<p>And that is exactly why they were on her list. It was an issue of “fit”. She also got a lot of merit money at four lower ranked LACs that are more traditional. So maybe the message to the OP isn’t just “don’t try to change your kid into something he isn’t”, but also “find the colleges where they want what your kid is”. Something about loving the kid on the couch – but in this case, it is “find the colleges” that will love the kid on the couch.</p>
<p>Another thought I have on this is that there is a more subtle kind of leadership than the named positions, and that is leading by example. It is something my D and I have actually discussed, as it has very much been my trademark as a manager in my career. I am never afraid to roll my sleeves up and do the dirty work along with my staff, and I think it has gotten me a long ways in my career. Sometimes people follow me just because they know I am competent… and I think if my D is ever going to be a leader, it will be for the same reasons. If the OP thinks hard about it, there might be ways to weave that kind of leadership into an application, too.</p>
<p>Leadership = toe-the-line. My kids (generally) wish to please authority figures. If they didn’t (in most cases) I wouldn’t respect them any less.</p>
<p>And maybe that is why my D2 has no “real leadership”. She has absolutely no interest in pleasing authority figures – believe me, as an “authority figure” (eg, parent), often I wish she did! But I think some colleges have figured out that sometimes those students are indeed the ones they want. For example, I suspect a whole lot of Nobel prize winners did not “toe the line” or work to please authority figures. They don’t want a kid who will blow the place up or drop out, but a unique and independent streak is welcome at some schools.</p>
<p>My son is one of those types. He worked within the system, but was constantly in his counselor’s office getting approvals and waivers for various things that no one else in the school ever managed to get: he graduated in 3 years, took his first college class as a high school freshman, got multiple prerequisite wavers, took online classes and more APs than were officially allowed, and designed his own community service project.</p>
<p>Two of the 4 elite schools that accepted him were Brown and Amherst, both of which have a open curriculum with no distribution requirements. These schools seem to especially like independent thinkers, because they already have their own plans and don’t need or want the early hand-holding inherent in gen-ed classes.</p>
<p>I wonder US Presidents exhibited their leadership qualities during high school life.
I just finished watching the FDR documentary film and it said FDR was just an average if not unfit student at Groton. But he led the country longer than any other president.</p>