re#216:
" I did not mean to imply that Oberlin’s grounds were unkempt"
You didn’t imply it in any way. I brought it up myself, as something some others have said, along the same lines as your comment about Vassar in #202. (whether or not you really meant that about Vassar, they did mean it about Oberlin).
In our case, the “disappointment” about kid not wanting alma mater,to the extent it existed, was not that they should apply there anyway even though it didn’t fit. It was more like the one thing we could maybe give them, that could help them a little maybe in this stressful process, is a legacy preference bump. And sadly it didn’t fit so we couldn’t give them that little bit of assistance. Besides which I like excuses to visit alma mater. Not sure wife feels the same though, about hers.
My D2 actually did wind up transferring to my alma mater later on, and it really was/is kind of nice having her there and sharing that common bond. But at that time she decided that she wanted to go there, which was not the case out of HS. Sometimes what they think they want, before they actually experience it, isn;t what they really want, as it turns out. Despite best efforts to decipher up-front.