience. I had never visited Yale when there were a lot of students on campus and it seems that everytime I go, the weather is horrible. Besides the HORRENDOUS rain, I had SO MUCH FUN! I got there early on Monday and just walked around for a while. The feeling was amazing! I already felt like a student, to a certain extent. Once people started arriving, I hung out with them and realized just how amazing Yalies are: they were so outgoing, so chill, funny, exciting. When I met actual students, I knew I had made the right decision in going to Yale. They were ALL excited to have us there and to convince us how great Yale is.</p>
<p>I also went to a few parties: that SAE party was HORRIBLE. I can’t stress how bad it was. Then I went to Fusion… so much fun!! Yalies know how to have fun. Then we got lost trying to find another frat party and decided to just hang out for the rest of the night. So we just went to the Pierson common room to hang out until like 3:30.</p>
<p>I hate to be cliche, but what really made me see how amazing Yale is was the people. They were all excited to be there (or most of them). I also realized how great all the people were and how diverse, ethnically and in terms of interests as well. Everyone did a little bit of everything and that was really cool. There were your party people, your singers, your actors, your artists, etc. The campus was vibrant and exciting. </p>
<p>Honestly, I can’t see how anyone could not love Yale after BDD. Chances are she was never going to like Yale, if they didn’t like it when they got there. The weather is New England weather, period. I’m from NY so I was expecting it. If people weren’t expecting it, that definitely would have had an impact. New Haven is urban, period. If people from suburbs came expecting to be in a place completely secluded from the real world or in a bubble, then Yale was never going to be a place for them.</p>
<p>I just got back from BDD and Stanford’s Admit Weekend (other choice). I was, like many of you, underwhelmed at Yale. I came in leaning towards it, and I left in a rather ambivalent, if not sour, mood. It had mostly to do with my hosts, I think. I hardly got to talk to them or see them, they seemed cooped up, and, worst, they looked dreary themselves. At Stanford, though, I had a blast. The friendliness of the students, their relaxed nature, and their aura of happiness really struck me. They all went out of their way to make it an enjoyable experience. They all talked about my subjects of interest at length and honestly. One of the students told me he wasn’t convinced about Stanford and was maybe going to transfer out. Others explained to me to take everything with a grain of salt (this was a sales pitch, they said). It seemed like Stanford students really did give me the full picture. They told me what was great about Yale and what Stanford lacked; all of this was done rather objectively. </p>
<p>Still, though, I am extremely undecided… GAH!</p>
<p>Collegebound–I agree with you about the gut feeling but my son reports there were many good things at Yale and I’m bemused as to why they didn’t add up to loving it.</p>
<p>Booklady–we are from Princeton and my son has already taken classes there and been an active participant in their composer’s collective. He has quite a few friends already on campus and in the incoming class. So it makes sense he would really feel comfortable there. I’m still not clear on what exactly he didn’t like about Yale beyond the dorm and host. He loved the classes, the conversations, the ECs. It’s going to be a hard choice!</p>
<p>What are the other schools that have accepted her? What was her reaction to visiting them? Yale is definitely not for everyone. No one school is right for each person, no matter how wonderful it is for others. I would say that if she has cold feet about many of her choices, then maybe it is anxiety about the whole process and leaving home, etc. But if she likes another school a lot better (gut reactions…), then I would absolutely not harp on Yale. But, she really needs to decide soon, doesn’t she?</p>
<p>Stringkeymom: One of my sons is in Morse and while he likes the “morsels” (the students in Morse) he doesn’t like the buildings. Morse and Stiles are really different than the others, however the good thing is that after freshman year, most people have singles. Morse will be renovated next year.<br>
One thing about admitted students days that is unfortunate is that if you’re not compatible with your host, it really colors the whole experience. One son was rah rah about Dartmouth until he visited and found his hosts had nothing in common with him and weren’t friendly. I am sure that is not typical of Dartmouth, but that was the end of Dartmouth for him. Neither son was “in love” with Yale before going, but both felt comfortable there. They are both extremely happy with their decision to attend.
I would say that your son should look carefully at the course catalogs, mapping out what courses he would take at each school for his major. See how he feels about each. He should also be very aware of who the faculty at each are (especially if he’s doing performance). Hopefully that should guide him. Finally, use the other technique we’ve used for decisions: pretend he’s going to have to make the decision based on the flip of a coin. Flip the coin and determine the outcome. Then see whether his stomach sinks about it or if he feels ok about the decision.
Good luck!</p>
<p>I wanted to point out that BDD fell on the last week of classes. This is a very stressful time. Personally, i had multiple finals during this week. And many final papers were due before reading period. So depending on the classes the students you met were in they could have been really stressed and tired from all the end of the year work. Others might have only had final during finals period, in which case they wouldn’t have been worrying yet. </p>
<p>I just wanted to point this out for those of you who didn’t get a good feeling from your host.</p>