<p>around June we got a letter from the BS our D was going to attend with some suggestions on how to help new students get ready. I'll start by sharing what I remember, adding a few of my own, and see where this takes us.</p>
<p>1) get an alarm clock and have your child set and use it. Encourage them to manage that on their own, since they will need to next fall. If they oversleep, they face the consequences. </p>
<p>2) practice doing laundry (even if you will use a service, see the endless laundry thread). </p>
<p>My own additions</p>
<p>3) contract to talk/Skype/facetime regularly when they are at school. Once a week (Sunday afternoons are a good bet because you don't want to interrupt classes, dinner, study hours or sleep) at a minimum. They are very involved and it is a pain to track them down if you hear nothing for weeks, so set up the rule for talking once a week before hand, with the consequence that you will have to ask their advisor to track them down if they do not contact home at the agreed time. </p>
<p>4) read the rule book - together. In detail. Especially if receiving financial aid. Getting in is good, staying in is better. </p>
<p>Normal adolescent shenanigans can cause major disciplinary headaches, best to be forewarned that this is taken very seriously and unfortunately affects more kids than you think. In some schools, for example, using writing from a previous paper you wrote yourself is considered plagiarism if done without proper citation. Using an iron can violate rules. Being in a room where rules are being broken (even if as a bystander) is to be avoided. Kids often just don't think thru potential consequences themselves. Help with this. </p>
<p>5) for many kids, this is the first time they will NOT be the very best in the class/sport/music/etc, and it can be a shock. I tried to talk casually and honestly about how others I know/work with are smarter/taller/prettier/wealthier than I am, but how to feel good about who I am without comparing, how I work to figure out what I do best and put my effort into it. </p>
<p>This school year has only a month or so left and i think have actually spoken, either through phone or skype, twice. I communicate with her, however, daily ~usually several times throughout the day and at length after work is done~ via facebook messenger. Its just easier for both of us. Another benefit is that its private. One of the hardest things for these kids is finding alone time. There are things my d texts me that I’m sure she wouldn’t want people overhearing. Also, she can send me a quick snapchat walking to class to share the beautiful cherry blossom in about 5 seconds. These things dont demand blocks of time but keep us in seemingly constant contact. Sometimes i think I’m worse than the teenagers about already tapping on my phone.</p>
<p>So parents get ready as well. </p>
<p>And I’ll chime in that in the eight months that school has been in session, I have probably spoken and texted with our junior fewer than 20 times. He saves it all for when he comes home. We aren’t a text family and he’s not a phone chatter. This may just be a boy thing. Although we had somewhat more communication freshman year, after that, contact has been on an as-needed basis with him initiating based on what his schedule permits. Weeks go by in silence. It will depend on your child and your requirements. We have found that our son is so busy that he doesn’t even realize how much time has passed since he last talked to us, and we don’t worry about how he’s doing. Unless informed otherwise, we assume all is well (it always is). I’m sure we are at the far end of the communication spectrum, but I post this to show how wide this spectrum can be – without any cause for concern.</p>
<p>Must be a boy thing. Despite the fancy education he is receiving, DS doesn’t seem to be capable of a whole word text response. </p>
<p>I hate it when I get a single character response “k”. X( </p>
<p>Yeah, my daughter is always yelling at me for doing that. Its really just a way to acknowledge that you’ve seen the text so would you rather nothing? At least with FB messenger, you can see when the message was “seen.” </p>
<p>I’m having a bit of a panic attick already on that. I would like to say OMG but that is already too passee, right></p>
<p>My mom sometimes texts back “Y,” and I have no idea if she means “why” or “yes.”</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.whenparentstext.com”>www.whenparentstext.com</a></p>
<p>It’s difficult to miss them so much, but my Ds first roommate’s parents called her every night, and because they were in Asia it was early morning. Not helpful to the roommate, and woke up my D too. </p>
<p>It took a while to figure out a convenient time to call her when there was a decent chance D was not busy. The first year, she NEVER called us first. That’s gotten better. </p>
<p>There were privacy issues with phone and Skype, since she was never alone. But sometimes it just really helps to hear the voice or see them!</p>