help needed

<p>our family is new to this college admission frenzy and admission processes. My son is currently freshman and has had an extremely hard time adjusting to high school. His GPA was a joke compared to his middle school gpa where his GPA was 3.5 weighted and 3.33 unweighted. he is currently taking only 2 honors classes because our counselor wanted him to start slowly. he has had some bad teachers and I have had 3 conferences with 2 of his teachers and they were the harshest and the coldest people i have ever encountered in my life. The teachers destroyed his dream of every attending ucla or usc and now he is just trying to get back on his feet and get straight A's like he used to in middle school. Can any parents give me some suggesstions on how my son can still manage to do great in high school and possibly have a shot at ucla or usc? Thank you</p>

<p>What were the main complaints from the teachers? Is he struggling with all his courses?</p>

<p>In your mind, what are the adjustment issues?</p>

<p>Fortunately, this is one the reasons for freshman year. . .transition. Student adjustments based on feeback, and perhaps a look at another school if the faculty doesn't look to sharp would be the first things I'd look at.</p>

<p>he is not struggling in all his course. these were his grades
Geometry honors but no weight on GPA- C(this teacher could not teach and i know)
honors world history A
biology-B
spanish I-A
english I-A</p>

<p>well as you can see math was the only thing he was struggling in. well, the math teacher said my son had no chance at UCLA or USC. I have no idea why she had to embarass my son in front of the class like that and she said that my son doesnt pay attention in class. well, when i heard this, i went into my son's back pack and pulled out his binder and saw that he had taken down notes from the teacher's lectures starting from the first day of school and showed it to the teacher. I told her that if he didnt pay attention, then why does he have notes from her lectures starting from the first day of school. well, she seemed to some up with no answer. right now, me and parents from the class is putting together a petition to fire her from her teaching position.</p>

<p>well i think his adjustment issues were not knowing how the high school worked. He could not find his class for the first 2 weeks and his study habits had to be changed. now he managed to change his entire study habits. Well, what he can do to start succeeding in school and have a chance at his dream schools.</p>

<p>^ Can anyone answer my question ?</p>

<p>Teachers have no business making dire predictions about a 14 year old boy. </p>

<p>On the other hand, you might want to wait before you pursue any action agaisnt this teacher. Trying to 'fire' her might be a poor politcal move if the semester is not over and if you have other children coming up through the school.</p>

<p>I don't think your S will be excluded from USC because of one low grade in Geometry. However, you might be wise to find an outside Geometry tutor for your son. Perhaps he missed osme critical bit of information in the first part of the year. A tutor could fill in the gaps. Tutors can be real confidence boosters for boys. find a tutor who teaches advanced students, preferably one who teaches up through Calculus.</p>

<p>He still has some weeks left in the year, correct? He could get a great grade on the final? </p>

<p>Also, as painful as it is to watch, this struggle will teach your son some good lessons.</p>

<p>well he has made a huge study habit change and is getting an B+. I think he has finally understood how to study. Well, the firing the teacher idea was from another parent who was insulted by the teacher. But is there any suggestions such as join clubs?, volunteer?, do research? what extra curricular activitites are out there for my son? well he is enjoying debate and book club so far..but any other extra curricular activites?</p>

<p>Okay. So he conquered GEometry? He's okay in Geometry? There's no shame in tutoring you know.</p>

<p>Something worries you about your son. Is he unhappy or depressed? Waht kind of personality does he have? Does he have a few close friends? Does he play sports?</p>

<p>ok..this is the truth. He conquered geometry and now knows how to study for it now for sure. I am worried he might be depressed. He is overall a funny guy and very smart, but he takes school very seriously now. He seems to give up his social life for school and even gave up a sport (golf) so he can have that extra hour of studying. since he gave up golf, i am trying to get him into some extracurricular activities that have to do nothing with school. I think its the fact that schools are getting so competitive and students in his grades are realizing that.</p>

<p>Is this your eldest child?</p>

<p>Is there a chance that he takes school seriously because you take it so seriously? </p>

<p>For example--and I write this in the gentlest manner--you talk about the math teacher "destroying his dream" and you are (possibly) wishful for the "straight A's he got in middle school". Some of your words are very extreme.</p>

<p>Is it possible that he is trying too hard to live up to your expectations? </p>

<p>These are a few questions to think about. May I ask your family cultural background? Do you come from a culture of extraordinary academic expectations?</p>

<p>I have one secret about teenage happiness in high school and that is: team sports. High school team sports give INSTANT social credibility. Team sports provide an INSTANT family and a substitute parent (coach). </p>

<p>Team sports generally provide an outlet for excess hormones, energies and frustrations. Hard training sessions provide a sense of accomplishment that can translate into confidence in academic areas; ie "I survived that practice. I can probably do such and such too!'</p>

<p>Team sport schedules help the student learn organization and self-discipline. Team rules provide an excuse not to smoke or drink.</p>

<p>I advise my friends who are middle school parents to think ahead to a high school team sport. If the child does not play a team sport or does not play adequately--consider a summer sports camps or one-on-one coaching to give the kid a leg up.</p>

<p>It doesn't matter if the student has little to no natural talent. It doesn't matter if the student is on the A or B or C or D team. It doesn't matter if the student doesn't get much playing time. All that matters is that there is a group of peers to meet, several times a week, a group where the student belongs.</p>

<p>he is my oldest son. I always expect him to do his best but never forced him to study. I am korean and our academic background is weak. Basically, no one in our history has ever finished college. we either went to the military or went to work. My son took school seriously after he saw his cousin drop out of high school and realized he had to do good in school. OH, the sports team..well he was in the varsity golf team...but seems he can't get along with people who are really obnoxious with their skills. Thats partially why he gave up sports teams</p>

<p>Could he find an interest in another sport? Wrestling? Soccer?</p>

<p>Even though your academic background is weak, the Korean culture does have extraordinary academic 'expectations'. You might sub-conciously embody these expectations. He might feel the pressure from the larger Korean culture.</p>

<p>In any event, there is a thread I want you to read. </p>

<p>It is a student thread called ** Asian Parents -_-' ~~~!!!!**. It is in College Admissions March 2004 archives. </p>

<p>You can access it by clicking on:
<a href="http://www.collegeconfidential.com/discus/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.collegeconfidential.com/discus/&lt;/a>
and doing a search from there.</p>

<p>I think it gives a realistic, wry look at the other side of parental expectations--from a student's point of view. Your S might enjoy reading it too. He could see that he is not the only one putting himself under too much pressure! :)</p>

<p>It is 8 pm on Friday night here. I am going to the movies! You should get some sleep!</p>

<p>To echo some of Cheers' comments:
Your son has had to make some adjustments as most students do in freshman year. He seems to be doing well, though, so don't fret.
ECs are a good way of adjusting to school and making friends. For many colleges, they are also quite important. They can be sports, they can be academic EC (such as Mock Trial, Science Team) they can be arts (band, drama) or a variety of other things. Look up post by Tlaktan, a Korean-American from LA who has been accepted at some fabulous schools (and is waiting for more great news). Tlaktan is in JROTC. It consumes a huge amount of his time but it also has provided him with some great skills, such as discipline, organization, and people skills.
It's very important to acquire some study skills; I'm glad that your son has gotten some. Many parents seem to equate studying a lot with doing well. The fact is that studying efficiently is the key to success.
I see that your son has gotten some As. Perhaps a talk with his GC to get him into Honors classes next year in the subjects in which he excels is in order.
Finally, there are many many schools within UC. Your son should do his best, but if you read about who got into specific UCs over the last couple of years, things have gotten very tough because of sheer demographics. While this means that it may be harder to get into some schools, it can also mean that the quality of education available at others will improve by the sheer fact that more excellent students will be attending them.</p>

<p>My freshman D who has always been a straight A student and done very well in math, has had a tough time adjusting to geometry honors too. THe teacher is notoriously tough. I made a deal with my D that she would have so much time to turn the situation around or I would urge a meeting to discuss the situation and include her. We found a tutor and made that available to her. HOwever, she opted to meet almost daily with her teacher and another student in the same situation. I am happy to say she has brought her grade up to a 93 and learned a few really important things: not to blame others for her struggles but instead to make a plan and try to identify and solve the problem. She feeels so much better about herself and so proud of being able to handle it on her own. I have to say my first mother bear instinct was that there must be a problem with the teacher and I wanted to solve the problem. My daughter was very mature about it and showed me a new way to approach the situation. We are all learning in this process of parenting....I am in no way suggesting that this is the same situation for you but rather offering a happy "ending" to give you encouragement.</p>

<p>If your child has a weak teacher, pay for a tutor or have your son arrange to be in a study group with other students. Unfortunately, sometimes our kids get weak teachers and there's nothing that we can do about changing the teachers. We can, though, arrange for tutoring to help our child learn.</p>

<p>I think that you are going way overboard to take up a petition to get the math teacher fired. I think it would have been appropriate to find out what exactly the teacher was referring to when she said your son was not paying attention.</p>

<p>It's possible that he was not paying attention even though he does take notes. If he happened to not be paying attention, and she chastized him for that in class, what she did could have been very appropriate.</p>

<p>Often students are not the best reporters of their own behavior -- even when they are trying hard to be honest.</p>

<p>
[quote]
our family is new to this college admission frenzy and admission processes. My son is currently freshman and has had an extremely hard time adjusting to high school. His GPA was a joke compared to his middle school gpa where his GPA was 3.5 weighted and 3.33 unweighted. he is currently taking only 2 honors classes because our counselor wanted him to start slowly. he has had some bad teachers and I have had 3 conferences with 2 of his teachers and they were the harshest and the coldest people i have ever encountered in my life. The teachers destroyed his dream of every attending ucla or usc and now he is just trying to get back on his feet and get straight A's like he used to in middle school. Can any parents give me some suggesstions on how my son can still manage to do great in high school and possibly have a shot at ucla or usc? Thank you

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Well, the middle school comparison really doesn't work. I can tell you right off the bat, I had a .. what, a 1.7 middle school GPA? I slacked off majorly, most of my teachers called me "bright, but lazy." Ds and Fails were commonplace and well, I knew why. When I went to high school, the shock I received in middle school -- all the failure -- convinced me I had to turn my life around, and I started over. </p>

<p>I find it pretty spectacular that I wanted to start over at a place where -- once again, failure was commonplace. My high school is a PI-IV improvement school -- on the verge of complete failure declared under No Child Left Behind. </p>

<p>My high school overall GPA is 3.875 weighted, and my rank is 10th out of 724, now. You could say that I did a complete "about face" from when I was in middle school. Sure, in junior year, I slacked off a little, but by the time I was through trying to make up for my failure in middle school, I had done enough work and burned enough steam to take rest for a while.</p>

<p>In retrospect, I don't regret any of the decisions I made. Maybe in middle school, but even then, it was a learning experience for me. I started high school wanting to go to the University of California, Riverside. How much has changed! </p>

<p>Adjusting was a bit difficult. The ethnic composition of my HS is.. well, you don't find too many Korean Americans there. But I grew up in an environment where I wasn't wholly reliant on people from my own culture; I learned to make connections with people of different cultures.. and well, it sorta just went off from there. So I'm in a different situation, I haven't had the need to make that cultural adjustment like many first-generation Koreans have had to do.. </p>

<p>
[quote]
he is not struggling in all his course. these were his grades
Geometry honors but no weight on GPA- C(this teacher could not teach and i know)
honors world history A
biology-B
spanish I-A
english I-A

[/quote]
</p>

<p>First semester of ninth grade, I had NO weights on any of my grades, and I ended up with a 3.3 UW/W.</p>

<p>Algebra 2 - C
English 9A - B
Life Skills - A
Korean 2A - A
JROTC - A
Biology - B</p>

<p>Second semester:</p>

<p>I ended out with a 3.6.</p>

<p>
[quote]
well as you can see math was the only thing he was struggling in. well, the math teacher said my son had no chance at UCLA or USC. I have no idea why she had to embarass my son in front of the class like that and she said that my son doesnt pay attention in class. well, when i heard this, i went into my son's back pack and pulled out his binder and saw that he had taken down notes from the teacher's lectures starting from the first day of school and showed it to the teacher. I told her that if he didnt pay attention, then why does he have notes from her lectures starting from the first day of school. well, she seemed to some up with no answer. right now, me and parents from the class is putting together a petition to fire her from her teaching position.</p>

<p>well i think his adjustment issues were not knowing how the high school worked. He could not find his class for the first 2 weeks and his study habits had to be changed. now he managed to change his entire study habits. Well, what he can do to start succeeding in school and have a chance at his dream schools.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I agree with some of the parents; it's not the best course of action to petition to have a teacher transferred/fired. Oftentimes, a worse teacher comes to fill in his/her spot, and well..</p>

<p>Like some of the parents have said here, I am a Battalion Commander/All-City Colonel in JROTC. Some of my predecessors in my position have gone to West Point, but the most important thing that I've been taught is to broaden my horizons. My parents had a similar mentality earlier on -- to think just USC, UCLA, Stanford, etc., But I learned that there was another world out there.. Williams (the #1 Liberal Arts College), Vanderbilt, Notre Dame -- and other colleges took me in and now I'm waiting for the rest.</p>

<p>My parents had formal education in Korea but relatively little here in the States. My father had his bachelors from CSULB, my mother an AA degree in Child Development. Back in Korea, I believe they had something equivalent to Bachelors or Masters, even. I am the first one in my family to go to college in the United States.</p>

<p>I don't know exactly what to say, except be supportive, except not too forcefully. My parents were TOO involved with my academics in middle school, and that really worked against me. When they gave me my space in high school, I learned to take the responsibility for what it was -- and slowly improved.</p>

<p>Unlike the expectations of most Korean parents, not all of us are good in the mathematics and sciences department. Maybe your son would like to try out the liberal arts?</p>

<p>Tlaktan, Congrats on all your acceptances. Is that the complete list to date?</p>

<p>Very nice of you to join this conversation. Sometimes an older student's perspective is valuable to a worried parent.</p>

<p>yo pops (haha dont take it too personally)..don't worry. Just tell you son to enjoy high school and show a rising trend. I'm sure if your son got sum good EC's and does good on the college admission tests, he have good chances at top schools. I mean, to tell u the truth, ur son's GPA is pretty decent. You are talking to a guy who had a 3.4 GPA WEIGHTED WEIGHTED in the first semester and got 2 C's. WEll, the next semester, came back with only once C. Then soph-junior Years, only 3 B's total. just make adjustments slowly and sure get a tutor on the weaknesses he might have. Oh, by the way, i got accepted to UCLA..haha well, you must realize that most if not all college hardly put wighted on freshman grades. Just tell you son to follow his passions and carry it out throughout high school. My passion was teaching and wrote in my essays some extremely sad and funny times when i taught kids. Tell join a club which he has interest in. well ur son's high school gpa and classes were similar. here was mine
honors geometry-C
honors biology-C
reg. eng.I-A
world history-B
spanish -A
gpa-3.4 weighted.
i understand you are realizing the extreme competition in college admission and how every year, colleges are raising the requirements for admission. I nearly shyt in my pants when i heard of the average number of application UCLA receives and the GPA. even thought i was a little bit above the average, i was afraid i might get rejected from the other thousands of applications that were better than mine. I have a younger brother whose freshman and i worry whether the college admission stress will get to him. Tell you son that high school is a once in a life time and enjoy it. I am against this college admission game this world has created because it totally biased because race/income/gender/etc. had been added to the college admission process as a filter. I totally understand you. The bad teachers...trust me...you'll thank in the future. All teachers care about their students. Teachers are not paid much and if they did it for the money, they could have gotten another job. This math teacher you say, i believe he/she has made your son change and made him relaize the best study tactics in order to succeed in school and in life.
COnclusion:You son will succeed. If your son can stand and a conquer a teacher who refuses to teach him and makes up lies to put down his ultimate dream, he can overcome any academic barriers. cheers, awesome job. props to you on that and the post above cheers ^...muy bien. </p>

<p>oww my fingers...too much typing..need dr. pepper.</p>

<p>The UC system does not look at freshman grades -- they calculate GPA from the grades in 10th & 11th grade. My son did not do particularly well in 9th grade - maybe a B+ average - but he had a 4.3 weighted GPA for the UC system and was accepted at Berkeley as well as 2 other campuses. So bottom line - in California, 9th grade doesn't count, as long as the requisite courses are completed.</p>

<p>thank you so much . you guys are the greatest help! This site has been very helpful for me and my son. again, thank you people for your advice and thoughts. =)!</p>