Help please help! I dont want to go

<p>Hi everyone! So I applied ED1 to Kenyon College and got deferred. It was my dream school and absolutely perfect for me. I am kinda artsy but a little preppy and I wanted a very small greek life in addition to a small, welcoming community. My dean called up the admissions office and they said that this year for Kenyon has been extremely competitive and my chances of getting in regular didn't look so good. So my parents forced me to do an ED2! Not knowing what I wanted, I picked F&M. I begged my parents to let me get out of it but they wont let me. I am a non-partier although I would go to parties if they were low key. Socially, I am a liberal and hate cliques although I know they happen everywhere. I would like to go to a school where I can wear sweatpants to clas and no one would judge. I also want a good batch of people who dont go out and party a lot or get drunk so I can be with them. Do you think F&M is a good fit for me and if not how do you think I should deal with this situation? Thank you so much in advance.</p>

<p>Go visit right now. Arrange an overnight. You will know what you have to do after that.</p>

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<p>If you want to wear sweatpants, then Kenyon is not the school for you. F&M probably is not a good fit either.</p>

<p>Early decision is hard to get out of. That is the whole point of ED. It is precisely for “dream” schools. You and your parents made a mistake going ED at F&M. Sorry.</p>

<p>My advise is to try to get admitted to a school that you do like. Hopefully one that is cheaper than F&M, so that the money you lose to F&M (by breaking the ED) will be compensated for. Do you live in a state with an outstanding state university? Virginia has the College of William and Mary, for example. You can get out of this, but it will take a major effort.</p>

<p>I just checked. F&M is more expensive than Kenyon. Both are very expensive, but F&M is more so.</p>

<p>Not far from Kenyon are two excellent colleges that are cheaper, and also welcome “sweatpants.” Ohio Wesleyan University is a very good school; quite casual and non-judgmental. Not a dream school, but an excellent education. College of Wooster is also quite good and very casual. I have visited all these schools (my dad went to Kenyon, by the way). Check them out.</p>

<p>If you have not yet been admitted to F&M. Call them immediately and cancel your application! Even risk your parents displeasure, and cancel without telling your parents. ED is that bad! Avoid at all costs. See final paragraph below.</p>

<p>Apparently, the binding decision for “Early Decision” is not really a financial obligation and has no legal consequences. However, F&M might take action against you by contacting other colleges you apply to and asking them not to admit you. Unfortunately, both Ohio Wesleyan and Wooster also have ED. So they might pay attention to such a request from F&M. On the other hand, F&M might not bother to contact them.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, I encourage you to attempt to get into another school… one that you know that you like. Good news is that you have plenty of time. Try to apply to some schools that do not have ED, because they might consider it unfair (as I do, see below).</p>

<p>Personally, I strongly oppose the entire ED idea. Many elite schools are dropping it. Princeton no longer offers ED, for example. “Early Action” is okay. ED is too restrictive.</p>

<p>Thank you so much for your advice. Fortunately money is not an issue for me. I live in a town in NY where there is a lot of academic competition and pressure. So, my parents want me to go the best private school I can get into. I got into Bard early action but I dont think that that is a good fit for me. I applied to University of Delaware and wanted to go there even though my parents don’t. I only hope that if I dont like F&M that my parents will let me transfer to a school that I will be happy with like maybe Brandeis or Binghampton. (Which I missed the application deadlines for and didnt think i wanted at first) Thank you so much for your advice.</p>

<p>Okay. If you do end up going to F&M, over this coming summer start researching colleges that you might like better. Take a little time. You could even try Kenyon again (I love their campus). I also have a soft spot for the University of Rochester. Yes, it is private despite the name, and the students have a reputation for being relatively studious not big partiers. Eastman School of Music there brings an artsiness not generally present at other colleges.</p>

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<p>Actually my sister went to Rochester and I may have a distorted image of it because she is a partier and I went to a sorority pre-game and did not like it. But Now I am beginning to see that there are different people at every college. I’m just a little scared that F&M is not diverse. I also applied to Dickinson and Connecticut College. What do you think of those? I applied EA to Dickinson so I am going to hear back from them before F&M so then maybe I could get out. Thank you so much again.</p>

<p>First, seriously, if you have not heard from F&M then contact them and withdraw your ED. It is not worth it. Tell your parents, or not, but withdraw that ED! Maybe you can tell them that you meant to apply EA, and it was a mistake.</p>

<p>Generally, Rochester is not considered a party school, but all schools have plenty of partiers. At least it sounds like your parents would let you go to Rochester. That’s good.</p>

<p>I know very little about Dickinson or Conn College other than what I have heard. I knew a fellow who went to Conn College for a year then transferred back home to Seattle and the University of Washington. I do not remember exactly why (it was not money). Dickinson appears to be more of a party school, and I hear that it is very cliquish. But, again, I have no actual knowledge.</p>

<p>My understanding is that colleges only are nice about letting you out of ED if the reason is financial. Not sure that they would accept any other excuse.</p>

<p>Thank you so much for everything. The problem is, it really too late on my part. Most applications were due 1/1 or 1/15 (including Rochester) and there are very few with later due dates. Most of the schools I applied to Regular Decision were private liberal arts schools except for Delaware. So I guess I am going to face the same problems at any of these schools (But in my view, the exception of Kenyon) It is truly unfortunate that I wasted so much of the college search process focusing on schools that I do not want. I really like the feel of a small school so I focused in on private liberal arts schools but I should have been more open to bigger schools with a more like-minded student body. My options are severly limited for this year so I really think I should go ahead and go along with the F&M decision and I hope I will like it. If not then I will transfer. It sucks to make this realization so late in the game but I guess that’s life. </p>

<p>One idea, a bit far fetched. Take a look at St. John’s College in Annapolis, Maryland. Not a Catholic college, despite the name. Very highly respected liberal arts college. Not hard to get accepted, but all the students are smart. No ED, but unfortunately EA is over. Regular admissions still underway though. See this website:</p>

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<p>Sounds like you might be an introvert, and this is a fantastic school for introverts. Very small (fewer than 500 students). A great mix of nerds and preppies, but no slackers. St. John’s curriculum is the Great Books program, and you spend most of your time reading and discussing books. They also have a campus in Sante Fe and many students switch between campuses for junior and senior years. St. Johns students have excellent success getting into medical school and law schools. I love Kenyon (remember my dad went there) but, personally, I would prefer St. John’s. Wish that I had known about it when I went to college.</p>

<p>Seriously, check it out. You can still get in. A great way to spend a freshman year, if you might transfer elsewhere.</p>

<p>P.S. I feel confident that St. John’s would ignore F&M if they tried to get SJ to not admit you. SJ is proud of being different from every other college.</p>

<p>Another excellent school with admission still open is Guilford College down in North Carolina. Like Haverford and Swarthmore, it was founded by Quakers. Like those two schools, it is not actually very religious anymore, and besides Quakers are the most unpretentious, gentle, and respectful of religious people you can meet. Guilford has an excellent reputation.</p>

<p>Admissions sort of closes on February 15th, but continues into March also (they are not strict about this).</p>

<p>See this website: <a href=“Information on How to Apply to Guilford College”>http://www.guilford.edu/admission/apply-now/index.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I also still think you might fit in at the College of Wooster in Ohio. Less than an hour from Kenyon. Admissions closes February 15th. Wooster has a pleasant campus. Seems a bit artsy. Not at all pretentious.</p>

<p>Really thank you so much but like I said but generally my parents want me to go to the best school I could get into and it seems that F&M is significantly higher ranked then those schools so I wouldnt really be able to do that. Thank you though, I really appreciate it. </p>

<p>I understand. Truly hope that F&M actually works out. Transferring can be a pain. Still, just in case, you should start looking for schools to transfer to after the freshman year. Try Kenyon again, and also some bigger schools. Sometimes the bigger schools offer more opportunities and more different kinds of people.</p>

<p>Keep in mind, the school itself is not as important as how well it fits you (or you fit it). After all, fit is most of life. Better to run with cheap sneakers that fit than Nike’s that are too small, or too big.</p>

<p>Best if Luck.</p>