Help rate my essay? & my chances :D

<p>Hi all,
here's an essay I wrote; if you could give me an idea of how much it would score, that would help me quite a bit :D thanks!!!</p>

<p>Q: (Something about) Do you agree concepts are more important than facts?</p>

<p>"In the formation of knowledge, we require not only logic, but true premises in order to effectively practice syllogism. In the same manner, scoring well for this SAT essay does not only ask of me to write with critical thinking, but to support with examples. Hence, despite the apparent disparity between fact and concepts, these two identities are actually interalated, and may even be ependent on each other. However, if the main criteria for importance refers to how primarily crucial a subject is, then I believe concepts would be aptly described as not only foundational, but also a nexus, and facts are only secondary in result.</p>

<p>Concepts and ideas provide a basis for linking facts together. When scientists are presented with observational data - facts - a significant and substantial outcome only arises when these scientists are able to derive a relationship - a concept- out of the raw data. Similiarly, philosopher Immanuel Kant concedes to this idea by proposing his theory of innate structures and understanding in the mind that allows us to grasp facts we experience. His concept of synthetic a priori knowledge - innate knowledge of concepts, but not facts - supports the claim that ideas may be more fundamental, acting as "permissions" for us to understand facts.</p>

<p>By applying this idea to reality, we can also see many instances when mere facts just would not do. Many students in my country, Singapore, rely heavily on memorisation of facts and figures to ace exams, but are set back considerably when they are faced with questions not explored earlier in class. The government has thus decided to advocate a "teaching less is more" approach to education, as it appears students cannot be considered academically competitive if concepts are not grasped.</p>

<p>However, a concession must be made here, and that is facts are also important to some extent for progress in our knowledge. For example, by providing ground research in a scientific pursuit not only convinces the public of the truth of one's theories, but also tests this concept lest there are discrepencies between perception and reality. Hence, in this way, facts can represent a confirmation tool, and also aids in persuasiveness.</p>

<p>Facts and concepts are an inseparable pair if one strives for deep understanding and success. However, I would believe grasping ideas as a preliminary step towards this endeavor, and thus it remains slightly more important than facts."</p>

<p>Hm... some convolution, and grammatical errors. I think it's also slightly disjointed? All written in 25 mins though.
I recently got my Dec scores back, and got a 10 for my essay. (not this one) I only wrote about my personal experience, and gave less historical / yadayda examples..
This essay above however, is my other writing style and I was wondering if it was better?</p>

<p>Thanks so much!!!</p>

<p>Stats: </p>

<p>720 CR (Less than I expected), 800 M, 790 W (Exceeded my expectations!)
total: 2310, first try</p>

<p>Should I take SATS again? Or should I just concentrate on SATII?
I'm a.. junior I think? Over here, I'm JC 1, I go to college in 2008, age 17. </p>

<p>Hooks: ( I'm not quite sure what a hook is....)
-Dad's Yale alumni (Donates often. lol. nothing to do with my college app really, he just really enjoyed his time there)
-asian but american citizen.
- Not on financial aid.
- In one of the top junior colleges here in Singapore - Raffles Junior College</p>

<p>Plenty of social work:
-Tsunami aid relief project
- lots of flagging on the streets (Children homes, WWF, Kidney foundation, Girl's homes, etc)
- Buskin for bone marrow program donations
- Fair trade club to bring FT into Singapore
- Community based year long fashion show project (involved ministers and such)
- lots of visits to charity homes
- Organizing Asian Community leader forum now (Leading women's issues group)
- Christmas carolling
- member of Very Special Arts Singapore (VSA, arts for disabled)
- hundreds and hundreds of community work hours i suspect.</p>

<p>Extra curricular:
-Violin grade 7, been in String ensemble since young (Singapore Youth Festival Gold & Silver award)
-Guitar ensemble (year 9-10) (Singapore Youth Festival Gold award)
-Now plays e. guitar & sings in school rock club
-Indian dance club, committee member (not indian though..)(many performances, hopefully a festival gold next year)
-Astronomy club (Organizing interschools astronomy camp nxt year, organized Astronight for International Physics Olympiad held here this year)
-Math club (year 9-10)
-starting Fashion Design Association club next year,
-Paints like crazy, hoping to get school's arts award nxt year for work in Fashion Design Association set up, & involvement in Very Special Arts Singapore, & other things I"m lining up for myself.</p>

<p>Academic:
- Rigorous curriculum, taking Physics, economics, KI (Knowledge Inquiry, it's like epistimology + some more philosophy), Maths, Biology, and advanced Maths.
- A's for everything, except Economics & Bio (Working on econs, damn thing, bio was big essay mistake). Going for straight A's next year.
- Been in government's Gifted Education Program since 8 yo,
- American Maths Comp Honor Roll,
- Australian Maths comp high distinction every year,
- Knowledge Inquiry Selection Test Certificate for distinction (only given to a few)
- Not much other academic stuff, school only gives out awards to top like.... 5 or something. And my school has like 2000 people or more....
hm.
- Going to try get into Physics Olympiad next year.</p>

<p>I think! That's about it.... please help my judge my chances? Schools I aim for are:
Yale, Stanford, Berkeley, Duke, Princeton, Cornell, and maybe NYU. </p>

<p>Also, if you have any ideas, :D what do you think I need to do in order to secure my chances? Thank you so much.</p>

<p>Love, Grace</p>

<p>Oh!</p>

<p>and I've also had work experience:
Year 8 & 9 as a waitress (god those managers were hell)
This year at National Cancer Center, internship under an oncologist</p>

<p>Hoping to get internship longterm nxt year :D but I have GCE A levels :( Which arent' that important since US colleges will prob nv see those scores >:( Darn system!!!</p>

<p>AND!
Filming experience:
Year long film project exploring psychological & family issues. Created a low budget indie film :D</p>

<p>Fashion design for old folk's home :D haha! Old ladies very happy I swear</p>

<p>Organized a fashion show at Thai Embassy here in SIngapore.</p>

<p>Yea I have this thing with fashion, i figured it was one of the best ways to earn moolah with art :) haha!
My plan was to go to yale, take side classes at NY art institute. yeh...</p>

<p>I dont know why you are even worried...you should stand a excellent chance at all schools you apply to. With your family donating to Yale, I'd say you have a good chance of getting in there. Do NOT be bothered to retake the SATs, 2310 is high enough. Your stats are nothing short of amazing.</p>

<p>Alrighty you have totally soothed my nerves woohw,
(which were jumpin about because the val & geniuses at my school have 1000x the stuff I have on my stats....o dear.)</p>

<p>You know, I guess all these chances rating thing are really for comfort aint it?
Just wouldn't know how to face folks and all after all the raving about yale..</p>

<p>sorry, would anyone else like to comment?
thank you!</p>

<p>There's a Raffles high school? Wow. Sorry... I just find that interesting. I go to Singapore every 2 months, staying at the Raffles Hotel (which is nice :)) and I just find it interesting that there's Raffles Hospital, Raffles Mall, Raffles Plaza, Raffles City, Raffles Convention Centre, Raffles Statue, Raffles class (on Singapore Airlines), Raffles Hall (in National University of Singapore), Raffles Cup, Raffles MRT station, Raffles Country Club, etc. It seems that everything is named Raffles :D</p>