Okay so I’ll try an explain this in as little context as I can. My senior prom is in about 6 months (we have plenty of time!) and I have been totally convinced that no one is going to ask me. So today I was talk to my friend (who is a guy) about it and I kind of just asked him to go with me. we’re not together or a couple or anything but I kind of just thought why not? he doesn’t even live in the same town as me he lives about three hours away so it’s not his prom either.
Anyways, in the beginning there was this one guy that I really wanted to go to prom with - and I kinda still do but I honestly thought he wasn’t going to ask me. But his mum and my mum are friends and apparently he was wanting to ask me to go with him! I only asked this other guy last week but thing is it’s not his prom. I know this might sound bad but wouldn’t it make more sense to go with someone from your school so you’re both having what supposed to be one of the greatest nights of your life? Both these guys are two very close friends of mine and I just feel terrible about what’s going on.
The guy at my school doesn’t know that I already have a date either. Am I going with the wrong guy??? Which one should I be going with?? what I’m thinking is that I should be going with someone from my school if he wants to go with me because it’s his night to, and if we went together we’d both be happy. If I go with the other guy then there’s a happy kid who doesn’t go to my school plus he’ll have his prom later on in the year (so he’ll go to two) while the guy from my school is sitting there thinking he could have gone with me but didn’t. I’m really stuck on the fence here.
Can someone help me??? Which guy should I go with and it would be great if you said why as well!
You should go with the guy you asked. If the one you wanted to go with asks say sorry, you already have a date, but it is just as friends. And suggest that maybe you can go out and do something else sometime (movie, hiking, coffee, etc). I assume (hope) your goal isn’t just a one-night date anyway, but an actual dating relationship. Don’t over-emphasize prom, it is just one event.
I honestly believe that you should go with the guy that you wanted to initially go with. Like you said, the other guy is going to have his prom, anyways. Might as well be at your prom with who you actually want to be with. It’s your night, girl. Do what you want. Yes, it may only be one night, but as the old saying goes, “Live every day as if it’s your last.” Just explain to the other guy the whole situation and hopefully, he understands.
Haha… it may seem like that now, but you’re really overstating the significance of prom. Realizing that it is just one night among many nights will help you see this more clearer.
Like the others here, I agree. It’s insincere and disrespectful, imo, to ditch one guy for the other just because the “better” guy asked you. If you want to pursue a relationship with the one from your school, why wait six months from now to go to prom together? Go for coffee or something. But you were the one who arranged the prom date this far in advance and now that’s who you should be going with.
I’m wondering why on earth you feel you need a date for this 6 months in advance? Is this normal at your school? It’s just a dance. I know people whose engagements were much shorter than that.
I agree with @mathyone^^^, why do you have to book prom dates six months in advance?
It’s one dance. You will be extremely disappointed if you think this is supposed to be the best night of your life. It’s a dance where you get to play dress-up. (I was surprised by some of my friends at my prom many, many years ago who claimed that they were disappointed, saying it wasn’t up to the hype. I found it to be fun, so it’s all in how you see it.)
Cancel with the long distance guy. You’ll save him from driving 3 hours to help out a friend who’d rather be with someone else. You’ll be doing him a favor.
“one of the greatest nights of your life”?? Sorry, only in sitcoms.
In real life, the greatest times of my life were spent with people who had staying power-- my parents, my siblings, my husband, my kids. Not someone I went to a dance with when I was 17.
The guy you did ask-- is he doing you a favor or is he happy to be attending? I think that’s what everything hinges about. The moment you asked him, this stopped being about you. You invited him to an event, and pulling that invitation because you got a better offer would be hurtful thing to do.
So if this prom is a responsibility he’s fulfilling because you’re friends- if it’s just a favor he’s doing for you- then it’s one thing. But if it’s a night out with an old friend that he’s looking forward to, then I think you’ve got to keep the plans you’ve made and show him a nice night out.
The fact that " I only asked this other guy last week but thing is it’s not his prom. I know this might sound bad but wouldn’t it make more sense to go with someone from your school so you’re both having what supposed to be one of the greatest nights of your life?..that I should be going with someone from my school if he wants to go with me because it’s his night to, and if we went together we’d both be happy. If I go with the other guy then there’s a happy kid who doesn’t go to my school plus he’ll have his prom later on in the year"-- these are all just excuses you’re making to justify a choice that you suspect is wrong. None of those things have changed since you invited an old friend to accompany you so that you could go to the prom.
I think you should discuss this with your current date. My guess is he agreed just to help you out–or maybe he now thinks you want to be his girlfriend. Honestly, would you want to drive 3 hours each way to attend a school event where you don’t know anyone, will likely never see them again, and everyone else knows everyone and is probably talking about in-jokes and school stuff that you don’t know anything about? I think you need to discuss this and most likely find another way to celebrate with your long distance friend.
You should tone down expectations. It’s just another dance with longer dresses. You also should be honest with yourself about why you felt a need to drag your friend into not-his-prom 6 entire months in advance. Plenty of kids at our school go without dates and have a nice time. Plenty of kids form relationships during senior year and find a date they would not have expected to have. Why are you so afraid of not having a date that you have to plan this so far ahead?
Ah Senior prom stress haha those were good times for me xD The reality of prom from my experience is that unless if you two cuddle at the table the whole night, you guys are going to be bouncing up and down to upbeat music and are most likely going to be pushed around by the big crowd of people. Your date is mostly there to just wear the same colors as you and you can still be in pictures with that other guy.
It’s unethical and rude but if you are really really interested in going with guy#2 then sincerely apologize to guy#1, at least if he has any confusion about you being interested in him, he’ll get over it.
Arranging a date so far ahead wasn’t really a brilliant idea as you aren’t involved with that guy. By the way, don’t overlook probabilities of gyu#1 backing out or guy#2 asking someone else instead. It’s highschool, most interests fade away in 6 months.
If nothing works out, go with your friends and enjoy the night. Its really not that big of a deal in bigger picture of your life.
Disclaimer: This advice isn’t applicable to anyone who is trying to ditch a guy from their school to go with another guy from that school . That would be cruel.
but I honestly thought he wasn’t going to ask me. But his mum and my mum are friends and apparently he was wanting to ask me to go with him! I only asked this other guy last week but thing is it’s not his prom. I know this might sound bad but wouldn’t it make more sense to go with someone from your school so you’re both having what supposed to be one of the greatest nights of your life? Both these guys are two very close friends of mine and I just feel terrible about what’s going on.