HELP Grade My Essay Please!!!!!

Test Preparation
1

<p>Assignment: Is knowing facts as important as understanding ideas and concepts?</p>

<p>_Knowledge has always been the foundation of our lives. Before fully entering the society, many of us were required to learn all the most essential facts in schools. However, facts is not as important compared to ideas and concepts. Many innovators were able to make a step forward in technology because of their imaginative ideas and concepts.
_This is shown by Marie Curie, one of the most brilliant female scientists in history. She was an avant-garde in the movement of female intellectuals. Despite many renowned universities' refusal of acceptance because of her gender, Curie still pursued her scientific dream and graduated from college with a physics major. Later on, she won 2 Noble Prizes for her scientific discoveries. One of her discoveries was the element Radium. Curie had no knowledge of the element Radium when she first started her research. It was her tenacity to explore new ideas and concepts that made her successful at finding the new element. Thus, previously learned facts were inconsequential in Curie's discovery of Radium.
_One of the most loved book, The Ender's Game, also proved that ideas were more important than facts. In the book, Ender, a six year old boy, was sent to a military school to be trained for the next commandeer of spaceships. The military generals purposely chose Ender and moved him from teams to teams to prevent him from becoming regid-minded like the rest of the trainees. The military generals recognized that the only way Ender can save Earth from alien invasions is to have innovative military strategies. The end of the book proved that the generals were correct to keep Ender flexible-minded. Therefore, Ender was able to become a successful commandeer because of his ideas and concepts, not his previously learned old-fashioned war tactics.
_After a careful analysis of Marie Curie's discovery of Radium and Ender's key to success, we can conclude that ideas and concepts are, indeed, more important than facts. In order for progress to take place, innovative ideas and concepts are essential. Without new ideas, we would not have any of the conveniences we have today.</p>

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<p>That was a good essay! I absolutely love the examples you offered. However, you only provided examples and you did not mention major ideas. So as an outline, the essay should be like this:</p>

<p>Facts are not as important as ideas.</p>

<p>Reason 1: Unlike solid facts,ideas pave a way for new discoveries
Example 1: Marie Curie</p>

<p>Reason 2: Ideas improve one’s knowledge thus resulting in one’s successz
Example 2: Ender’s key to success.</p>

<p>Did you get what I mean? It’s more organized if you bluntly state your reason in each paragraph then support it with an example from history, movies, documents… Etc

  • One grammar error in the introduction: Facts ARE not as important. (not “is”)</p>

<p>Other than that, it’s quite interesting. I give it a 4 :)</p>

<p>If you abide by my remarks, I would give you a 6.</p>

<p>Hope I helped!</p>

3

<p>Thanks for the comments and help! :slight_smile: So basically I have to tie the example to the point I am getting across better.</p>

4

<p>Yes, exactly. Good luck!</p>