HELP: Parents got divorced/ dad is unwilling to help with the tuition

<p>I have been admitted to Wellesley, and since my household income has been very low, I received a very generous financial aid package. I'll be able to afford the first year of the college, but I'm not sure about the following years.</p>

<p>I have been adopted, and my adoptive parents recently got divorced. The problem is that my dad is planning to leave the house and not even communicate with us. Obviously, he will never fill out the noncustodial parent form or contribute to my tuition. I'm just an adopted child who has been living with him for 3 years, so he doesn't really regard me as his own child. </p>

<p>My mom will support my sister and me. She has a health issue, so she'll earn about 20k at most. I'm not sure about how much my dad will make..(probably over 60k)</p>

<p>I searched if there is a waiver form, but I can't find it for Wellesley. (I don't even know if I'm eligible) I'm just so stressed about this right now..If anyone has any knowledge about these issues, please help me!</p>

<p>Sorry this has happened. Call the Wellesley FA office (or visit it once you get there). They will have the proper forms and can work through it with you. With an already low household income I doubt the FA offer will go down.</p>

<p>What state do you live in? Depending on the state, your dad’s obligation to pay child support will continue while you are a dependent student in college. In some states, a parent also has an obligation to contribute towards college in certain circumstances as well. (even when there isn’t a legal obligation, most private colleges still expect that a noncustodial parent contribute towards college, but how much will vary.)</p>

<p>Wellesley has some of the best financial aid out there and while it may be too late for this year, they may well be able to make adjustments in future years based on your changed family circumstances. Definitely give them a call.</p>

<p>Was your FA pkg this year based on both parents’ incomes? If so, then why will it change next year? Is it because your dad won’t fill out the forms? If so, then you will need to get a waiver for next year. Ask the Wellesley FA office for one.</p>

<p>Although you don’t need a waiver for this fall, you might want to discuss this now with W before enrolling. I’d hate for you to start at W and then have to leave after frosh year because a waiver wasn’t granted.</p>

<p>I think your best points will be that your dad adopted you only 3 years ago and that he doesn’t intend to communicate with the family at all after the divorce. Is your mom your bio mom? </p>

<p>Is your mom going to file for child support for the younger sister? she should. She should also file for some spousal support since her income is much less than his.</p>

<p>Usually there is financial help for college when people adopt an older child. Does your state offer this college help since you are an older adoptee? How will you pay for Wellesley this year? It doesn’t make sense to spend the money to attend
Wellesley for just one year, when in the end your diploma will not say “Wellesley”. Do you have a more affordable school you can attend instead, that you know you can afford every year?</p>

<p>Could you talk to your dad and ask that he please fill out the non-custodial profile form even if he doesn’t plan to contribute towards college costs? Perhaps it would make a difference if you explained that neither you nor your mother would see his form – it goes directly to CSS and isn’t available to either of you.</p>

<p>With two households, a disabled mom, and a total of $80K in income between them, I’d think you’d still be eligible for a good package with Wellesley, especially if you explain the circumstances.</p>

<p>I’m really sorry you’re going through this.</p>

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<p>Perhaps this should start with “sometimes” instead of “usually”. In SOME states there is college aid for students adopted as teens out of the foster care system, but this is not uniformly true. Where I am, that is the case but the state would certainly not pay the cost of attending Wellesley…the state would pay for an instate public university.</p>

<p>It doesn’t sound like the father was planning to pay for THIS upcoming school year either. I’m not sure why the aid would change…unless the only reason is that the father won’t complete the NCP form. Some schools do not require this after the freshman year. </p>

<p>OP…you need to find out what you will need to do in subsequent years to submit your financial aid forms. Ask at Wellesley. They will tell you.</p>

<p>I agree with Thumper. Colleges are not social agencies. When a child is adopted, the adoptive parents are legally their parents and have the same responsibilities as any parents to any students would have, and any exception to this rule would have to be seriously investigated and contemplated. That Wellesley is a private school and is dealing with its own money makes it their decision entirely how they want to go about this. You need to talk to someone at Wellesley who will be willing to advocate for you.</p>

<p>Since you have a scholarship already, and your family income was low already, it is possible that Wellesley can work with you without having your father’s financials. However, your mother may, and probably will request them in any event if a divorce/separation is in process since some form of separation of assets is likely to occur. He may owe alimony/child support, any number of things. Also, for tax purposes, since he has not left yet, or at least has some income as part of the family last year and this, he may legally have to ante up the info for those reasons. That is something that you need to discuss with your mother.</p>

<p>Thank you so much everyone! I live in Washington State. They are going to the court tomorrow, and the divorce will then be over. My adoptive parents filed a bankruptcy as well, so they don’t have alimony, etc. Also, my older sister and I’m both over 18 years old, and I’m not sure if this is the reason, but I know they’re not accountable for the child support. My household income was ~25k (No assets), and Wellesley financial aid covered almost all of the tuition and the housing. If the household income were to stay the same, I’ll be attending the college almost as a full ride. However, I will have no idea about my dad’s income in the subsequent years, and if it increases, My mom, my sister, and I will not be able to afford the tuition of both Wellesley and Emory(my sister’s college). If I’m eligible for the waiver, that would be perfect. </p>

<p>BTW I am adopted to my aunt (bio mom’s younger sister) and uncle, so I understand why he would bother to contribute to my tuition when he divorces my adoptive mother. </p>

<p>I think I answered all of the questions asked above. My dad is not required to pay the child support. My household income was about 25k this year, and it will remain constant or go lower. My only concern is that my dad will probably avoid communicating with us, so he will probably file the tax return on october (not on time for the college financial forms deadline which is April, I believe) </p>

<p>Thank you everyone for the detailed responses, and I plan to call Wellesley this week. I’ll appreciate any further help! Thanks</p>

<p>*BTW I am adopted to my aunt (bio mom’s younger sister) and uncle, so I understand why he would bother to contribute to my tuition when he divorces my adoptive mother. *</p>

<p>???</p>

<p>You were adopted by your mom or were you adopted by your aunt? Or did you mean to say that your aunt is your really your “bio mom” and your mom adopted you from her sister? </p>

<p>Were you legally adopted or did your mom just get legal guardianship of you and your sister?</p>

<p>Regardless of the relationship, when your adoptive father signed the legal paperwork he became your parent by choice and is subject to all of the legal responsibilities. Adoption is a serious commitment. I don’t know how child support laws work in Washington state. Hopefully your adoptive mother has the scoop on all of that. In NY, your adoptive father would be responsible for child support through the college years. In PA, child support ends at age 18. So it depends upon the state and whatever agreement is made in the divorce case.</p>

<p>@mom2collegekids
I’m legally adopted by my relatives. They were my aunt and uncle before, but now they are legally my mother and father. My adoptive mother is my biological mother’s younger sister.</p>

<p>@cptofthehouse</p>

<p>It says, “In Washington, parental child support obligations continue until children turn 18 years old.”</p>

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<p>This would be the case with ALL college students. IF your family income rises, your financial aid gets reduced. I’m not sure why you think you should be exempt from this policy.</p>

<p>@thumper1</p>

<p>I’m concerned that my financial aid might reduce because of my dad’s increase in income, yet he won’t contribute to my tuition at all. If you read my posts from the very beginning, I think you might get a better picture. Thanks for the help though!</p>

<p>I think you should start pursuing waivers from Wellesley now for the next year. Your circumstance is a bit unique because you weren’t adopted as a young child. I think that if you PLAINLY explained your situation (adopted by your aunt and her husband when you were 15), and now your aunt and her husband (your adoptive parents) are divorcing. Explain that because of the unique situation (relative adoption during teen years and then a divorce), that your adoptive dad doesn’t feel any further financial obligation …probably because he went along with the adoption because of the situation with your bio-mom.</p>

<p>WA…why do you think that your dad’s income is going to greatly increase all of the sudden?</p>

<p>I have read the whole thread.</p>

<p>WA…you have a very unusual situation and I don’t say that very often here. Really, the only ones who can give you answers would be at the financial aid office at Wellesley.</p>

<p>Even married parents sometimes won’t contribute to the college education costs of their biological children. That, in and of itself, is not a reason for the financial aid offices to adjust their financial aid awards.</p>

<p>BUT as mom2 says…talk to Wellesley. The school accepted you and provided a good need based aid package. That being the case, it would be prudent to discuss your current family situation with financial aid there to find out what will happen in subsequent years.</p>

<p>@mom2collegekids</p>

<p>I think his friend has introduced him a better job. He wouldn’t tell the family, so we don’t really have any idea. It’s just a speculation.</p>

<p>@thumper1</p>

<p>I’ll definitely talk to the financial aid office. This thread has helped me more than any people have though. Thanks</p>

<p>well, even if he starts a new job rather soon, at least for 2012, it sounds like he’d earn about $30k. Not a whole lot. </p>

<p>Anyway…contact Wellesley about your issue. I think for clarity sake, you should refer to your adoptive parents as your aunt and her husband. And refer to your mom as the one that had her younger sister and her H adopt you for XXXX reasons. And, now your aunt and uncle are divorcing.</p>

<p>The point is that your essentially agreed to provide a roof over your head and food til you were 18. He certainly had no intention of funding college for his ex-wife’s sister’s child that he took in at age 15, especially now that he’s divorced from his wife.</p>

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<p>Neither does ANY other step parent or adoptive parent at this age. I don’t think financial aid is predicated on the adoptive dad’s intention of paying.</p>

<p>HOWEVER, some of this may hinge on the reason for the adoption. You should be prepared to provide the details, if requested, by Wellesley’s financial aid folks. If, for example, you were the subject of abuse, it would be very different than if your mom remarried and left you. </p>

<p>I am sorry for your situation…sounds like a lot of family distruptions for you in a short time. I do think Wellesley will listen to your information but just be prepared to give them ANYTHING they ask for.</p>