Freshman year I had about an 84 average overall, I played lacrosse, and was in the culinary club. Unfortunately for me, I barely played in any of the lacrosse games because the team is so good. I was lucky to even make the team. My Dad gave me the option to leave after freshman year, but I turned it down because I wanted to make him proud. Note: my Dad went to the same school, and donates a lot of money to it.
Sophomore year began and It was much harder than freshman. I had already taken the freshman Spanish course, so it was much easier, but sophomore spanish was difficult. Religion is also extremely hard, and Im failing it. (failing here is a 75 or below) I take comprehensive exams at the end of the year which counts for 50% of my grade, I need to pass it so I don’t have to go to summer school. I also got cut from the lacrosse team sophomore year, and my social life kept on plummeting. My friends from my town stopped talking to me, and my friends at school were the lacrosse kids.
Now my Dad says he doesn’t think I should leave because he thinks I wont be able to handle my work in a public school environment because its not structured. He’s also very narrow minded, and not open to anyone else’s opinion. I used to get many benefits at my old school, like extra time on tests because of my ADHD, and no cuts for sports.
My question is, how would going back affect my chances at going to a good college. The public school I would go back to is #16 in NY and #81 in the country.
Will the public even take you in jr year? Or are you auto entry by boundary? Will you get the classes you want? The sophs will have done their selections by now. The public school would probably be more academically rigorous for the motivated students, no? You might be worse off if the rigour is higher but you don't compete in that rigorous group.
My son left an all-boys Jesuit college preparatory high school after 9th grade for the local, decidedly average public school three blocks away. He was admitted to Northwestern, Amherst, and Ohio State and wait listed at Notre Dame, Chicago, and Stanford. I do think he would have gotten into ND if he’d stayed in private school.
It sounds like your public high school is a better environment for you to succeed. I live near you and know of quite a few kids who have left the same school and are happy and doing well in their local school. Your current school has a great reputation, but its environment is not best for everyone. Approach your Dad with a well thought out proposal, including resources you will take advantage of if you transfer, and I hope he will consider it.
I have experience with public and private schools in two states. Average, and especially below average, students get lost and forgotten in public schools (Just my experience). Be sure you know exactly what you are getting into. Have you had a good conversation with any counselors?
Other than his “narrow mindedness”, what reasons does dad have for his opinions?
To be honest, it’s costing him big bucks to keep you in Catholic school. Yet he sincerely believes it’s best for you, even if you don’t agree.
Lacrosse and your social life aren’t his highest concerns; he’s concerned that you’ll slip through the cracks in a different environment. And that happens more often than you would believe. No, not for the typical CC, A +, 4.5 GPA kid. But for the average, “good enough to make the team but not see much playing time”, “84 average if you count gym”, “my social life took a real hit when I went to a new school” kind of kd.
I feel badly for your dad. Your contempt of him shines through your post, and he’s still willing to spend a lot of money on what he sincerely feels is better for you. He must love you a lot, in spite of his many faults.
Did you have an IEP for your ADHD at your original school? If you did, and your current school is not following that IEP and is not keeping it up to date, then there are legal processes that can be followed that can force your public school district to provide certain services for you at your private school.
But it would be much easier for you to go back to the public school where the Resources Office will be able to update your IEP and provide the services (such as extended time) that you qualify for. To be perfectly honest, by sending you to a school where you don’t receive those services, your dad has set you up for difficulties. Granted, he isn’t someone who works in the learning disability field, so there really isn’t any way for him to know about the probable negative effects of his choices.
Do you have a mom or other family member who can help you get your dad to re-think things? Clearly, he really loves his old school and so of course he would think it is the best place possible for you. However, it clearly isn’t. So he needs to know that loving his school, and donating money there is perfectly fine, even though your own best high school is a completely different place.
Wishing you all the best!
It wouldn’t affect you at all. If you have an option that is that good, then private school is a waste of money. Tell your dad to move on. If you aren’t successful there, then maybe it is time for a switch. Your father likely has very limited knowledge on public schools and is making assumptions based on the stereotype that private is better. My public school in NY which isn’t even ranked is very structured.